Honourable Mention: Jim Haggerty's Unnatural Causes

A 2025 portmanteau film directed by Jim Haggerty, there are three stories here and, whilst arguably, there might be a revenant in one of the segments, the reason for the mention is the wraparound and that is both a fleeting visitation of someone who may be acting as a vampire, rather than being one.

The film starts with a news report of the death of a minor celebrity. Vlad Eterno (Baron Misuraca, 60 Seconds to Die & Seymour the Unfortunate Vampire) was an actor in low budget horror films, whose films veered towards the really poor eventually, but he was due a comeback by making a TV series for the same channel the news is on. The newscaster reports Eterno’s alleged age as 300-years-old.

out of the coffin

A couple of Goth women are let into the funeral home to see the body before the family get there. They discuss how he was meant to be a vampire – so with the mythology of being 300 and a vampire, likely acting as a vampire. They give him a rose and he awakens, gets out of the coffin and gives them a film tin with the first three episodes of the series Unnatural Causes (our segments obviously) and tasks them to get them seen. He then leaves; getting into a black Cadillac, which then drives off and vanishes – so perhaps there was some truth to his supernatural claims? Maybe it was a publicity stunt? But, from our point of view, that’s it; bar his intro segments to each short film, a fleeting visitation.

The imdb page is here.

Vampire Club – review

Director: Dennis Devine

Release date: 2013

Contains spoilers

Back with the video vampires of Dennis Devine and the director’s efforts haven’t found much favour in my reviews so far. So, let’s see how this fares.

It starts with a woman, Vicky (Veronica Ricci, Arise of the Snake Women & Fangs Out) strutting down the street. She arrives at a house and meets Ali (Tracy Carr). Ali has fangs and soon bites Vicky but not before suggesting she should join “the club” and makes her drink her blood after the bite. She needs a second draught of vampire blood to fully turn (and it is suggested that not drinking vampire blood at all would have resulted in her death), but Ali needs to feed first.

stomach stake

She heads out and spots Amanda (Krystal Ellsworth) and is about to attack when Amanda uses her name. Confused, she asks how she knows her, which is the opportunity Amanda needs to stake her – avenging her brother and sister. Her hunting partner Lance (Dylan Vox, the Lair, Scab, Brides of Sodom & Vampire Boys) arrives and takes her head with a sword. Now, the beheading looked good – even if the head was obviously a prop – as did the staking (at least on the surface). However, the stake was clearly in the stomach. Now, whilst the stomach might be folklorically accurate (to pin the corpse to the grave), this wasn’t what they were going for and was slapdash.

Marlene Mc'Cohen as Dorothy

Vampire Master Dorothy (Marlene Mc'Cohen, Vampire Boys 2: The New Brood, Fangs Out: Blood Apocalypse & also Fangs Out and Vampire Boys), with vampires Piper (Harmony Smith, also Fangs Out: Blood Apocalypse) and Stephanie (Ginny You, also Fangs Out: Blood Apocalypse), finds Ali. Piper decides it is time to move on, but the hunters read newspapers to track their progress. As things develop, the vampires get jobs as dancers (of the go-go variety) but Piper is out of control and her devouring of a stag at the club leads to his sister joining the hunters. Vicky, in the meantime, is drawn to the vampires to get the second draught of vampire blood (the spirit of Ali apparently speaking to her).

double bite

There isn’t much more of a story. The strip club has an outside establishing shot but seems to be just any old office location converted into a makeshift stage and back rooms. The lore is confused in terms of crosses not working (though the hunters seem to think they do) but holy water burning – the film makes no attempt to explain the reasoning. Sunlight is mentioned as the hunters’ friend, but is not utilised in film. The story is simplistic, the characters under-developed. Plot-wise Veronica Ricci is underutilised, she is used for sexploitation reasons (and the only actress who is filmed nude) but for the plot, she is little more than a catalyst and could have been missed altogether. Straight to video, this is a low-end film I’m afraid. 3 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

Resurrection Road – review

Director: Ashley Cahill

Release date: 2025

Contains spoilers

Combining vampires and the American Civil War has been done before but it is a great setting and this could have been a good budget film bar a glaring CGI issue (though, to be fair, it looked like a lot of practical effects around blood and gunfire). In this we take our point of view from Union soldiers, and the vampires are Confederates. What makes this more interesting was that it focused on African American Union soldiers.

Malcolm Goodwin as Barabas

It starts, however, in a dream – or nightmare – as main character Barabas (Malcolm Goodwin, True Blood) relives a moment with his pregnant wife, when they were both slaves, being intercepted by slave owner Quantrill (Michael Madsen) who punishes them both by whipping her, though Barabas begs to be the one punished. He is later told that she and the unborn baby died. He wakes in a cell. Now, a point around this. Barabas is by far the most rounded character, with much back story, but, for some reason, why the (now) Union soldier ended up in the stockade is so glossed over as to be missing, which was frustrating.

the squad

Nevertheless, he is taken from the cell to see the commanding officers and there General Craven (Jeff Daniel Phillips, Son of Darkness: To Die For II, Freaks of Nature & The Munsters) gives him two options; on the one hand he could take a squad to a heavily fortified Confederate fort with giant cannons and destroy it – a suicide mission but he’d get a pardon and forty acres and a mule if they succeed and survive – and on the other, be executed. The General, incidentally, came over just as racist as the Confederates we meet later.

Triana Browne as Tsula

Given the Hobson’s Choice, and with the warning that if he or any of his men ran they’d be hunted down, he takes his squad out. The squad consists of Abe (Bryan Taronn Jones), Washington (Okea Eme-Akwari), Cuffy (Furly Mac), Stevens (Randall J. Bacon, Don’t Suck) and Blunt (Davonte Burse). None of the squad are particularly built up as characters, though Eme-Akwari admirably builds up Washington through sheer charisma, indeed some of the characters are simply disposable. They reach a homestead, first of all, that seems to be the subject of a massacre, with only a Native American, Tsula (Triana Browne), who had come to trade, and a Black woman (presumably a slave) surviving. The only help Barabas gives is to point them to their lines and give them a pistol. The Black woman warns them of the woods, says to stay indoors at night (an odd suggestion in the wilderness) and watch the trees. Tsula will end up with the squad later.

enemy captured

They next come across a Confederate patrol. They capture one, are captured in turn and Barabas is able to save Cuffy from a lynching – during which they manage to kill the confederates. Or do they? Sharp-eyed viewers will have noted that one of them, when we first met him, with having a pee and his urine was red. The characters believe them dead, at least, but the altercation has seen Stevens killed and Blunt blinded – and so Barabas shoots him (presumably as a mercy as they would have to leave him, but more so underlining the grim determination he has to get the job done and get his reward). Eventually they reach the fort but they are seriously low on numbers having lost another man to “something” in the trees. It is here that the film lost me.

the fort.... or castle

We see the fort, and it looks like a stone, European style castle (and clearly just an image). The practical set looks like a wooden fort recreation they shot in. There are wooden fences to scale, rather than stone walls, There is a lot of over-lit/exposed photography to try to hide the joins shots to disguise that they weren’t filming in a castle and then we are in a wood-built area and the transition jolts. The guns are huge, but clearly mock ups and they had no real texture to them. It is bad CGI (with some physical modelling it appears, for up close moments as dynamite is laid). The fort also has a rock crypt with coffins…

stake

Because, yes, vampires and you can bet your bottom dollar than slave owner Quantrill is involved because firstly that gives Barabas more motivation but mostly because if you’ve paid for Michael Madsen (this was one of his last films before he sadly passed) you may as well get your money's worth. Tsula suggests that they are nostradu, evil spirits that came on the boats with the white man and whose totem is the bat. They must hunt by night and drink blood. They prefer the name Nosferatu, they are weakened by the sun, must be killed by a stake to the heart (wooden it seems, as a blade fails), do not reflect and can become bats and mist (it seems). Tsula has found a flower, she described as an Eastern Rosebud – which wouldn't be the native name – and Abe said came from a Judas Tree, its vernacular name. Tsula recognises it as a plant that can ward off evil and later uses it to stop someone who is bitten from turning (as it is a one bite turns film).

Michael Madsen as Quantrill

Despite the best efforts of Malcolm Goodwin and Okea Eme-Akwari, despite decent wilderness locations and despite some decent practical effects, I couldn’t get past the cgi and locational mishmash. I was jarred from the film. It wasn’t perfect in other respects – paper thin characters (bar Barabas), a missed opportunity with the "at night in the woods" section, as it could have been used to really build a tension but just didn’t, but these things I could have forgiven as the good outweighed the bad – until they got to the fort. 4 out of 10 actually feels generous given how much the main issue smashed suspension of belief. A shame.

The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Amazon UK

Blood Vengeance – review

Author: EH Drake

First Published: 2025

Contains spoilers

The blurb: The Blood Herring Chronicles end here.

Gabe and Lily are trapped, held captive by the very justice they once served. But with the vampire lord, Elias, unleashing his army on Portland, a city collapsing into ruin, they can't afford to wait. The only way to save humanity is to break free. The only way to fight is to risk everything.

Two renegades. One impossible war. Can they stand against a rising tide of blood and ruin?

The review: The third in the series (my reviews are here for Book 1 and Book 2) and the city of Portland has gone to Hell, with the terrorist vampire Elias periodically releasing his child vampire warriors and hordes of the starved – people turned and then starved until they loose all sense and becoming zompire like ravening hordes.

The protagonists, Lily and Gabe are both under arrest – him by human authorities and under house arrest as he is tried, his case reliant on convincing a judge and jury that he was turned against his will and that, as such, he should not warrant extermination. She with the vampire’s Royal Court, suspected of being in league with Elias – not helped by the fact that he was her husband and his right hand henchman is none other than her brother.

This gears itself nicely as an action facing volume, safe in the knowledge that the protagonist characters have been neatly rounded in the preceding volumes. Both characters end up in and out of custody – Gabe is a bit of a boy scout and Elias relies on him handing himself back in as there is an expectation that he’ll lose his case to aid his cause. Lily becomes convinced there is a traitor in the court. The book roles along at a pace – switching between Lily and Gabe’s POV as per the other volumes – climaxing in a vampiric assault on a prison. A fast, punchy end to the series. 7.5 out of 10.

In Paperback @ Amazon US

In Paperback @ Amazon UK

Vamp or Not? The Home

I was contacted by Simon Bacon regarding James DeMonaco’s 2025 feature, saying that it was “defo vampy” though warning it was medical rather than supernatural. Well then, let’s see.

The film starts with Max (played older by Pete Davidson, and young in flashbacks by Jagger Nelson) led coughing on a couch, in a run down apartment, the TV talking about climate change – there is an aspect of eco-horror to this but it is generally under-explored. A flashback shows a celebration in his foster home as his foster-brother Luke (Matthew Miniero) prepares to leave for college.

Max's Mural

There is a theme of “thicker than blood” to describe their foster relationship and Max has that tattooed on his chest. Adult Max is artistically talented and breaks into a derelict building to paint an eco-awareness mural. He is arrested and, in the cell, remembers the time when he was told by his foster parents (Jessica Hecht & Victor Williams) that Luke had committed suicide at college. His foster father comes to him and says that he had a word with a judge and cut a deal to have Max avoid jail time (a little harsh for painting a mural, one feels) for community service. He is to work four months at a retirement home.

Pete Davidson as Max

He gets there and is told what his job involves and to not go to the fourth floor as special care patients are up there. Yet, from the beginning, things seem off. He stumbles onto geriatric, masked sex, discovers he can’t really sleep and hears screaming through the vents. He quickly investigates the fourth floor and is attacked by a screaming man (Stuart Rudin, Stake Land), leading to him being caught and reprimanded. But things keep getting odder and he begins to unearth a government conspiracy…

Luke aged

And here we have the spoiler alert as I need to drill into the aspects of “Vamp or Not?” There is a conspiracy, but not the fabricated one the residents draw to entertain themselves at Max’s expense. The residents are worshippers of Dea – called in film the God of Youth but Dea was simply Goddess in Latin. His foster parents are in on it and send foster children to the home to be used as a source of vitality for the residents and certain staff. The screaming man is Luke, aged beyond recognition and he was trying to save Max, not attack him.

procedure

The idea is that the home’s doctor, Sabian (Bruce Altman), discovered a gland behind the right eye, which is the source of a person’s youth and vitality and dries up with age. He is draining the gland of its “nectar” by piercing the eye, pushing through to the gland, and the residents subsequently drink it. Max has been drained nightly – hence believing he isn’t sleeping – but at a ceremony they intend to take much more. They say he will end up feeling 100-years-old and, as we have seen with the other fourth floor residents, draining the nectar prematurely ages them. For the recipients it staves off aging further and increases their libidos.

Max and Lou

I guess we could liken the victims, in this case, to the undead. Aged beyond recognition, sat in a half-life that is no life at all, perhaps embodiments (Luke is at least) of undead memory. The vampirism is very similar to that displayed in Brand Upon the Brain! (which called the extracted fluid nectar, also) and The Leech Woman - though this is the product of a gland, like the Leech Woman, rather than the brain itself, which was the case in Brand. Very much Vamp, this did carry me along for the journey.

The imdb page is here.

On Blu-Ray @ Amazon US

On Blu-Ray @ Amazon UK

Love Wants Us Dead – Review

Director: Israel Perez

Release date: 2025

Contains spoilers

Love Wants Us Dead is most definitely both an arthouse film and a slow burn and, as such, it may put many a viewer off. However, it is skilfully photographed and director Israel Perez manages to keep the viewer engaged, though little happens. Also, with a 65 minute running time it really doesn’t outstay its welcome.

We start in a car with Anais (Wendy Zhuo) – note I have got the character names from IMDb, the characters are not named in film. She eventually stops to retrieve a bag and then walk to a derelict building and film on a hand-cam. We see that, at one point, she films a chicken dead and strung from above. Eventually she goes back towards the car. There is someone by it (though who that is does not get answered but feels important as the photography is very purposefully chosen, or so it feels like).

in the store

Elsewhere Rose (Lindy Jones) is getting ready to work in the plumbing supply store. Her boss, Pablo (Pablo Santiago) – by process of elimination from the cast list and apologies if I got that wrong – reads a news story about a dismembered body being found out in the desert. As we get to know her, we realise that she cares for an older man, her father we assume, and has a love of film – we see her reading Maya Deren’s Film & Philosophy, which offers a view, I think, into what Israel Perez is looking to do with the film

Wendy Zhuo as Anais

We also see Anais showering, with blood swirling round the plug hole, and searching through a wallet. Rose becomes aware of her when she sees her with Pablo – Anais has rented some back rooms off him. Rose snoops into the rooms, not finding the small fridge that we have seen Anais put some jars of, what looks like, blood into. They eventually meet when Rose spots Anais broken down on the highway and offers her a lift home. Anais invites her in to watch her films, which Rose enjoys and Anais says are about capturing time.

a threshold

Pablo has given Steve (Kent Hatch) a tin box (we never see what’s in it) and a gun. Steve is expressly told to leave them alone after commenting that *she* “is cute” and “has not changed a bit”, indicating that Anais is out of time. Rose clearly works out what she is, and we also get the concept of the threshold – a place where reality thins and that Anais calls home. It brought to mind Jean Rollin, and especially the threshold within the Nude Vampire, represented by a stage, which led to the “vampires’” dimension. Thresholds are, of course, an important trope in the genre.

bloodied

But what to say – expect no easy answers, or answers at all. This is a meditation on film, time and its mutability. It is a film, I believe, which will become used within some academic writing, especially where film study, form and thresholds are explored. It is a film that works outside traditional narrative and is carried by skilful photography and nuance. 7 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

Bleeding – review

Director: Andrew Bell

Release date: 2024

Contains spoilers

I saw this at Grimmfest 2024 and offered a First Impression last year. Now it’s made its way to streaming I felt it was time to turn a reviewing eye to it.

Bleeding is, without doubt, a film about drugs and the opioid crisis in the States. The opening intertitle states, “BLOOD is a deadly and addictive opioid, harvested from the fluids of infected persons. Since its introduction, drug related deaths have increased over 400% in 15-19 year old demographics. DUST, a euphoria-producing stimulant, is believed to be a derivative.

“If you witness an overdose, do not engage. Infection and reanimation are imminent.”

cooking the  blood

This, of course, sets the basic premise well and we are in a world where there is a cross between science (it is stated that countries such as Canada are treating the phenomena as a disease and searching for a cure) and the supernatural (infection reanimates the dead). It is also not the first vehicle to introduce vampires as the drug – be it the blood itself or their ashes.

John R. Howley as Eric

The opening sees a drug producer who has kept a vampire locked down and is harvesting their blood. A user (we assume) has broken in but is overpowered and left for dead – the spilt blood retrieved as much as possible. Cooking it on a stove is not, we discover later, the way that dust is commonly made. Elsewhere Eric (John R. Howley) climbs out of a house window. He is chased by the owner. Eric has a habit of breaking and entering, but he doesn’t take anything.

    Jasper Jones as Sean

Getting home he smokes some drugs and then finds his mother zonked out – she heavily uses a prescription drug later described as suicide pills and the inference is it is due to the fact that Eric’s older brother, Markus (Josh Krol), overdosed on blood and turned and was then terminated. Eric helps himself to some of her prescription pills (he later trades them for marijuana). He then leaves and goes to visit his cousin Sean (Jasper Jones).

reaction to sunlight

Before he sees Sean, he has to get past his Uncle Hank (Jay Dunn). Hank is a cop and his drug of choice is alcohol; he is already drinking despite the early hour. He shows Eric bodycam footage of a raid on a vampire, and we see the reaction to sunlight. It is inferred that Hank’s drinking is due to the pressures of the job – not least as it is inferred later that Hank was the cop who terminated the turning Markus.

scattering the dust

Upstairs Sean has snorted dust and we see his reaction. Eric wants to buy pot but is told not to smoke it in the room – he ignores this and Hank smells it and heads upstairs. Sean tries to hide the big pack of dust he has but Hank finds it and scatters the drug to the wind, causing an angry reaction, a smashed window and the lads running off. Sean got the drug from Dustin (Andrew Bell) and owes him a couple of grand for it and so they head for a holiday lake house to lay low but discover it has a vampire held in there. Sean stabs her neck and drinks from the source, almost overdosing, and Eric recognises her as Sara (Tori Wong) and, saying her name, reaches her and discovers the turned are not the senseless monsters supposed.

Sara in vamp mode

It is worth noting that Sara prevents Sean from turning as his body needs vitamin D to fight the infection and this ties, of course, with the reaction to sunlight once turned. We discover that she was a runaway, made vulnerable by using drugs and deliberately injected to cause an overdose and make her a source of blood. We also discover that, when a vampire is dry (all their blood has been harvested and not replenished) they will set them alight and that is how dust is made.

feeding

All the characters in this are (at the very least) flawed in one way or another, many are addicted (though some are addicted to legal substances). The vampire is both addicted to human blood and is the font of the drugs the human addicts are using. The drug messaging is pretty on the nose but works for that. The primary performances are excellent, special mention to John R. Howley who holds the film together. The photography is pretty dark and bleak but that fits a story that is dark and bleak. There isn’t a feel-good aspect to this film, it treads through the dark underbelly of society with deliberate purpose. Not a good time, but a good film. 7 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Amazon UK

Short Film: Midnight

A UK Short film, directed by A.R. Ugas, this was released in 2020 and is around 11 minutes long. The film starts with Roxanne (Adaya Monique Henry) and John (Ben Thorne) sat in their living room opposite a man (André Mathias). The man speaks in French, Roxanne understands John does not.

André Mathias as the man

The man says that she, referring to Daughter Sally, will not be the same afterwards and Roxanne admits that John does not know what is proposed. Eventually John looses his temper and demands to know if the man will help their daughter. The man explains to Roxanne that he will go in her room, they will hear screams and cries but they must not enter…

harvest

Six months later and John has been filling a jar with his blood, using a hypodermic. Roxanne suggests that it isn’t nearly enough, but he has a 12-hour shift and needs to be with it. He has mentioned that the guys at work are beginning to think he is a junky. Eventually Roxanne says to take Sally the blood, and she’ll top up later. On the way to work he gets a call, laying him off and, whilst we only hear his side of the conversation, it is clear that he is accused of drug use as he says he is prepared to take a test. However, back at home, could Roxanne be doing something he is unaware of to get more blood…

Roxanne and John

This is a neat short, there is a moment of social commentary that I won’t spoil but in the main it explores relationships and the lengths we might go to for the ones we love. I saw the film on YouTube but it has been since set to private.

The imdb page is here. 

Miles Morales: Spider-Man By Cody Ziglar Vol. 6 - Webs Of Wakanda

Author: Cody Ziglar

Art: Daniele Di Nicuolo

First published: 2025 (TPB)

Contains spoilers

The Blurb: Collects Miles Morales: Spider-Man (2022) #27-29 and material from Miles Morales: Spider-Man Annual (2024) #1 and Miles Morales: Spider-Man (2022) #25.

Miles Morales is a vampire, and the Black Panther may be his only hope! Spider-Man has a new vibranium suit, but does Miles have what it takes to pass T'Challa's gruelling tests in faraway Wakanda?! Deep in the wilds of Africa, a ritual to save Miles' life begins, and the panther god Bast can no longer help him! Two more deities invade Miles' desperate trial, hungering for Spider-Man's corrupted soul - but only one of their chosen champions will be saved. Can Spider-Man hope to defeat the Black Panther at the height of his powers in the heart of his homeland?! And who is web-slinging around New York City masquerading as Spidey in Miles' absence?! Plus: A Morales family vacation to Puerto Rico uncovers secrets that could turn Miles' life upside down!

The review: The Spider-Man aftermath of the Blood Hunt event concludes in this graphic that follows directly on from Volume 5 (obviously) with Black Panther taking Morales to Wakanda to try and plead Bast’s help to cure the hero of vampirism. Interspersed are moments from back home as Shift takes Morales form to cover for him at school and on the streets.

That there was more aftermath from the event within this story arc was welcome and the spiritual battle was interesting – with Anansi impinging on Bast’s territory to claim Spider-Man as his herald. Nevertheless, the outcome never felt in doubt and it was interesting without suspense. The end of the volume contains the Puerto Rico story mentioned in the blurb (and incorrectly mentioned in the blurb of the previous volume). It may have meant much to fans of the series, but I wasn’t overly interested in that story – to be honest. Good to have an extension to the event but ultimately the event has trailed off. 6 out of 10.

In Paperback @ Amazon US

In Paperback @ Amazon UK

Abraham’s Boys: A Dracula Story – review

Director: Natasha Kermani

Release date: 2025

Contains spoilers

This Dracula related film was based on a Joe Hill short story and is set in an alternate ending to Dracula. Jonathan Harker died (how is not revealed) and Van Helsing (Titus Welliver, Kindred the Embraced) married Mina (Jocelin Donahue). No mention is made of Quincey – so presumably Mina and Jonathan did not have a son – rather Mina and Abraham have two children, Max (Brady Hepner) and Rudy (Judah Mackey).

Titus Welliver as Van Helsing

Van Helsing left London for Holland and then moved the family from there to America, settling in California. This is to keep away from those things that may come in the night. The boys have been brought up with tales of the vampire and Mina’s blood is said to still be tainted to the point that she is, at times, ill and Van Helsing suggests that *they* can detect her through it, when close.

opening scene

Having opened with an intertitle from Van Helsing’s medical journal about vampirism and the virulence with which it spreads we find ourselves in 1915, some 18 years after the death of Count Dracula. We see a woman who begs a horseman for a ride as she needs to get to town (the interaction and reaction put my mind to Red Dead Redemption 2 and probably suggests I played the game a tad too often). After he has ridden past a black blur tackles her to off screen.

Brady Hepner as Max

One of the issues with the film is that it is ponderous. We get time with the family – Abraham is hard on Max as he seems not to apply himself to his lessons, whereas Rudy is wilful. Near the homestead surveyors plot for a branch to the railway – and an accident brings them into Van Helsing’s orbit as he has to render medical aid. The boys wonder what is in the forbidden study and Rudy complains that there are noises in the night (and, so what if *they* need inviting in? What if *they* are inside already?)

Mina bitten

We get vampiric moments in Max’s dreams where he sees a pale man (Forrest McClain) but are the dreams born of the stories he’s been told or more prophetic in nature? Mina gives some lovely turn of phrase when describing the past, “The others never saw his true face. He held me so close. I could feel his cold breath on my cheek. So strange to have cold breath. Long, white limbs, white teeth, and a terrible, thin, soft mouth… …He moved like a ghost.” She becomes more and more ill, though Max wonders whether his father’s treatments do more harm than good.

burying the undead

Inevitably Van Helsing wants to train his children in the ‘family business’ whether they wish to or not. Via this we get some lore, as he explains how to stake the undead and suggests they can “pass from shadow to shadow.” We also get a visit from Arthur Holmwood (Jonathan Howard), though he is a man wracked with guilt and doubts, and all that is to say that we drudge through this without a tension building that we need as a viewer. It is a shame, as a tension could have been found and would have kept the viewer's attention as the film slowly builds to its denouement that explores the nature of monsters. However, without that tension 4 out of 10 is generous.

The imdb page is here.

Onlyfangs – review

Directors: Angelica De Alba and Paul Ragsdale

Release date: 2025

Contains spoilers

Onlyfangs is a vampire comedy that was crowdsourced for funding, I had backed the project and so got the electronic release as my perk. We are back in the world of the content creator – the online amateur cryptozoologist, in this case, and a more adult version of content creation – and the influencer is very much a theme in several vampire (and more generally horror) films at the moment. The film, unfortunately, has a major issue, which is a shame as it does much right.

Neve and Scarlett

So, it begins 100 years ago with Neve (Delawna McKinney) and Scarlett (Nina Lanee Kent), who are running through the countryside, trying to escape *him*. Do not let, what might be, night-for-day shooting put you off. It may just be twilight as these vampires can go into the sunlight it seems. They get to a river and we do have an issue I’m picking up on regularly in budget flicks – modern technique tattoos on vampires in period settings. In this case, they are visible but it is a quick scene and ultimately forgivable. *He* is Harvey (Nick Zagone) and he catches the errant vampires – they are his (there is an underlying theme of ownership of women) and he kills Neve.

turning Reece

Cut to modern day and Scarlett, along with Zooey (Meredith Mohler, Queen Dracula) and Selena (Adriana Uchishiba) are having a photoshoot featuring Reece (Kansas Bowling, Verotika & Death Rider in the House of Vampires). At the end, Harvey comes in, the other women leave and there is almost a casting couch feel, which leads to him biting and turning her. Later we see he keeps her in a cellar/cell and feeds her mice – however, Scarlett appears along with Selena, with a sword, who takes care of him.

on the road

The credit scene then sees the four vampire ladies trudging through California, with Reece dragging a trunk – later we discover it contains Harvey, his arms and legs removed but still undead as Scarlett wants him to suffer. There is a montage of travelling (taking turns dragging the trunk) and then getting a ride, who they kill and take his vehicle. Eventually they set up shop in an abandoned skate park. They then go hunting. Three go to a bar, where they dance on the bar top and then slaughter the people there, whilst Reece goes on a date. Clearly Reece was always going to eat him but, before that, he goes all murderous Christian Nationalist/incel on her. This gives her a reason beyond vampirism for her attack. There is a theme through this, which takes aim at conspiracy theorists and the MAGA type,

The Monster Boys

Elsewhere in the park that Reece is in, Wes (Drew Marvick) is shooting content with sister Gwen (Jessa Jupiter Flux, Debbie Does Demons) and friend Quentin (Shane Meyers). Together they are the Monster Boys (Gwen notwithstanding) and they are looking for monsters in a park, where Wes' hero, monster hunter Wilhelm Johanssen (Bryan Hurd), allegedly found a chupacabra. Gwen isn’t in to it, Quentin gets lost and Wes stumbles upon Reece feeding, gets footage and legs it.

Reece feeding

So, without dragging this out – as dragging things out is an issue with the film – the vampires meet Wes. His footage is too blurry and ridiculed to cause them an issue. However, he does have an idea for OnlyFangs, shooting subscription based vampire footage, including visits to clients for the full vamp experience (it is notable that he thinks it a gimmick until later in the film). Peril comes in the form of a MAGA type congresswoman (Ellie Church). So, what about dragging things out? Well, the film has a 2-hour running time, and that is way too long. It’s pacing suffers and it outstays its welcome. Wes has a group of conspiracy nut friends and the vampires kill them. They could just let all that hit the (virtual) cutting room floor – it really doesn’t add to the film.

offering her blood

That said there are some great vampiric images and the photography is professional, but story elements don’t add up. The vampires are keeping it on the down-low after what they did to Harvey and yet indulge in a viral app phenomenon. They seem to have other vampires involved internationally but then there is talk of a war coming with the vampire elders (so why get involved with other vampires and, presumably, bring more focus to them) and needing to build a vampire army. The dialogue does touch on Scarlett hating capitalism and corporations – and yet content creation is an act of micro-capitalism. The big issue, though, is the running length and it is because of this that, despite some earnest performances (and a particular shout out to Adriana Uchishiba, whose Selena was gloriously demented), decent photography and good imagery, I have to hold this at 4 out of 10. A substantial re-edit would earn it a return review.

The imdb page is here.