Blood Red Moon – review

Directed by: Scott Patrick

Release Date: 2009

Contains spoilers

The name Kevin J Lindenmuth should ring bells to regular blog readers, I have reviewed 5 films directed by him; Addicted to Murder (1, 2 and 3), Rage of the Werewolf and Vampires and Other Stereotypes. Unfortunately they weren’t very good (with an average score of 1.6). What does that have to do with this Scott Patrick directed film? Lindenmuth is the writer.

If we look at the cover it becomes clear that the filmmakers were making a version of Twilight - for version read rip off. Indeed a quote on the cover mentions Twilight directly. Firstly, if you want to make a good vampire movie don’t rip off Twilight – as you are surfing on the backlash to start off with. Secondly… well we’ll get to the how they failed to make Twilight later.

The film starts with the farmer called Deke (Jurgan Vollrath) drinking with his dog. The dog starts barking and he turns to it and asks the dog (no longer there as it had run off) what it is barking at. Deke then declares that *they* have returned (later we hear he believes in aliens) and then the screen blacks as we hear a moo… Yes a moo and my interest piqued – were we going to get a werecow? No, it is the sound of a cow being attacked. There is then a theme tune which is vocally interesting and spoilt by the ridiculous synth effects that burble over the top.

Megan (Sarah Lavrisa) has started a new school out in the country, it seems because she got in trouble in the city. She is stood around when jock Mike (Drake Evans) and his cheerleader girlfriend Jenna (Hailey Beauchamp) make a disparaging comment about her looking like a member of the Addams family (which might have had more impact if Megan looked at all Gothic). Along comes good student Alissa (Tiffany Lawson) to take her under her wing.

Also at the school is Victor (Matthew Rogers). The pale outsider who doesn’t get involved… oh, yes he is… He is attracted to Megan, she to him and they have an odd flirtation. Yet he is able, seemingly, to move along paths at lightening speed… what could he be? Also, there are animal attacks in town, people being killed… could it be that a creature is on the loose?

Megan has a creepy stalker dream with Victor looming above her and, having decided that she knows what he is (we’ll get to asking how in a second), has another psychic flash where she sees him with Jenna – for this she calls him a two-timer! She confronts him and he admits he is a vampire – he is not with Jenna, however, she is part of the herd he feeds on (and he let Megan see this so she would know what he is). She thinks it is cool but is upset that he doesn’t feed on her.

So, he can go out in daylight, eat mortal food (in fact the vampires have to eat mortal food just like you and I), his hands are warm as these vampires are not dead (or undead) but hyper-alive. So, other than vanishing and moving quickly, we might ask how she reached the idea that he was a vampire (prior to the Jenna vision)? Incidentally, the vampirism is not passed on through bites but through intimacy (as Megan points out, it is an STD). Victor was turned in 1970 and removing the heart seems to be a generally good vampire killing technique.

Mike and Jenna are murdered out by Deke’s farm and the farmer sees the attack, leading the Sheriff (Mark Courneyea) to declare that Victor is a killer. However Victor explains that the killings have been carried out by an ancient vampire (who was around at the time of the Mammoths, we later hear), affected by the blood red moon (vampire becoming a werewolf, asks Megan, no… becoming a mega-vampire) and shape-shifting to look like Victor.

They have to stop him but that shouldn’t be too difficult for a vampire a few decades old facing off against a mega-vampire who is millennia old...

Now, the Twilight aspects (as this does not sound very Twilight as laid out, bar the creepy stalking) is centred around the love story. It is also curtailed by the movie’s budget (or lack of it). At one point they look at trees and Victor asks Megan whether they should climb up – she responds by saying only if he wants her to puke in his mouth as she has vertigo. No tree climbing scene. At another point they lie in the grasses and he fails to sparkle. Make no mistake this ripped off Twilight, had no budget to imitate it and then threw in a modicum of blood via rubbish effects. The characters only have one set of clothes each (except Megan who has a set of pyjamas as well as day clothes). The acting is – well, honestly I couldn’t find it to comment, the dialogue is risible and frankly rubbish and the story… hmmm… not good. 1.5 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.