Vampire Club – review

Director: Dennis Devine

Release date: 2013

Contains spoilers

Back with the video vampires of Dennis Devine and the director’s efforts haven’t found much favour in my reviews so far. So, let’s see how this fares.

It starts with a woman, Vicky (Veronica Ricci, Arise of the Snake Women & Fangs Out) strutting down the street. She arrives at a house and meets Ali (Tracy Carr). Ali has fangs and soon bites Vicky but not before suggesting she should join “the club” and makes her drink her blood after the bite. She needs a second draught of vampire blood to fully turn (and it is suggested that not drinking vampire blood at all would have resulted in her death), but Ali needs to feed first.

stomach stake

She heads out and spots Amanda (Krystal Ellsworth) and is about to attack when Amanda uses her name. Confused, she asks how she knows her, which is the opportunity Amanda needs to stake her – avenging her brother and sister. Her hunting partner Lance (Dylan Vox, the Lair, Scab, Brides of Sodom & Vampire Boys) arrives and takes her head with a sword. Now, the beheading looked good – even if the head was obviously a prop – as did the staking (at least on the surface). However, the stake was clearly in the stomach. Now, whilst the stomach might be folklorically accurate (to pin the corpse to the grave), this wasn’t what they were going for and was slapdash.

Marlene Mc'Cohen as Dorothy

Vampire Master Dorothy (Marlene Mc'Cohen, Vampire Boys 2: The New Brood, Fangs Out: Blood Apocalypse & also Fangs Out and Vampire Boys), with vampires Piper (Harmony Smith, also Fangs Out: Blood Apocalypse) and Stephanie (Ginny You, also Fangs Out: Blood Apocalypse), finds Ali. Piper decides it is time to move on, but the hunters read newspapers to track their progress. As things develop, the vampires get jobs as dancers (of the go-go variety) but Piper is out of control and her devouring of a stag at the club leads to his sister joining the hunters. Vicky, in the meantime, is drawn to the vampires to get the second draught of vampire blood (the spirit of Ali apparently speaking to her).

double bite

There isn’t much more of a story. The strip club has an outside establishing shot but seems to be just any old office location converted into a makeshift stage and back rooms. The lore is confused in terms of crosses not working (though the hunters seem to think they do) but holy water burning – the film makes no attempt to explain the reasoning. Sunlight is mentioned as the hunters’ friend, but is not utilised in film. The story is simplistic, the characters under-developed. Plot-wise Veronica Ricci is underutilised, she is used for sexploitation reasons (and the only actress who is filmed nude) but for the plot, she is little more than a catalyst and could have been missed altogether. Straight to video, this is a low-end film I’m afraid. 3 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

Vampires of Sorority Row – review

Directors: Dennis Devine & Kathryn Glass

Release date: 1999

Contains spoilers


A low-grade comedy merging vampires and the college/sorority genres this was (I imagine) a straight to video effort that actually spawned a sequel (though, at the time of writing this I haven’t tracked that one down).

There, unfortunately, isn’t much to explore around this film and it fairly much is what you would imagine.

staking described on tape

After a credit sequence in which we see primary character Cindy (Kathryn Glass) sleeping whilst clutching a (sharpened into a stake) cross we cut to a trailer park. Cindy has found a tape from a previous resident that says the trailer park is full of vampires. We see the previous resident fight and kill two vampires and then we cut back to Cindy. Ray Bob (Tony Gessup) asks her what she thinks she is doing and she says that she is going to college. He sprouts fangs and she kills him.

Lori bitten

Cut forward one year and Cindy is at the Alpha Beta Gamma sorority house pledging for the sorority. Also pledging are Miffy (Kathryn Rogers) – whose sister, Muffy, had previously been vice president of the sorority, Ashley (Erika Gardner) and Tamara (Amy Larion). They essentially have to earn pledge points by doing chores and suffering pranks. Get to 100 points and they’re in. Miffy relays a story later on about a previous sorority member, Lori (Xany Rudoff), who had been bitten in the past and was still waiting to bite someone and become a full vampire. When asked what she was waiting for the answer is the full moon.

Kathryn Glass as Cindy

So there is no adequate answer, really, as to why she waited and why, now, she appears and starts biting pledges and sorority sisters alike. Her second bite is of Mary (Rita Fiora) and this proves to be a mistake as Mary refuses to be Lori’s vampire slave and essentially takes over the vampires – aiming to turn all the house into vampires. It is up to the plucky pledges (and a frat boy called John (Christian Catlin) who has snuck in looking for a date) to stop the vampires and gain admission to the sorority.

bite cam

Vampires, in this, tend to have their first bite on someone’s bottom rather than the neck. Drain a victim dry and they won’t turn. They can handle the sun but are warded by crosses and burned by holy water. Garlic is mentioned but not tested. The film throws in a “bite cam” where we see an attack (pre-bite at least) from a pov camera with a fang frame. Reflections fade and and vanish but other than that there is nothing really much else to say about this.

fangs on show

I get the feeling that it wanted to be a titillation but steered a course away from overt sexploitation and so we get little in the way of titillation. The action primarily is in one house and the acting is not brilliant by any stretch – however you got the sense that there was some fun being had on set. That fun does not necessarily translate into comedy gold, unfortunately, but it is what it is… a straight to video B. 2.5 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

Fangs Out – review

Director: Dennis Devine

Release date: 2023

Contains spoilers

This is a low to no budget vampire flick that had a kernel of a good idea, in broad brush, but then spoilt it with poor effects, juvenile humour, lacklustre performances and some really silly ideas. That said, it is potentially a (one off) watch with mates and booze flick.

The film starts with a woman, Brenda (Charity Rahmer), in the woods and wearing a hospital gown, it seems something/one is following her. Suddenly Mariangela (Desiree Alexandra Estrada) jumps out at her and Brenda begs for her to let her go. Brenda is stabbed. Elsewhere a woman speaks to her daughter about what a beautiful day it is, but it soon becomes apparent that the daughter has a gun trained on her. Cop, Lee (Randy Oppenheimer, Blood Moon Rising, Arise of the Snake Woman & Amityville Vampire), takes the shot and shoots the gun out of her hand. Mother and daughter make up instantly and turn on Lee for taking the shot.

the gang

Four college friends are off on a road trip, with a difference. They are heading to an area off grid, where they will get directions at a bookstore that will take them over the border (to Mexico) where Dr. Pavor (Samuel Code) runs a black-market plastic surgery clinic. Of the friends, Skylar (Marlene Mc'Cohen, The Boneyard Collection, Vampire Boys & Vampire Boys 2: The New Brood) wants breast augmentation, Allana (Heidi Hemlock) does porn and wants her vagina tightening and her boyfriend (Brian Easter Jr.) wants a penis enlargement. The fourth friend, Madison (Stacy Aung) thinks it is a bad idea but is going to support Skylar.

Veronica Ricci as Nurse Anna

Suffice it to say that all is not as it seems and Dr Pavor, along with Nurse Anna (Veronica Ricci, also Arise of the Snake Woman) are vampires. There is something odd going on with Anna as it looks as though she is wearing stark yet patchy, white face-paint (and it is thusly remarked upon in dialogue) but it was actually the result of a punishment for being greedy meted out by Dr Pavor. Mariangela is also a nurse but is the human servant who can go out in the day. Lee is drawn in as his daughter, Faye (Jessie Vane), is a prisoner in the clinic. It did seem strange that it took Lee’s Ex calling him for him to listen to the plea for help voicemail from his daughter, but nevermind.

tattooed cross

So the idea is Pavor does the surgery (which involves blood flow manipulation rather than implants) but what he actually does is change them so they overproduce altered blood and are farmed. If there is no farming then the excess blood will kill them. Strangely the altered blood is sold to the cartel (as you do) as humans can get buzzed on it and it is addictive. I mentioned at the head that the idea was initially good (vampire run plastic surgery clinic) but went silly (the over-production of addictive, narcotic blood). However, there were some good moments too, one of the best being a tattoo of a cross acting as a cross – not necessarily original but it worked. Less so was the idea that the person with the tattoo had been blessed so often by nuns that their blood was like holy water!

in sunlight

The effects really were shoddy – being destroyed by sunlight was done in CGI modelling that didn’t even try for realism. The locations were clearly limited and so the operating theatre was a room with drapes over the walls to hide what the location actually was. But I can’t be too cruel. I don’t think this would get multiple watches by most and most on the first watch will hate it. But, if you like low budget horror it has a charm and, in a group, with enough beverages, this could prove fun. 3 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Amazon UK

Vamps and the City – review

Director: Dennis Devine

Release Date: 2010

Contains spoilers

Oh dear, oh dear… Now I am not a fan of Sex and the City, a show/film series best avoided to my way of thinking, and so a vampire version (or rip off) didn’t fill me with confidence aplenty. The fact that it is of the lowest of budgets didn’t help but I was slightly upbeat by the fact that it was by Cleopatra – known for their Goth CDs – and so expected some positive aspects to the soundtrack.

Alas, this was not to be. A band called Spiders and Snakes appear at the head of the film and towards the end… and quite frankly they were, at best, very sub-Alice Cooper. The rest of the soundtrack was so forgettable that I have, indeed, forgotten it. I should take this moment to thank Everlost, who pushed me in the direction of this doozie.

Noelle Perris as Claire

So, we start with the band and then cut to Sherry (Jade Brandais, Dark House) getting out of the coffin (or crate, to be fair). A female vamp, later revealed to be Claire (Noelle Perris), approaches her and Sherry cannot move. She awakens in her coffin and we discover that she has the dream often but can never remember the face of the female vampire seducing her. Sherry is our narrator.

about to have a cow

Aretha (Heather Howe) is dressed up as a beauty queen as it is Halloween. She is about to chow down on an unsuspecting man in a cow suit (Derek Lui) when a woman bursts in calling her an unholy creature. She is Mrs Van Helsing (Jayne Clement) and poorly delivered over-acting is the order of the day. She is with her son Henry (David Coe), a young man who appears to be challenged mentally and who has forgotten the stake and put tap water in the holy water bottle. She stabs Aretha in the stomach (with a glass, I think) before Aretha makes a speech about vampires no longer killing and throwing the woman out. We do discover that Mr Van Helsing was killed by vampires.

Scarlet and Sherry

So the film splits in two ways, we follow the romantic misadventures of Sherry and her friends. Aretha is a bit of a play-girl, Sherry is dating the married Mr Huge (Justin Ferrari) a sewage magnate with unfortunate smells and large manly girth. Their friends (and roommates) are Scarlet (Tammy De Kauwe), whose fellow has noodle trouble, and Lorinda (Danielle Motley), who has a fellow with one pea-sized and one-grapefruit sized testis. The humour then follows with (what looks like) mayonnaise on her face as a special effect – oh how I laughed, not.

Christina Desiere as Betty

The other path sees the evil vampires, led by Claire along with Scarena (Caitlin Rose Williams), Tina (Sasanna Babashoff) and Betty (Christina Desiere). They wish to destroy the good vampires for giving them a bad name and Scarena killed Mr Van Helsing. Mrs Van Helsing is manipulated into the story, but it saved her sharing a motel bed with her son. Overall there wasn’t really much of a story.

brave vampire hunters

Vampire lore is fairly standard with a couple of non-standard bits that consist of the idea that a vampire victim (who isn’t killed) will act drunk after the feed, forget the events, wake in the morning with a hangover and the bites will have healed and that vampires dream of the time they were turned. This doesn’t explain Sherry dreaming of Claire – as this seems to be a possible future event – but that is a point left unanswered.

Bad effects, bad acting and no real story – the film is poor. However some of the girls look pleasant enough and they seem to be having fun at least. Overall though, I would avoid. 1.5 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.