Ultraviolet (2006) – review

Director: Kurt Wimmer

Release Date: 2006

Contains spoilers

This film was attacked by the critics quite vehemently when it was released and, having now seen it, I can understand why – though perhaps it didn’t deserve the level of abject hatred that was thrown towards it.

The film charts the story of Violet Song Jat Shariff (Milla Jovovich) as she sets out across a dystopian future. It becomes clear that we are not in our own world, this is a world were scientists had discovered a century old disease and tried to modify it to make super-soldiers. Instead they made it more virulent and created hemophages – infected persons. Of course these are vampires and we shall discuss them in more depth later.

When we first see them a group of hemophages have invaded a blood storage area but they are killed. We get a taste for what these creatures are when a lip is pulled back and a fang revealed. Even more so when one of the human operatives gets blood on his hand and is summarily executed. We also know that these infected were forced to wear arm bands, then sent to special areas and then started vanishing – a scenario that had overtones of the Holocaust. Violet herself was pregnant and a nurse when a hemophage went rampant in the hospital and killed her husband, his blood infecting Violet - she was experimented on and her pregnancy terminated.

The health services have taken over and their operatives are heavily armed. The leader of this new society is Vicecardinum Ferdinan Daxus (Nick Chinlund) and he has created, we are told, a weapon to wipe them out once and for all. It is interesting that Daxus’ title has such a religious overtone. The interest this generated was not in a traditional vampiric sense (ie vampires being hunted by the church and afraid of holy relics) but because Wimmer was the director of Equilibrium (2002) and that also had a very strong anti-religious message, with the bad guys taking on the role of the church. It seems to me that Wimmer has a chip on his shoulder.

Violet poses as the courier for the weapon in order to steal it for the resistance, she has been given some form of drug to disguise her altered DNA from the detection equipment. She gets the package but then the real courier (Youlia Galenko) arrives and Violet has to fight her way out. Once she gets back to the Hemophages she takes a peek at the package and it is a young boy, we later discover to be named 6 (Cameron Bright). He carries a pathogen in his blood and Violet believes that, rather than wipe out the Hemophages, it can be used to save them. She battles her way out from her resistance buddies, rather than allow 6 to be killed, and is on the run from both groups. Unfortunately things are not that easy.

The film is very much inspired by such films as the Matrix (1999) and is full of fights and cgi chase scenes. In this it is moderately successful but the price is that the story is patchy and the characters fairly much unexplored. The cgi itself gives the whole thing a comic book look that works. It is a shame that the story and characters were such a secondary consideration as there was a lot here that could have been expanded upon, be it character wise - the love that a hemophage named Garth (William Fitchner) feels for Violet needed exploring but was used as little more than a cipher - or the story itself, which had boundless amounts of unexplored potential.

As for the vampires, well they are so underused it is untrue. They are faster and stronger than humans. They have fangs and most have photosensitivity – though Violet never really developed that when she became infected. The infection itself is extremely virulent and the mere skin contact with a vampire’s bodily fluids will infect. The term vampire is used a couple of times. We never, however, see a feed. In fact we see little blood – a lot of gunfire and swordplay but most of it is clean. To illustrate this, when the hemophages attack the blood bank at the beginning they kill a set of scientist by sword, we see not a single drop pf blood – maybe this was purposeful in that we only see blood at times that are either story or stylistically necessary – but it didn’t work for me. Given that Violet uses a whole rang of groovy high tech gadgets from cyber weapon storage to anti-grav devices, it is clear that them being vampires could almost have been written out, the illness replaced with bird flu and the film wouldn’t have changed very much.

Violet’s ever changing clothing colour and hair colour, like most of the cgi, looks good but is eye candy and nothing more. There is a run in with the Blood Chinois, an uninfected triad like group, which led nowhere and could have added tension to the film and a twist at the end that if you don’t see from a mile away… well shame on you.

For an action film this is a derivative but fairly engaging watch but… As a vampire film it lacks bite and as a piece of intelligent cinema it becomes completely lost.

The acting is fair to middling, though Jovovich does well with the little she is given to get her teeth into.

The action is truly not enough to save this movie and the shame is that, with the right focus, this could have been a great little film. As it is, 3.5 out of 10 is mainly given for the flashy style of the movie and also reflects the patchy nature of the story and characterisation. It is one I will watch again as the effects work and the action is entertaining enough, that said if you are after flashy action vampire stuff you are undoubtedly better off with the Blade movies (1998-2004) or Underworld and Underworld Evolution. That said I will not be watching it at any time that I feel I need to be challenged intellectually by the film I’m viewing, this is very much take your brain out and look at the eye candy.

The imdb page is here.

There is a homepage here.

Vamp or not? Kapop

Kapop is a 2002 Thai film that, as it has no imdb page, I will struggle giving details of a director or stars. Incidentally I have no idea what the name means or where it comes from.

The film itself is little more than a parade of very beautiful half naked Thai girls having simulated sex and a rather seedy sub-story of a teacher, Mr Chan, having his way with one of his students, Ling, in order to allow her to pass an examination and go on a field trip. It is ostensibly a horror movie, though there is little room for too much story with all the simulated sex and I have to say the subtitling was horrible, with direct translation which didn’t scan (or make too much sense often) that had glaring typos. The acting seemed atrocious but, as the best sound was in Chinese, all the dialogue was dubbed – the Thai soundtrack was of a really poor quality.

The film begins with a sex scene, between (we later discover) Ling and fellow student Man Gwan. This cuts, with no explanation, to another scene with a girl, we later discover to be Yik Yu and an unnamed man. During their sport two masked man come up and kill her lover and begin to rape her. The men die, having cried out something about a ghost, and an old woman appears. She announces that she is ghost (that is how the subtitle reads) and tells her that she will get into Yik Yu’s body and she (Yik Yu) must finish it. Then we have a longer, but in the main identical, scene with Man Gwan and Ling.

The Mayor and police of a village have found eaten men and, the audience having established that the students are going on a field trip (to the village) without Ling as her exam results are not good (she has to remain back one day and service Mr Chan in order to go), we cut to an outdoor movie near the village. The mayor’s daughter, Nga Wha, and Yik Yu go to the film. Yik Yu goes off with the owner of the film to his van. There is more sex (she looks very bored) then we see him scream.

A debate between the police, the men of the village and the mayor concentrates on what could be eating these men. A ghost is suggested and someone else mentions that it might be an afreet. This is ridiculed, as they only eat carrion, until one of the men states that his grandfather told him that afreet can sleep with men and attack the living.

The students arrive and, that night, one of them makes a date with Yik Yu. After more sex he is pulled away by Man Gwan as the girl is a ghost. All we see is that her hair has started flying out in a breeze and her face is lit up.

The next night Mr Chan and Ling pull up outside the village. He wants more sex and has Ling tie him up. She is behind the car putting on a satin nightie when Yik Yu approaches him. They escape but we finally see Yik Yu in her monstrous glory and this is why I am writing a Vamp or Not? Yik Yu, in some very poor effects it has to be said, has become a floating head with her guts hanging down. Though not mentioned this is the physical appearance of a type of Malaysian vampire called the penanggalan.

The Vampire Encyclopedia has this to say about the penanggalan: “A dreadful Malaysian vampire, one of the most unique in the world because it flies about at night with only a head and neck, its intestines dangling beneath them. The creature is always female…”

Now the look of the creature is right though the normal feeding pattern is to suck the blood from children or women in labour – although it will target men. That said the only body of a victim we see (Mr Chan, who gets his come-uppance) doesn’t look that chewed up and is covered in blood – the reference to eating might have been a result of bad subtitling. The myth also states that the organs glow and this is certainly replicated in the film. Certainly its ghostly origins are not mentioned in the myths nor is it in any way related to the afreet (which is actually an Arabic fire spirit of the djinn order). Again the names could have come from bad translation for the subtitling.

One addition to its repertoire of powers, that Kapop adds, is the ability to posses other women, in this case Nga Wha – though whether that was for plot sake or just an excuse to have a further half naked girl in the film I cannot say. The way the creature is dealt with is out with the myth also. In the myth they are held by sharp thorns from the jeruju and dealt with when the sun rises, the time when the penanggalan is vulnerable. In this Man Gwan has sex (of course he does, with the fantastic lines of - him: I love you - her: I love you too, shall we have sex? – I paraphrase) with the possessed Nga Wha and, when she turns he manages to hold her back until she passes out. In a rather bad ending they hug, him assuming that she is safe, the music turns nasty and she gives an evil look over his shoulder, a subtitle thanks us for watching.

Not a great film by any stretch of the imagination but, given the look of the creature, I’d have to say a definite vampire movie of the order penanggalan. Thus, despite the poor effects and virtually non-existent story, there has to be a tad of kudos offered, after all how often does one see a penanggalan depicted?

A Fistful of Charms - review

Author: Kim Harrison

First Released: 2006


The Blurb

“There’s no rest for the wicked, even when the taint on your soul isn’t your fault.

“It would be wise for witch and bounty hunter, Rachel Morgan, to keep a low profile right now. Her new reputation for the dark arts has piqued the interest of Cincinnati’s night-prowlers, who despise her and long to bring an end to her interference, one way or another. Nevertheless, Rachel must risk exposure. Her ex-boyfriend, Nick, has stolen a priceless Were artefact, and, as tempting as it may be to let the Weres him apart (sic), Rachel feels obliged to attempt a rescue.

“But other sinister forces also covert the relic Nick has hidden. Some who desire it so badly they will take the city – and everyone in it – apart to wield its frightening power.”

The Review

I’ve got to start by saying, don’t you just love it when a blurb only pays a slight resemblance to the book you have just read! The gist is there but it doesn't really describe the base story that I read. This is the fourth book of the Rachel Morgan series, so I do not want to give too much away. The books are, primarily, set around the Cincinnati area. The basic premise was that inderlanders (made up of such creatures as Were creatures, vampires, pixies, fairies and witches) have been around human’s for centuries, hidden from sight.

Unfortunately genetic modification of tomatoes led to a virus that wiped out the vast majority of humans (and has left humans with paranoia about both genetic manipulation and tomatoes) and the inderlanders found themselves in the majority and went public. There is a mystery surrounding elves, a species that seems to have died out and demons also play a role in the novels.

Rachel Morgan is a witch and a private bounty hunter for a company called vampiric charms made up of herself, Ivy the living vampire and Jenks the Pixie. This is, of course, one of the many multi-creature books that have started to appear over the last few years.

The books are written in first person, from Rachel’s viewpoint but, of course, we are primarily interested here in the vampiric element. Vampires are made up of two types, living vampires (who are the children of two live vampires) and dead vampires (the true undead). Hence when threatening a living vampire you wouldn’t say I’ll kill you but I’ll kill you twice.

The vampires produce pheromones that attract their pray, the dead vampires have lost their souls. They have heightened senses, strength and speed (the dead vampires more so than the living). The living vampires can walk in the sun, the dead vampires have traditional reactions to such things as sunlight - both types dislike the smell of cloves.

Vampirism is a type of virus and it can infect and turn humans. Other Inderlander species cannot be turned but the virus (with some magic) can bind them to a specific vampire and a bite can make you susceptible to vampiric attention (of either the one you are bound to or, if you are unclaimed, all vampires).

Through the series there have been some nice vampiric moments and lore, such as never mix your scent with that of a vampire as it drives them into a frenzy of bloodlust and acts, essentially, as a sexual come-on to them.

This book itself moves out of Cincinnati for most of the novel and is very werewolf orientated, but nevertheless has some good vampiric moments, including the illegal euthanasia of a very ill living vampire in order to allow him to become a dead vampire without loosing his life insurance because of suicide.

A great story, with lots of clever ideas this is a must read for fans of the series. The writing style is strong, and I am not the biggest fan of first person prose - much prefering to read third person. The characters are complex - though perhaps a little overly angst ridden at times and those complexities have built over the series. I also love the rules and laws that society have introduced around dealing with humans and Inderlanders, they feel right.

7.5 out of 10.

Another quicky

I promised I was on my way, hiatus bound, but came across this bit of news and had to share. Bloody Disgusting have reported that Uwe Boll is to make BloodRayne 2, a sequel to the 2005 Bloodrayne - this time set in the Wild West.

I had to mention because it seems, at last, someone is listening to me. Natassia Malthe (pictured) is to star as Rayne. Now Malthe was in the 2005 film Vampire Wars: Battle for the Universe. This is what I had to say about her in my review of that film:

"Quintana is played by the very beautiful Natassia Malthe and is one of the best reasons to watch the film. Not only gorgeous, the character is fascinating and I had the feeling, as I watched, that this is how Bloodrayne should have been played."

So, there you go... That said it is still an Uwe Boll film.

I Pass for Human – review

Directed by: Chris D

Release Date: 2004

Contains spoilers

This is an excellent independent film with a disturbing story. We begin with Jane (Eleanor Whitledge) going to the doctors (Mary Woronov) on behalf of her boyfriend Dax (Bryan Small). Dax was a recovering heroin addict, who has fallen of the wagon and been kicked of the methadone programme.

She tells the Doctor that he claims he has been seeing dead people, other junkies who have overdosed. Dax himself overdoses and, when Jane goes to his grave, she meets up with his sister, and fellow Junkie, Mila (Jennifer Ciesar). Mila mentions that talking to Azami (Eva Scott) had been freaking her out but Jane saw no-one, yet we saw her walk past a girl on the way to the grave.

Back at Jane’s apartment Mila snorts some drugs and leaves a line for Jane, she also suggests that she talks to Rick (Joshua Cox), who has lost someone to heroin. Jane, who never used drugs before, takes the line. We see her in bed and hear (but do not see) Dax talking to Azami, he tells her to be patient as Jane is on her way and accuses Azami of liking being this way.

Jane goes to the laundry room and then deeper into the bowels of the apartment. She sees a man painting, the light goes out and she is hit from behind, when the lights go on the man is gone. We discover that Jane has a wound on the back of her neck.

The next day Rick visits her but it becomes apparent that he too is a junkie and also seeing Azami. Jane leaves him and then returns and admits that she left because she was going to ask if he had any drugs, they end up shooting up together.

The basic premise of the vampires is that they are junkies who suck the life out of other junkies. At first one might wonder as to whether they are actually vampires, they are referred to at one point as ghosts. But Jane refers to them as leeches and once as vampires. Later in the film we see a feed and we also see Azami bear fangs. These are vampires, but the premise is unusual.

The use of vampires as a metaphor for drug addiction is nothing new. That, however, is not what Chris D has done here. Rather the vampires are not a metaphor, they are junkies still eager for the high and stealing it (and the life) from others. The Doctor tells Jane that she had been a morphine addict and always felt as though someone was stood over her shoulder whenever she was going to take a hit. Azami’s ex-husband (John Diehl), himself an overdose victim, explains that an addict sits on the fence, on one side life and on the other death and you never know which way they will go, hence their ability to see the dead. The way the vampires are done means that there is no holy water, stake or cross solution – not that any of those are tried. The only way to stop the vampires is to become clean

The two main vampires are Azami and Samantha (Iris Berry) and the filmmakers did awfully well at making these two seem otherworldly. This is one of the strengths of the film. There is very little in the way of special effects until, later, we see a decayed dead junky and because of this there is little chance of spoiling the film with bad effects – the film is primarily story driven.

The daytime shots were a little over-exposed, though that might have been deliberate, and it was nice to watch an independent film that kept everything viewable at night. The soundtrack is excellent.

The main actors all do a good job but special mention to Whitledge as Jane as she makes her character one who carries our sympathy and this is down to her performance rather than the script. I wasn't too sure about the character Mila, but that was probably a testimony to Jennifer Ciesar's acting in that she made the character so dislikable.

If the film has a weakness it is in the script. The story is excellent and the characters rightly amoral but the characterisation seemed a little weak. I couldn’t understand why Jane, a woman who had nursed an addict, would start taking drugs herself and the characterisation didn’t give me that insight. She does try to explain to the doctor but I didn’t necessarily buy it. This, however, was a minor quibble so long as you can suspend your disbelief and just accept that she has started down a drug use road.

The film has a couple of shock moments, but they do not shock that much. A hand grabs Jane from beneath a seat when she is high at one point and I have mentioned the decaying junkie already. The true shock of the film is in the story and in the amorality of the characters. In truth, whilst it is clearly a supernatural film, the horror comes from something that is all too real in the world. There is also a lovely twist ending that spins your preconceptions and really makes you think about what you have watched… but I can say no more as I don’t want to spoil it.

All in all, a harrowing but excellent movie that I thoroughly enjoyed and I’m happy to give 7 out of 10 to.

The imdb page is here.

Brief Hiatus

Once again real life comes along and prevents posting! Unfortunately I’m going away for a few days with work. I’m posting the review of I Pass For Human today and that’ll be it for a few days, but more vampiric goodness will be posted once I’m back.

Dracula

For those who haven't seen Dracula (1931), a little treat.

The excellent blog Darkside Sanitarium have put a link up to view the movie at Google movies.

There is also the link to watch Paul Naschy's hyper-camp Werewolf Vs The Vampire Women (1970) and links to other horror movie goodies.

Have fun....

Sorority House Vampires From Hell – review

Directed by: Geoffrey De Valois & Eugene James

Release date: 1998

Contains spoilers

The case of Blood Hunt has this to say about this movie:

“Death, Demons, D-Cops! The UFO Demon, Rabaalhazor, has sent the vampire, Natalia, to destroy the Earth. Each time she takes a victim a natural disaster rocks the planet. Humanities only hope is the sexy sorority pledge, Buffy, and the members of her sisterhood. She must not only save the world but she must also save herself from the perverted desires of both Rabaalhazor and Natalia.”

Well, that’s cleared that up because between the awful sound, worse dialogue, sub-porn acting and incoherent script, direction and editing you’d never guess the plot by simply watching this. It really is that bad. The credits have a topless woman dancing, this is followed by the demon giving us his plan (I assume as I couldn’t understand a word said) and we don’t see the demon just a monitor by the way. This is followed by five minutes of his naked high priestess dancing and animated tentacles with what looks like an attempt to mimic hentai. This entire section is almost in double vision, as though the section was meant to be in 3D, but from what I can ascertain the 3D doesn’t work.

We then have Natalia’s (Eugenie Bondurant) rising from the grave. Her successful attack on a surfer and his silicon enhanced girlfriend, plus Buffy (Kathy Pregrave) (and can I just say, what an original name for the blonde, college girl heroine!) and the other pledges going to the sorority house. All this section is shot in bleached black and white with scenes of another vampire, Count Vlad (Bob Buchholz), trying to rise from his coffin. Vlad is the unfunny comedy insert through the film and is Natalia’s estranged love, from what I can gather.

Once at the sorority house we flip to colour. The victims return as zombies, though if the truth be told not all victims return as zombies. Buffy’s boyfriend, Jim (Kenny Gibbs), is only half drained, later in the film, and becomes half vampire. By that I mean the left hand side of his body is a vampire and the right hand side is human – oh it is all so hilarious as we watch him fight against himself, not.

There is some form of plot about having to drain nine victims, each draining steals a soul, but for the life of me I couldn’t work anymore out.

The film does have the lamest reason, given by a potential victim, as to why a vampire shouldn’t bite them – “You can’t bite me, I’m a hemophiliac.” Hmmm… okay. Suddenly it is zombies and not vampires who must stop and count grain if left in their path, I’ve heard of mixing metaphors but mixing folklore? It is the first movie I’ve seen where a vampire drains a victim by biting their bottom, which is just an excuse for the vampire to discover that the butch lesbian victim (Lisa Roesen) is really a man. We also discover that if you fill a bottle with tap water and draw a cross on the label with felt tip it becomes holy water… I was really loosing the will to live watching this.

The film has three endings. The first one in which Natalia drains Buffy, the second in which Buffy defeats the vampires (Natalia and Vlad) and the last in which Natalia kills Vlad and becomes human only to fight Buffy who thinks she is still evil and then everything cuts to a wrap party in the film studio. One ending would have been bad enough, that just stretched the agony out further.

There is an awful lot of breast on show, which is about the best thing you can say about this. 0 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

Blood Slaves of the Vampire Wolf – review

Directed By: Conrad Brooks

Release Date: 1996

Contains spoilers

Conrad Brooks, the director of this movie, at the very least, deserves a footnote in B Movie history as he was someone who worked with Ed Wood, in fact he was in several of the infamous director’s films including “Glen or Glenda” (1953) and “Plan 9 From Outer Space” (1959) as well as playing a bit part in Tim Burton’s biopic “Ed Wood” (1994). Indeed this film has a dedication to the memory of Ed Wood at the head of the film.

Unfortunately, Conrad Brooks failed to learn any lessons from Wood, he might have looked at Wood’s techniques, scripts and dialogue and said I will do better, but in fact this movie has less within it than a Wood production.

The basic premise is okay – at least to a degree. (At this point I must apologise for not putting the majority of the ‘actor’s’ names in this review but it is unclear who most are.). We begin with probably the worst bat flying scene in movie history, essentially a rubber bat suspended before the hand held video camera as the camera man walks along. We cut to a rather large man, Antonio, leaving the film “Interview with the Vampire Professional”. He seems a jolly sort who likes everything and everyone. He goes to a movie store and buys some horror magazines for his buddies and goes to meet them in a bar. On his way there he is approached by a girl asking for his autograph, and he explains he is not a movie star.

The autograph hunter seems to be there for one reason and one reason only, she approaches another couple of men and at last gets an autograph. He states he is not a star, a real star is someone like Conrad Brooks! She plays no further part in the film.

Antonio goes to Mike’s bar and buys beers for his buddies, on his way to their table he says hello to a mysterious man (Conrad Brooks) and woman, who ignore him. Having had a beer he leaves for his car. The mystery woman (who we later discover is called Selena) tells the man to remain and follows. She approaches Antonio by his car and insinuates herself to his place for a night cap. His home is a cornucopia of horror and B Movie merchandise. As he freshens up she slips something into his glass. He drinks it and realises her glass is dry, queue a rendition of “I never drink… wine.”

Drugged, she stabs him repeatedly, his screams attracting neighbours, whom she calmly walks past, and then the police. He is taken to the morgue but Selena appears, makes an incantation and he rises as a sort of zombie/vampire hybrid. The changes must be seen to be believed. The dying process seems to have made thick black greasepaint appear below his eyes and caused his beard to grow! Selena is the vampire, she creates slaves by feeding them the powder (a mind altering drug from the 30’s, when she was a movie star, that saps the will and can cause vampirism – I know, I know) and then uses them to drain victims, the blood then drained from her slaves and fed to her. There are a couple of interesting points with this, the drug might be a silly premise but it did remind me of the concept of zombie powder and the filtering through their bodies, whilst not explained, was a unique idea. Unfortunately, the powder has got into some cheap wine that the local wino’s have got and so, when Antonio drains a woman called Maisy she returns as an uncontrolled (green faced) vampire who manages to give the police their lead.

The effects are non-existent, even the credits are written on card and we see a finger at one point as one is held to camera. The locations are ridiculous at times, the warehouse they must have used for the morgue is clearly not a morgue - decrepit and so not sterile. The sound is recorded via the video camera’s in-built mike and thus the dialogue jumps in volume depending where the ‘actor’ is in relation to the camera.

I keep putting ‘actor’ in inverted commas, there simply isn’t a good performance and the dialogue is clumsy. The film quality itself is poor, my partner walked in whilst I was watching and asked whether I had started watching vampire home movies now.

As a memorial piece to Wood, this probably works and at least there was an attempt to build a story line (incidentally there is no reason why it should refer in the title to a vampire wolf, except with a slim connection to the moon). For kitsch value only I will give this .5 of a mark, but I can find no reason to build anymore score for it, so it remains at a lowly .5 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.
 

How to slay a vampire – review

Directed by: John & Mark Polonia

Release Date: 1995

Contains spoilers

Oh dear, oh dear. Some people should just not be allowed to get near a camera… ever.

The basic story of this turkey is that two brothers (John and Mark Polonia), sons of a drunken red-neck mother, discover a vampire (Count Francis) wrapped in a rug in the cellar. They try to kill said vampire by stake, hanging, cutting the heart out, decapitation, garlic, the cross and holy water. Nothing works.

The vampire awakens, farts (I’m not kidding) and escapes, and so they try to hunt him down. With a series of some of the worst jokes committed to celluloid, this film has to be one of the worst scripted films I have ever come across. Not even the referential moments highlighting that this is a film within the film, including the hilariously unfunny mike-boom gag, raise a titter and someone should tell these people that making a joke of child abuse isn’t funny.

The acing is entirely sub-rate, the sound awful and the sound effects worse. The sfx are non-existent.

Eventually, having staked a teddy bear rather than their quarry (and remember they are hunting this thing with stakes when that didn’t work earlier), they kill the vampire by opening a garage door and catching him in sunlight (that he was walking in, in previous scenes) and then flush the ashes down the toilet.

Normally I’d offer a little more plot detail, but there is none. Normally I would try and find some glimmer of goodness in a film, but there isn’t one. Normally I would try and explain some of the more awful moments, but I really cannot be bothered… Not that I want to short change readers of this blog, you understand, but because this really is one of the most singularly worst excuses for a movie I’ve ever seen and it seems only fair that I put no more effort into the review than they did into the movie (and I think I’ve already exceeded that). There is nothing in this to recommend it, I can’t even suggest that you watch it to see how bad it is. 0 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

Demon Under Glass - review

Director: Jon Cunningham

Release Date: 2002

Contains spoilers

This movie is severely lacking in budget, which comes out in film stock quality and low effects budget, and also contains some poor performances particularly from some of the supporting cast but it has a superb story and that goes a long way.

At the beginning we read that there is a murderer on the prowl, dubbed Vlad by the press as he drains his victims. His victims are primarily prostitutes and so the police are involved in a sting operation using Det. Gwen Taylor (Denise Alessandria Hurd) as bait. After capturing the wrong man she is approached by a man, we later discover to be Simon Molinar (Jason Carter). Before he leaves his car he checks his fangs in the wing mirror. He kisses her on the way up to her room, very nearly sweeping her off her feet, and then is swooped upon by the police and the feds. He throws his would be captors off, rips the door of its hinges and makes a break for it.

Heavily armed feds, with crosses on their body armour, go after him. The feds are from the Delphi Project, their aim to capture a vampire. Molinar is shot up and is found by the instigator of the Delphi Project, Dr Hirsch (James Kiberd), whom Molinar strangles before being beaten into submission. Hirsch’s second in command, Dr Bassett (Jack Donner), needs to get another medical doctor in and selects Joseph McKay (Garett Maggart). At first McKay is sceptical, unsure as to why they want him to treat a man who has been shot several times and is in a steel coffin, banging to get out, but they will not let him operate until the morning.

The reason for the delay is because the room in which Molinar is kept, which is air-locked to prevent escape, has a sun-shield that can be moved away to expose the vampire to the sun. At this point, however, they do not know how much sunlight would damage the vampire but when McKay is finally allowed to operate he not only pulls out bullets but a musket ball that is lodged in Molinar’s back.

Of course we know things are going to go wrong, Bassett becomes obsessed with the vampire (who for his own part proves very co-operative) stretching the grounds of research past anything that can be classed as remotely moral, he even makes the comment himself as to whether he is going down the same road as Josef Mengele – though it doesn’t seem to stop him. McKay is unhappy with the treatment of his patient but then, as he learns more of the serial killer Vlad, becomes less sure of the ground he stands on. Taylor is frustrated by the fact that her suspect has vanished and is on the trail, whilst suffering erotic dreams of Molinar. Molinar, despite co-operating, is a caged predator. There is also a poignant sub-story concerning the father (Leroy Smith) of one of Vlad’s victims.

We learn a little about Molinar the man, he lived in the Pyrenees during the time of Hannibal and was attacked, left for dead and became what he is. Of vampires generally we learn a lot. Crosses and garlic don’t effect them (garlic is discovered in one of the more farcical scenes with a marine belching in his face). Sunlight, even indirect sunlight, is deadly. They pee blood and for all intents and purposes are dead and yet function. The scientists uncover a virus that they believe is the cause of the vampirism, that would only effect 1 in 1000 people – hence the spread of the condition is limited.

They have reflections and can be filmed and x-rayed. In a pocket in their gums, where nerves should be, they store their fangs which are pushed down by fluid. I could go on as this is one of the real strengths of the film, the attention to detail is marvellous. Indeed the story is so well thought out that the film has inspired a couple of books based in the Demon Under Glass world.

The story itself exposes the question of who is the real monster, the vampire – who acts to survive – or the scientists. It then blurs these lines again as we wonder, does the vampire simply kill to survive or because he enjoys it. We hear that one of Vlad’s victims was sexually assaulted, beaten, every bone in her body broken and then had her throat slit before draining, which is much less survival and much more the act of a sexual sadist. That said we never truly know if Molinar is Vlad the serial killer or whether he happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and the serial killer was someone else. McKay cannot reconcile the man he knows with the killer that is described to him. We also wonder if Molinar co-operates with the scientists because he sincerely wants to help or is it a survival reaction.

The film itself can be a little slow in places and the action finale is a little under-directed, I feel. The direction is much better when it comes to the scenes that show the interaction of characters. Carter as Molinar is fantastic, as is Maggart as McKay. Both come across as believable and Carter makes a fantastic vampire (it is not surprising that Carter was, I believe, considered for the role of Dracula in the 1992 film, before the role went to Gary Oldman). Unfortunately much of the supporting cast is poor.

The film is crying out for a remake, with the main two actors and a lot more budget. The film stock quality especially lets down what is a potentially classic vampire film. 6.5 out of 10 reflects how impressed I am with the film generally, and how frustrated I am with the aspects that let it down. I will say, however, that it is a must see for genre fans.

The imdb page is here.


As per the comments, it seems that the print quality of the DVD leaves a lot to be desired. I hope, one day, that a proper print version of this film is released and I will re-review it at that point. In the meantime director Jon Cunningham supplied me with some comparison stills and I publish a few here to show the difference:

Blood Hunt - DVD set

Another multi-set for me to peruse and then share my thoughts with you all. I found Blood Hunt nice and cheap on e-bay. Now, as with all these sets, I am sure I am in for some highs and lows - unfortunately I’m going to stick my neck out and say more lows.

The high, as I already have the movie (though I’ve not reviewed it as of yet) is the movie Demon Under Glass. However, a look at the other titles kind of indicates that quality may be lacking – though I could be surprised.

The set includes:

Demon Under Glass T_ttlg score 6.5 out of 10

How to Slay a Vampire T_ttlg score 0 out of 10

Blood Slaves of the Vampire Wolf T_ttlg score 0.5 out of 10

Sorority House Vampires From Hell T_ttlg score 0 out of 10

Vamp or Not? Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire

I really don’t know where to start with this 1985 oddity that was directed by Alan Clarke. Firstly I’d better explain that this is a snooker movie, the green baize referring to the felt covering of snooker tables. Now this may not mean a lot to some readers, snooker as a viewer orientated sporting phenomena is, as far as I can tell, in the main a British obsession. In fact even in the UK many people cannot understand why someone would watch snooker as a sport – and I’ll admit that I am one of the sad individuals that likes to do so.

The film is more than that, it has East End gangster overtones. It is a musical, and very much has the look as though it were shot upon a stage rather than a film set. As a musical it is almost reminiscent of what it would be like if Blur produced a musical. That is really no surprise as Phil Daniels who plays Billy the Kid was on the Parklife single. Also it has vampires, or does it?

The storyline is fairly simple. Billy the Kid is an up and coming snooker player whose manager, T.O. (Bruce Payne), is in debt to a mysterious man (possibly a loan shark?) known only as the Wednesday Man (Don Henderson). To pay off his debts T.O. is told to arrange a grudge match between Billy and nine times snooker champion Maxwell Randall (Alun Armstrong) – known as the green baize vampire.

To manoeuvre this, T.O. sets up a journalist (Louise Gold) to interview both players. Her report makes what Billy says seem libellous and Maxwell is going to sue. They decide to settle their differences on the snooker table with the stipulation that the loser never again plays professional snooker.

The personas of the two characters seem drawn from the personas the press draw around them. Billy is a cowboy obsessive and Maxwell is a vampire – the character was loosely based on snooker pro Ray Reardon who was described in the press as a vampire because of his looks. Things are not that simple as we shall see.

We first meet Maxwell in what appears to be a gothic castle. He rises from his coffin and bears fangs at the camera. Then he notices that his mouth tastes off and… sprays his mouth with mouth spray and we see a glint on the fangs. We hear “Cut” and realise that we are at an advertisement shoot.

The next time we meet Maxwell is at his home. He greets the journalist with large fangs in place but then removes them. It seems as though his fangs, and those of his wife (Eve Ferret), are for show. Essentially he is living up to his media persona. Yet below the large fake fangs he seems to have smaller, but still very apparent fangs. Later Maxwell, in a rage about the article, states that he couldn’t spell Transylvania, never mind coming from there, and that he quite likes garlic. We could question whether the persona is coming apart.

Things become odder as we delve further into his house. He has a glass coffin snooker table with, what appears to be the dummy of a vampire, whom Maxwell claims is his father. His father is asked about his plans for the grudge match and the balls atop the table move by themselves, we assume offering assent.

So far, however, there is nothing to indicate that this is anything more than playing up to his media identity. However, in the match we notice a couple of things. Towards the end of the match, as Billy makes a comeback, we see Billy dazzle Maxwell with his spur. The reflection of the spur in Maxwell’s eye is a cross. This may only be symbolic but it is very clever and I was much taken by the scene. A similar form of symbolism is used when Billy is being beaten, and takes the form of the referee sprouting fangs.

The game ends in a blackball finish. As the black hurtles towards the pocket, struck by Billy, Maxwell’s eyes flash white and he stops the ball with his vampiric powers. Billy pulls out a six-shooter and fires, blowing the ball home. Again we are seeing something symbolic but the lines, in this movie, are always being blurred.

The film itself is one that has to be seen, if only because you will never have seen anything like it before. Perhaps it helped that I like snooker, but in honesty I think I’d have said the same anyway. However, that doesn’t clarify if the film is a vampire movie or not. Strictly speaking I would have to say no as the vampire is symbolic, but the use of the symbolism is so sublime that this becomes very much a case of the genre being used in alternative ways. Often we have seen the vampire used as a symbol of addiction, for example, but never as such a specific symbol, the personification of an individual one could almost say, as in this film – then again the film is unique. The Green Baize Vampire might not be the undead, but the symbolism causes him to be a vampire and thus causes the movie to be a vampire movie – just one of the most unusual you’ll ever see.

The imdb page is here.