The Fetus – review

Director: Joe Lam

Release date: 2025

Contains spoilers

This was one that Simon Bacon originally switched me on to and has finally come to the UK On Demand. It is a ‘B’ with a very unusual, though perhaps not entirely unique, vampire type and it has a comedic layer to it, that is perhaps a tad underplayed.

It starts with a man (Evan Towell) drunk and praying. He takes a bound notebook and throws it into the open fire. Later, the fire has died down and the book is unsinged, his eyes turn white and he takes it, enters the cellar, draws a circle and a Hellish portal begins to open…

Lauren LaVera as Alessa

Cut forward in time and a couple, Alessa (Lauren LaVera, The Well) and Chris (Julian Curtis), are in bed and enjoying some vigorous sex. When they climax her face, momentarily, becomes demonic. He freaks, jumps out of bed and goes to the bathroom, where he discovers the condom had split – he puts it in the bin, neglecting to tell her. The next day she has a pre-scheduled gynaecological examination and is told she is pregnant. When she protests that he always uses a condom, the doctor points out that there is dried semen from the night before.

Julian Curtis as Chris

Getting home she confronts Chris – who has been looking at a dating app whilst she is out – and finds the broken condom. The morning after pill he bought her goes in the toilet and she demands he takes her to see her father, Maddox (Bill Moseley, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and Gothic Harvest), who always said to go straight to him if she became pregnant. Chris is not prepared to do that but after a call about his recently deceased and estranged father, and a medical incident with Alessa, he relents. The incident saw her clutching her stomach, blood dripping from out of her skirt, and her slipping and falling.

the fetus feeding

On the drive she complains about being starving hungry and they stop at a gas station. In the store Chris has interaction with a diabetic kid and his angry father – which, along with the call about his father, aims to establish his fatherhood credentials – Alessa, on the other hand goes to the bathroom. She is wracked with stomach pains and then a woman investigates. We see the fetus (looking much like a chest-burster from Alien) emerge from her skirts, attached to the umbilical. It self-propels at the woman, fangs latching to her neck after which it drinks her blood.

the fetus

Suffice it to say that Alessa’s mother did not die in childbirth, as she had been told, but was a demon summoned by Maddox (in the scene at the head of the film). The fetus is very fast growing and needs blood. If it can’t get blood, it will drink the mother’s to survive. Generally, however, it won’t attack kin. A vampiric fetus is rare but not unheard of and the most obvious example is the film Baby Blood. The demon could be classed as a blood demon; losing an arm at one point, it regrows when she drinks human blood.

Bill Moseley as Maddox

The film is schlock but it is good fun schlock. Lauren LaVera is really making a scream queen name for herself (thanks, of course, to the Terrifier films) and Bill Moseley is a horror legend. The film could have done with maybe a stronger edge to the comedy or a stronger edge to the horror/gore but we are where we are and it was entertaining enough, but I thought the idea of the blood drinking fetus a stronger part of the film than the contents of the film itself. 5.5 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Amazon UK

Interview with the Vampire: Claudia's Story – review

Art and Adaptation: Ashley Marie Witter

Based on: Anne Rice

First published: 2012

Contains spoilers

The Blurb: Claudia was just a little girl when she was turned by the vampire Lestat. Though she spends many years of happiness with her two vampire fathers, Claudia gradually grows discontent with their insistence upon treating her like a little girl, even though she has lived as long as any mortal man.

And her lust to kill is certainly no less than theirs...

The review: An adaptation in graphic novel form, this retells the Claudia section of Interview with the Vampire but from her point of view. As such we do miss moments as Witter focuses on the things Claudia would have been privy to. However, there are omissions, such as Armand removing her head and attaching it to an adult body – an experiment that fails, which felt more an aesthetic choice than anything. That said, the book follows Interview and the revelation about Armand’s experiment appears in the Vampire Armand, which may also be why it wasn’t shown.

If you are familiar with the story there is not anything new here, it is an adaptation after all, but the change in perspective works and the story works as a standalone saga within the greater whole. The art proved to be a bold choice. A just shy of sepia palate, with bold reds, the art is lovely and works very well, when a temptation to delve into a darker palate and richer Gothic must have been there. All in all, worthwhile. 7 out of 10.

In Hardback @ Amazon US

In Hardback @ Amazon UK

For Night Will Come – review

Director: Céline Rouzet

Release date: 2023

Contains spoilers

This is the a use of a vampire as a (pretty on the nose) coming of age metaphor, with a protagonist whose vampirism is never explained and so the viewer has to take as is. It actually reminded me a little of the Radleys as I watched it but with very notable differences (only one vampire and the incredibly emo tone being two that immediately spring to mind).

vampire infant

The film opens with the sounds of labour and birth. The baby is named Philémon and when a doctor enters the room, presumably a little after the birth, he encourages mom, Laurence (Élodie Bouchez), to put him to the breast. The baby suckles but a trickle of blood flows from under the baby’s mouth eventually staining the white hospital sheet. Philémon is a vampire infant. We see Laurence take him from an incubator and stealing off with him in the night,

arrival

This is not a vampire infant film, however, and the next time we see Philémon (Mathias Legout Hammond) he is an older teen in the back of a car, sat by his little sister, Lucie (Laly Mercier). The car is driven by his father Georges (Jean-Charles Clichet) and it has coverings over the window by Philémon. The family are moving to a small country village or town. They have – we hear later – been fairly isolated. The film makes a point of the crossing of a bridge, which is symbolic of coming of age.

testing light tolerance

Philémon has a medical condition that requires he have fresh blood – it can be intravenously given but later he does drink it and mentions a thirst. It also means he must avoid direct sunlight and later we see him timing himself in the sun, waiting for ill effects. These happen soon and manifest, in the first moment, as tinnitus, it rapidly makes him ill (and is ultimately deadly). There is never an attempt to explain why he is like this, his family just accept it.

Céleste Brunnquell as Camile

Both Laurence and Philémon have implanted mediports so that she can donate blood to him. The plan in this new place, however, is for her to work as a nurse in a blood donation centre and she will steal “spoiled” bags. She does this but the viewer knows it will go wrong eventually. Philémon meets a girl, Camile (Céleste Brunnquell), and starts to fall for her and she, despite an inferred other romantic interest, eventually falls for him. However, the rest of the local kids start to turn against the weird emo kid who often sits in the shade, and this is compounded when Camile cuts her hand down at the swimming spot and he can’t help but suck at the wound.

drinking blood

The issue with the film is it treads ground that many vehicles have walked, and it isn’t that vampire films don’t normally do that, they do, rather it is that it doesn’t stand out particularly in any way. We know where it is going to go, the hatred of the locals, the girl submitting to his charms (she even takes that leap to know what he is and asks him to bite her) etcetera. We even get the devouring (off screen, so the shock value is massively diminished) of a beloved pet – being his sister’s dog, mostly because it seems to bark at him specifically if he is drinking blood. It seems that drinking animal blood causes a rampant itchy rash outbreak.

wrath of the locals

The film looks good enough, and it stays on course as a discourse on adolescence, not fitting in and the unkindness of strangers. The main protagonist, as mentioned, is very angsty/emo but that is adolescence for you, I guess. It just didn’t do anything I felt was interesting with it. The Radleys, at least, had the twins offering contrasts (and some black humour), a vampire hunter and a queer aspect. This brought little to the party. 5 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Amazon UK

Honourable Mention: Uzumaki

The Blurb: Kurouzu-cho, a small fogbound town on the coast of Japan, is cursed. According to Shuichi Saito, the withdrawn boyfriend of teenager Kirie Goshima, their town is haunted not by a person or being but by a pattern: uzumaki, the spiral, the hypnotic secret shape of the world. It manifests itself in everything from seashells and whirlpools in water to the spiral marks on people's bodies, the insane obsessions of Shuichi's father and the voice from the cochlea in our inner ear. As the madness spreads, the inhabitants of Kurouu-cho are pulled ever deeper into a whirlpool from which there is no return! For older teen audiences.

The Mention: This is another step down the Junji Ito rabbit hole and, thanks to an internationally released film, possibly one of his more famous concepts. This is the story of the village of Kurouzu-cho as narrated by Kirie and, unlike previously read Ito works, this is one whole story (the edition I read was the deluxe edition that collects all three mangas). The village is haunted by, cursed by even, the shape of a spiral. It starts with individual obsessions and grows chapter after chapter until it consumes the village. The story involves some stupendous body horror and a darkly Lovecraftian edge (only named as such as a simile as to be honest it is more pure Ito), which touches into cosmic horror.

stake

I have recorded this as a mention because there is a mention of vampires in passing and one chapter (that has a touch into another) that is definitely a vampire chapter, but they are small parts of the greater whole and the book itself is not a vampire story. The first mention occurs in chapter 7, entitled Jack-in-the-Bix. Mitsuru Yamaguchi is a schoolboy who loves to jump out and surprise people with a “boo”, he starts doing this to Kirie as he is attracted to her but the feelings are not reciprocated. When she refuses a present from him he, to prove his love, steps in front of a car to stop it with the power of his feelings. He is run over and dies but then haunts the poor girl after she opens the refused present (of a toy Jack-in-the-Box). Shuichi, her actual boyfriend, and she go to the cemetery to dig his corpse up (cremation has ended because of the spiral curse) and he carries a stake to hammer in his heart to prevent him coming alive – to which she responds, “I don’t think he’s a vampire”. Of course, once in the grave what would a Jack-in-the-Box do but spring out?

vampiric mothers

That was just a mention but chapter 10: Mosquitos and, in coda chapter 11: The Umbilical Cord, does contain vampires of a twisted Ito type. Mosquito sees the village plagued with mosquitos, often in spiralling columns, and they are particularly feeding on pregnant women including Kirie’s cousin Keiko. Kirie happens to be hospitalised at the time and there are attacks on patients who seem stabbed and drained of blood. Eventually Kirie faces the truth, the hospitalised pregnant women are rising from bed at night, with hand drills that they stab into patients to drink their blood, nurturing their babies (just as a female mosquito drinks blood to nurture her eggs).

The babies nourished with blood are born in the next chapter, starting with Keiko’s baby, and the mothers had taken to feeding from blood packs prior to the births. They all seem like healthy, beautiful babies. Kirie, however notices that their bellies seem to swell and manages to injure herself again prolonging her hospitalisation. The hospital starts serving a strange meaty mushroom – which she avoids – and then she discovers that the swellings under the baby clothes are cords and placentas regrowing and the “mushrooms” are from a crop of mushroom like placentas growing from where they were dropped when the babies were born. The sinister Doctor Kawamoto understands that the babies wish to return to the womb and, starting with Keiko, he opens the mother and replaces her baby but she now has to feed it and has developed a spiralled stinger where her tongue was that she can use, mosquito like, to feed. Kirie escapes the hospital and we don’t return to the symbiotic vampire mother and child. Thanks to David who got me this for Christmas.

In Hardback @ Amazon US

In Hardback @ Amazon UK

Vamps: The Complete Collection – review

Art: William Simpson

Story: Elaine Lee

First published: 2019 (collection)

Contains spoilers

The Blurb: Every nasty thought, evil impulse, or catty remark I ever choked down in my thirty-plus years has put on flesh, hopped on a Harley, and come alive in these pages...-ELAINE LEE

Meet Howler, Screech, Whipsnake, Skeeter and Mink--five dangerously alluring female vampires thundering down America's highways on Harleys, drunk on freedom and high on octane. After killing their male master, the Vamps set out on the open road in search of a new life. But Howler, their leader, is driven by a demon from her past...one that she must vanquish before she can truly enjoy the pleasure of an undead existence.

From Elaine Lee and William Simpson comes VAMPS: THE COMPLETE COLLECTION, presenting VAMPS #1-6 and the never before collected VAMPS: HOLLYWOOD & VEIN #1-6 and VAMPS: PUMPKIN TIME #1-3, along with an introduction and afterword by Elaine Lee and extensive bonus material.

The review: I looked at a more recent vampire comic project by William Simpson entitled VMT but this was his first foray (as artist) into vampire storytelling and was mentioned to me by Leila when informing me of the release of VMT. I hadn’t read Vamps but the series, which started back in 1994, is now handily available in this collection of all the series.

killing Dave

As it starts, we meet five vampire women, all turned by a vampire named Dave. Dave holds his five brides in thrall, forcing them to hunt and feed him (no sex, however, vampire males has erectile disfunction it is later suggested). The last meal they bring him consists of bikers and, whilst he is bloated and blood drunk, they attack him, quarter him (using the Harleys) and stake him, burying the parts separately. They then go on a cross-country blood-bender, though one (Howler) has unspoken ulterior motives for the direction they take.

Howler had her child forcibly taken from her and trafficked when human and she is looking for him. Not that she can take care of a child in her vampire condition. However, she is a twin and Jenny is being drawn to her sister, through feelings, dreams and visions. Jenny has hooked up with a PI named Gallagher who is looing into the death of a trucker (one of the victims).

The first lore to really mention is that quartering and staking isn’t sure fire when it comes to killing a vampire. Parts of Dave’s body are found and, as soon as the stake is pulled, he manages to get back up and at ‘em (one arm is still buried and he manages to locate it and draw it from the earth to him). Fire and sunlight seem way surer ways of disposing of the undead. Vampires have a tie to their maker and Dave uses this to try and track down the Vamps. Vampires do not cast reflections (the comic inconsistently shows clothes not appearing or appearing in the mirror, there is a moment when a Vamp forces a wraith like reflection through sheer will) or show up on film, they can be warded by any symbol the person has faith in (as it is the faith that is important).

The vampire origin in this is really interesting. There is a tale of a pregnancy where the child did not emerge after nine months, staying in the womb for at least 12 months, subsisting on his mother’s blood until he ate her from the inside out. On bursting out of his mother’s body, he latched to her sister’s neck. She pulled him off, broke his neck and drank his blood. This made a symbiotic vampire infant and mother – she drinking from victims and he drinking from her breast. Another interesting concept was a modern evolution where a victim is left to die but resuscitated and given blood by the ambulance services, essentially creating a half vampire (and suggesting it is simply blood and not vampire blood that is important). These half-vampires can spontaneously fully turn later, with strong emotion being cited as a catalyst.

Late into the series we discover there is a vampire society, one that will give new vampires 25-years to control their murder sprees and act more subtly. Fail to do so and a death sentence is announced. The comics started quite basically, with five vampire women on a murderous spree and then added in more and more nuance as the various runs went on – building character that wasn’t necessarily there to begin with. That’s not to say the opening was poor, it was great fun but the added depth (and characterisation) enables some level of longevity to the stories. Great fun, 8 out of 10.

In Paperback @ Amazon US

In Paperback @ Amazon UK

Shock Value: Legacy Anthology – review

Editors: Mark Adams & Matt Warner

First Published: 2020

Contains spoilers

The Blurb: Werewolves, Vampires, Monsters

Hellbound media presents a collection of terrifying tales that find their inspiration in the very origins of the horror genre. We look back to the stories and films that introduced the world to a coterie of classic monsters, and explore the legacy of fear they left behind. Each of the stories in the collection features a contemporary twist on the Gothic past, promising to continue the nightmares for centuries to come.

The review: Hellbound media had a stall at Grimmfest and I took advantage of the opportunity to grab a copy of this anthology. As the blurb suggests this contains a cornucopia of horror stories and deliberately puts a modern twist to the classics.

Vampires appear across the stories (perhaps in a newspaper article or sat with the other classic monsters – in the epilogue) but there are three specific stories I want to mention. Bloodsucking Teenage Biker Mummy has a vengeful Aztec mummy awoken and seeking to recover the powerful jaguar totem that has been stolen – and, of course, she sucks blood.

detail

The story Demeter follows a trawler who are looking to catch fish as a cover for the human trafficking they are participating in. The fish they capture is of an unknown species and the crew start to succumb to strange hallucinations. The name of the boat is, of course, named for Dracula and the novel is quoted at the end, the vampires… well they would seem to be more the crew whose criminal activity is morally vampiric in nature.

The story Youth is our most directly vampire related story and sees a vampire community suffering, for the first time, from a communicable disease that is ripping through their society like wildfire. The disease causes the vampires to change their age but the clock is running backwards and the vampires regressing to babies and beyond. They actively seek out old people to turn as they may have more time in the search for the cure.

Hopefully, you’ll see from these descriptions that the collection takes a unique perspective through its tales and, especially as an indie graphic novel, is certainly deserves support. 7 out of 10. The comic's homepage is here.

Impakto – review

Director: Don Escudero

Release date: 1996

Contains spoilers

A return to Philippine cinema with Impakto. The film is actually about a tiyanak, which Bane describes thusly: “This vampiric demon from the Philippines is the offspring between a woman and a demon, but it can also come into being when a child dies without having been baptized.” Impakto translate roughly to evil spirit but, as per the subtitles, it is used here as ‘monster; and, indeed, the central threat is physical and not a spirit. Normally aswang is used as the overriding classification of monster (as well as being a creature type in its own right).

The film starts with a woman (we discover later the nanny) running through the grounds of a large, Gothic looking house. She is screaming and is chased by something, in pov, but when she gets to the large gates they are locked and the attacker reaches her.

Gelli De Belen as Doray

Rhodora, known as Doray (Gelli De Belen) arrives at the house in daylight and sees the mistress of the house, the stern looking Salve (Daria Ramirez), looking down at her. She is interviewed by Dr Sagrado (Ernie Zarate, Shake Rattle and Roll 9 & Vampira) who seems concerned that she appears rather young for the nanny position, but she is licensed and comes from a family of nannies and so he offers the job as nanny for his son Junjun (she does misidentify him as the grandfather). There are rules, however…

prepared bottles

As his wife is infirm, Doray will care for the son who will sleep most the day but, when he cries, she will feed him with pre-prepared bottles. She will not leave the room he is in (and certainly not take him outside as he is susceptible to infection and develops rashes in the sun) but she must not stay in the nursery after 6PM, even if Salve has not relieved her and even if Junjun is crying. The other staff are Hermie (Antonio Aquitania), a young gardener and he and Doray are attracted to each other, and Melba (Candy Pangilinan) who is a cook but she wanted the nanny position (its better paid) and is loud and nasty.

bitten by Junjun

Doray is told off on her first shift as it is getting to six and she hasn’t left the nursery. Then, when the parents go out for the day (to take body parts into the forest), she takes Junjun outside and bumps into Hermie’s mother, who won’t come close as he is impakto and we see his face become monstrous and he bites Doray, leaving a nasty bite mark and leading to a dream later of the wound rotting, which is prescient and she needs the wound healing with holy water. The film does not attempt to pretend Junjun is anything but what he is. Doray questions why some of the bottles for the infant are red and is told they contain medicine, but we know it is likely blood. The Doctor is feeding patients to his son and one does wonder why they have staff who are clearly going to realise.

Daria Ramirez as Salve

It was the explanation for the tiyanak that, within its convoluted logic, lost me – simply because it is preachy and very Catholic. The Doctor, it seems, made his money conducting abortions but to appease God forced his son, Anton (Mike Austria), to become a priest. On a return home, Anton met his mother’s maid Noemi (Cherry Pie Picache). She became pregnant and the Doctor forced her to have an abortion due to the scandal of it – then she was sent from the house. Salve saw the foetus move once removed and took it to the forest to bury it but passed out when it opened its eyes.

wounded

Anton left the priesthood but could not find Noemi or the baby and killed himself but Salve was suddenly pregnant and gave birth to Junjun. So there is a plethora of Catholic proscribed sins going on; abortion, suicide and a priest breaching his celibacy. Indeed the blooming forest area where the foetuses have been buried is actually teeming with tiyanaks and they attack the Doc when he goes to dispose of a body at night, leaving him scratched and battered. The climax of the film occurs when a couple come for an abortion.

melting in sunlight

I get that the Philippines is a Roman Catholic majority country and therefore the storyline would fit into the culture but, from a non-Christian perspective it became ultra-preachy probably because they threw a kitchen sink of sins at it. The tiyanaks can therefore be dealt with via Catholic trappings (crucifix and holy water) and sunlight – the sunlight causes them to melt (though it just caused Junjun to be bitey earlier). There is an assurance that they are angels who have been mistreated and so being reunited with their mother allows the tiyanak to break the cycle and go to heaven. Getting a priest to bless a foetus mass-grave helps also.

Tiyanak

This was ok. The preachiness annoyed me, but others may take that in their stride. The tiyanak can kill and so there is a threat (it also moves like greased lightning apparently). It isn’t the greatest horror film in the world but if you are a part of that culture I’m sure it hits harder than it hit me. The tiyanak puppet was effective for its time but looks a little cheesy nowadays – suspend disbelief before going in. 5 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

Curado de Espantos – review

Directors: Adolfo Martínez Solares & Gilberto Martínez Solares

Release date: 1992

Contains spoilers

This is a fichera, or Mexican sex comedy, which gives it a degree of bedroom farce but the sex element is not gratuitous or overstated, though it may be wildly inappropriate. In fact, one might think around the British Carry On films – see little but have hinted at sex and sexual commentary. I have to admit that, whilst watching it, it felt more 80s than 90s.

aged Dracula

It starts with a vampire, later discovered to be Dracula (Roberto 'Flaco' Guzmán), though also revealed later to be of Jewish heritage, chasing after a young woman, Chenaria. He is really quite old (in aged makeup) and is accused of being a lustful old man. He chases her into a building and up some stairs. Chenaria ends up trapped at the top of the stairs and starts beating him with a stick and then throws him down the stairwell.

green energy

We see an ambulance going through the city and then, in a hospital, a couple of doctors and a nurse start to examine the old man. The thermometer in his mouth goes from shooting mercury out of the end to registering no heat and the blood pressure monitor explodes. They hurriedly leave the room. Whilst they're out, we see green tendrils of energy come to him (this is also seen at the end when he dies – which isn’t really a spoiler – and is not explained). The nurse comes back in to try and attach a line to him and he grabs her and bites – once he has drunk some blood he looks younger. He then flies home (still in human form) but his servant Igor (José René Ruiz) has closed the window, because he is cold, and Dracula crashes through it. In their exchange we discover he is 1500 years old.

spell casting

A voice over by Magdalena Santos (Lina Santos) then seeks to explain why there is a vampire in Mexico City. She is an archaeologist and is due to go on a dig with professors from the university – quickly putting them in their place when there is commentary about her looks stating that she is there to work not socialise. We then cut to the self-styled exorcist Hippocrates (Alfonso Zayas) who is trying to cast a spell (made up of quite silly nonsense words) over a shrunken head. His sidekick Jacinto (Alfonso Zayas) is making noise and distracting him so he uses the same nonsense words and turns him into a toad.

looking like a mummy

We go to the excavation (allegedly beneath a pyramid but looking like a cave) and Magdalena choses a place to excavate a wall that the professor worries over. However, it is hollow behind the stone and they manage to get into a hidden chamber that is empty bar a coffin with a bat-winged skull motif (we saw it as Dracula’s coffin earlier). They open it and there is a skeletal corpse, wrapped in bandages with a cross in its chest – which Magdalena removes (it is a blade at the bottom). We see the face reform as they look elsewhere. Magdalena finds an Aztec picture depicting someone being stabbed in the chest and then tells a story based on it of the Aztecs killing a man who was murdering women – no explanation there regarding the crucifix, of course. Meanwhile we have seen the corpse reform (in a not bad effect for the time), get up – looking for the world like a moustachioed mummy with fangs – and then kill the two workers and the professor. He comes towards Magdalena who holds up the cross and escapes.

Dracula with brides

Back in Mexico City no one (her audience being just a doctor and a cop) believes her about a vampire, though they do return to the cave – but the wall is solid and the chamber now gone. Magdalena is committed to the hospital as delusional (and possibly homicidal) and has to pretend she's mad to be 'cured' and then released. She starts looking for the vampire, enlisting the help of the exorcists. Meanwhile Dracula now owns a nightclub where, if he fancies a woman, he has bouncers eject the man with her and swoops in, controlling the woman with eye mojo and then feeding and creating a vampire bride. That is until he sees Magdalena again and decides he wishes her to be his actual bride – we get the idea of biting three times to turn with this, lifted from Love at First Bite.

becoming more vamp

I mentioned some inappropriate moments. The sex comedy side was fairly tame with the two exorcists horny, misogynistic and happy to spy on Magdalena in the bath. That said there is one scene with a client, a young woman, coming for help because the man she loves doesn’t even notice her. Hippocrates has her strip to her underwear (for the spell to work) anoints her with oil (that seems to control her), turns Jacinto into a toad again (to get him out of the way) and proceeds to get it on (because, the oil). It felt of an age and it felt like coercion. The worst ‘joke’ was when Dracula is in Magdalena’s house (which she has invited him into, doubling his powers a variant of the Lost Boys lore) and a cross is held up by Jacinto. Despite it working earlier in the film, Dracula is unaffected because he is Jewish. Therefore, Jacinto holds up a swastika (not a Star of David) and that repels him. I don’t have words for how inexcusably offensive that felt.

fire from sun exposure

Inappropriate moments aside this was mostly not too bad. That said it wasn’t a great film – I mentioned Carry On films at the head and, truthfully, though dated I can watch them all day but that doesn’t make them great films (with the exception of Carry on Screaming) just really entertaining, watchable movies that I grew up with. I wouldn’t score them really high and I won’t with this. 3 out of 10 is despite the absolutely awful moment I have mentioned.

The imdb page is here.

On DVD @ Amazon US – warning, no English sub or dub

On DVD @ Amazon UK – warning, no English sub or dub

Short Film: Teething

I think that the thing I liked the most about this 9-minute short by Glen Matthews, released in 2020, is the fact that they managed to get over the fact that main character John (Hugh Thompson, Chapelwaite) has some form of neurological disorder without saying so in dialogue. It is projected in his motor-function skills and frustrated reactions and it is all power to Hugh Thompson’s performance.

As the piece starts, we see him pull his car up and get out, drawing his jacket from the back seat. He enters the hospital he works in and nurse Mary (Ayesha Mansur Gonsalves, Hemlock Grove) starts speaking to him.

Hugh Thompson as John

He doesn’t respond, concentrating as he is on punching a code into a keypad, she speaks about her frustration with her ward, Bethany, and her crying – though she realises that she is teething. The film then, for a short while, follows John and between the direction by Matthews and the performance we are shown a picture of the man and it is lovely film work. At the same time we do see Mary walking the halls carrying the swaddled baby.

the vampire

John is drawn to the nursery as the baby’s cries begin again. He does shout for Mary but, concerned, turns on the light and we see what had been a dark shape revealed to be a creature, fanged and clearly having fed on Bethany, blinking in the bright light… What will happen with the creature, could a baby survive and where is Mary… all points are answered in the very worthwhile short film.

The imdb page is here.

Little Vampire – review

Director: Joann Sfar

Release date: 2020

Contains spoilers

Based on the French series of books, Petit Vampire, by Joann Sfar, I’m not sure that there is a connection with the Angela Sommer-Bodenburg series despite having seen at least one critic positively connect them. Whilst the premise of a child vampire finding a mortal friend is the same, the whole aesthetic is completely different. My understanding is there is also a long running animated series as well as this film.

about to be sacrificed

The film begins with Pandora (Camille Cottin), along with her son (Louise Lacoste), pursued by a Prince (Alex Lutz) as he intends to marry her – a fate she does not wish to consider. Rejected, he decides to sacrifice them both to the God of the Depths and is throwing them into an exposed pit when Pandora offers her life to anyone who can rescue her.

newly turned

Her call is answered by Les Capitaine des Morts (Jean-Paul Rouve), a skull faced pirate, with a giant hat, in a flying galleon. The pair are rescued but, on being rescued by the living dead they are turned into vampires – Pandora gaining fangs and a greyed complexion, where Little Vampire (as he is named throughout), takes on perhaps more of an Orlock visage. Neither seem too upset at becoming vampires, although later Pandora states that one can only be turned if they have a broken heart.

settled at the mansion

As for the Prince, he is grabbed by the God of the Depths and swallowed in order that he might be transformed into a crescent moon headed creature called the Gibbous, in order that he might get his vengeance on the Capitaine and Pandora. The credits then show the Gibbous chasing them around the globe over the intervening centuries until, eventually, they stop at a mansion that the Capitaine cloaks in a magical barrier that will hide them from their enemies (Pandora does ask why he didn’t do this centuries before).

the vampire and friends

It is here that the story proper starts – with Little Vampire apparently suffering amnesia (not only does he not remember how he became a vampire, but seems to have forgotten the centuries of being pursued and by whom). He lives with monsters (and his demonic dog Phantomato (Quentin Faure) who serves the purpose of being a snarky Jiminy Cricket), whose highlight seems to be watching a weekly horror movie. Little Vampire is bored and wants to go to school and, sneaking off, begins a friendship – by correspondence in a school book, at first – with orphan Michel (Claire de la Rüe du Can).

Gibbous and Michel

Meanwhile Gibbous is still out there, with a habit of turning people into bugs called kawai that serve as his eyes and ears, as well as his galleon crew, but also serve as a resource to torture and kill when he gets angry. Gibbous still wants his vengeance (or for Pandora to marry him – either will do as a solution). Clearly Little Vampire will end up in peril after breaking the rules and leaving the protective barrier.

Nosferatu poster

This was an odd beast. Take the animation; gorgeously detailed backdrops meet very basic, clean animated characters that, for the most part, worked really well. The story had its odd moments (such as the apparent amnesia that is never mentioned), its surreal moments in the characters themselves and yet followed an overall plot that was quite obvious and by the numbers – though as this is a children’s animation that was understandable. It had the opportunity to be rather dark and yet managed (despite the subject matter) to keep things light. It perhaps doesn’t have the underlying elements that would make this as attractive to adults as it might have been – however, it should work for the kids 6 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

On DVD @ Amazon US

On DVD @ Amazon UK

Honourable Mention: 60 Seconds to Live

From the same stable as the 60 Seconds to Die films and I called the first one of those “an absolute smorgasbord of quality.” Going on to suggest that, “The art of the short is not easy, to be able to cram an interesting story within a tiny timeframe, to offer narrative, plot, character and twist against the clock (and do so with filmmaking panache) is difficult in the extreme. To cut this time down to 60 seconds increases that challenge, making the short absolutely reliant on trope, stereotype and often cliché.” This all stands for this film too, but there are four films within that grab our attention – two definitely vampire films, two perhaps…

the reveal

In Savior, a woman (Christina Raney) gets out of her car, which has broken down. She spots a group of zombies chowing on a victim and runs – they see her and follow. She falls and a man (Moses Weathers) comes to her rescue, He kicks the zombies’ asses and she goes to him, her saviour. His fangs then show that he is no saviour – it is to the point but works well enough.

Brandy Brown as a vampire

In Raising Stakes we begin with a churchyard and then two men (the older Bill Mulligan and the younger Justin Cole) enter a crypt and open the coffin of a 300-year-old vampire (Brandy Brown). The older, the hunter, tells the younger, the assistant, to hold the stake over her chest but he complains. He is always the one holding the stake… the hunter agrees and offers the assistant a turn with the mallet but the vampire is no longer in her coffin… The banter between the two men worked well in this, making it a better moment in the overall film.

vampiric infant

Comfort Him was one that uses tropes, at least. A father (Hasse Brontén) can hear his baby on a monitor. He goes and picks the child up and hears his wife (Sofie Klaesson) come home and say *they* are back… They? She is carrying the baby and, as he looks down, the infant he holds develops sharp teeth and bites his neck. The bite and cgi blood are some of the worst I have seen and I get they probably didn’t want to use practical effects round the baby but even so.

fangs and a grin

Finally there is Dark Metamorphosis where a fanged man (David Black) lurks around a tree where a woman in white, Shekhinah (Simay Argento), dances. He gives her an orb and it is clear that he seduces her, she vanishes round the tree and, when she reappears, suddenly has black hair and black clothing. That’s all there is to it and the man looked like a vampire but he is credited as Lucifer and so may have been a devil.

And that, as they say, is that – four fleeting visitations. Two definitely vampires, two maybe. The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Amazon UK