From Dusk Till Bong – review

Director: James Balsamo

Release date: 2022

Contains spoilers

This one left me rather confused with regards release dates. It follows on from 2015’s Bite School and was released before (and seems to come before chronologically) Bite School 2. In fact Bite School 2 is mentioned as a movie, in a meta piece of Coda, and lead character Tony (James Balsamo) mentions going on to fight Robo-Dracula – which is the basic premise of Bite School 2. It was released three years before Bite School 2 but, I suspect, shot after it. It is disc 3 of the Blu-Ray set “James Balsamo’s Thrilling Three Pack”.

using a prayer scroll

So, after moments of Tony riding a bat (we’ll get to that) and a brief cameo by Eric Roberts, it starts with vampire hunter Screaming Jay Pigeons (Charles Wright) taking on a vampire. He splashes him but the holy water doesn’t seem to work (its daylight, outdoors in the dessert by the way) until Jay declares that it is holy gasoline and sets the vampire alight. As the vampire runs around in flame we see a kyonsi/jiangshi, Broccoli Bob (Bill Victor Arucan, Bite School 2 & the Last Slay Ride), hopping towards him. Also appearing is Jay’s very naked dead wife Lanorea (J.E. Scripps) saying, “Save me, Jay”. She has vanished by the time Broccoli Bob arrives and Jay has time to go through a set of prayer scrolls and affix one to his head.

Spat and Tony

Tony and Spat (a talking side-kick bat) are driving through the Nevada desert – and there is something very Hunter S Thompson/Fear & Loathing about Spat. This offers exposition (and that it is exposition is mentioned). Vicky, who turned millionaire playboy Tony into a vampire, was killed by vampire hunters – later confirmed to be Jay and his partner Father Gill O'Teen (G. Larry Butler, also Bite School 2), Her death made him become human again (he is still getting used to the idea of eating food again) and the subsequent mansion fire burnt all his money (he didn’t trust banks) and so he’s broke. At the start of the film the hunters are still after him and by the end they are allies. Tony stumbles into a vampire outbreak and Jay is collecting vampire eyes so he can “pass through the spiritual event horizon” and rescue Lanorea – who, we discover, was turned and subsequently killed by Jay.

flying by bat

There isn’t too much more to say. Tony is further aided by billionaire Bill Diamond (Robert Felsted Jr.), we get a staking by screwdriver flicked in a condom, some gratuitous nakedness, fighting vampires, and lots of crap bats including the bat I mentioned that we see Tony riding. The bat is actually Mayan bat God Camazotz, summoned in an identical way to that in Bite School 2 in a sequence that involves Lamb of God’s Randy Blythe having his flesh stripped by drawn bats. The model for Camazotz is different, however. When we see Tony riding it is when he declares he has to kill Robo-Dracula. The film itself meanders, jumps back in time and Broccoli Bob seems to reappear even having been seen to be killed (though that could just be a non-linear appearance). It is more stream of consciousness than story. Like the others in the series James Balsamo fans will know what they’re getting and enjoy it. The narrative wasn’t there for me but really that’s the point of his filmmaking – caveated that many do get it, 3 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

On Blu-Ray @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Amazon UK

Bite School 2: Bite Squad – review

Director: James Balsamo

Release date: 2025

Contains spoilers

To get the chronology right, this is a 2025 sequel to James Balsamo’s 2015 film Bite School (at the beginning of this Balsamo’s character Tony meets briefly meets the character George and they say that it’s been 10-years). It is subtitled on some of the artwork as Bite Squad and on others as From Dusk Til Bong, which was a 2022 Balsamo flick which also featured his Tony character. All three films are in the Blu-Ray set “James Balsamo’s Thrilling Three Pack”.

Robo Dracula (whole)

When I reviewed Bite School, I said “This is not a good film, by that I mean as a piece of cinema it does not rank particularly high. However, it doesn’t try to rank high either.” This is just as true of this, if not more so. Tony and George meet in a garden (the sets are very limited in this) and observe a group of vampires with a naked sacrifice. The head vampire is speaking tech speak and has the head of Robot Dracula (Joe Castro). Wires attach (and enter) the sacrifice and draw her energy to bring him new life.

Camazotz

Tony is the chosen one, who will destroy Robo-Dracula with help from the bite squad and the film is filled with talking head interviews as a mockumentary being filmed by someone in the school at the centre of the first film. There are, therefore, plenty of excuses for cameos of musicians and genre stars. Before he can get Robo-Dracula there are other head vampires he must destroy – starting with Mayan bat God Camazotz. In a sequence that involves Lamb of God’s Randy Blythe having his flesh stripped by drawn bats, Tony whips Camazotz but, rather than destroy it, uses it as a ride.

Mimeula

Following that we get him going to France to take on Mimeula (Stu Silverman) a vampire who turns a woman into a mime when he bites her. He also goes to Germany to defeat Krampus – yup Krampus is a vampire in this. This sequence of the three head vampires takes less than ten minutes of film time. We get a scene with Vlad Ţepeş, back in the day, being bitten by a skeletal bat creature and thus becoming a vampire (who will eventually be Robo-Dracula). 

Krampus

There really isn’t much else when it comes to story. It is just gags, low budget props (cardboard circular sawblades, for instance) and a parade of characters and cameos. Yet, still, Balsamo is having a hoot – as are many of those in it. It failed, however, to keep my attention as well as the first one (probably because the story was even thinner than the previous). 3 out of 10 but, again, like the first film it is more than the sum of its score (though perhaps closer this time round) and James Balsamo fans will know what they’re getting and enjoy it.

The imdb page is here.

On Blu-Ray @ Amazon US

Honourable Mention: Hellboy

This is the 2019 reboot of Hellboy, directed by Neil Marshall, and staring David Harbour as the eponymous hero. Now, we’ve looked at a Hellboy product before in the form of Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron.

The film starts in Mexico with Hellboy searching out Esteban Ruiz (Mario de la Rosa) a missing Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense (BRPD) agent who disappeared after being sent to investigate a nest of vampires.

Hellboy enters a place hosting a Luchador match and, on being called out, recognises the masked wrestler Camazotz as Ruiz. He is challenged to a match and – in the finest Santo tradition – as the match goes on, we realise that Camazotz* is a vampire; revealing his strength at first, then fangs and eventually turning into a manbat. Eventually Hellboy throws him onto a ring post, staking him. Ruiz utters a prophecy before dying that will, of course, be relevant to the film moving forwards.

bat form

So, a fleeting visitation – as for the film itself. It was alright but lacked the charm of the original Del Toro directed vehicle. The filmmakers went for high gore and bad language (possibly to distinguish themselves from the earlier vehicle, or maybe because Deadpool did R rated with class and they wanted to emulate its success) and it didn’t gel – the language, for instance, felt forced and detracted from, rather than added to, the experience. There is an over-reliance on CGI but, you know what, it had big boots to fill and forgetting the earlier films it was ok.

The imdb page is here.
*Camazotz being a Mayan bat god.