Director: Michael W. Johnson
Release date: 1999
Contains spoilers
The DVD of Blood Kiss suggests that the quality of image may vary as the film is taken from different sources. How true this is I don’t know but it doesn’t really vary as it is all pretty poor. Film shot on cheap end video equipment, with no inherent photography expertise, is about the best thing I could say about it.
That could be the message of every aspect of the whole flick – cheap end and no inherent expertise. It’s sad, it’s unfortunately also true.
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Steve Lee as Adam Mortis |
The film background is told in flashback through the piece but, essentially, it runs a little like this. A man, Danny Dodd (Jeff Murphy), has a wife Elaine and daughter Trudy. When driving along one day they come across a yard sale and a dodgy (in terms of acting as much as anything) gypsy sells her a book that purports to be the true tale of a vampire, Adam Mortis (Steve Lee). She works out where his remains are meant to be and is going to, with her occultist friends (or should I say friend, singular), bring him back. Danny doesn’t complain about her drugging and taking their daughter as a sacrifice because he doesn’t believe it’s real.
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bite |
It’s real. His wife is killed and his daughter lost (he presumes eaten). Ten years later (according to the DVD blurb – I am sure that the film suggests sixteen but I haven’t got the gumption to recheck) the vampire is back in town. Danny is on his trail (and also beheads at least one corpse of a victim down the morgue) as is a cop (Steven Mark Hahn). The vampire has a human disciple called Miranda whom he is grooming for undead life (guess who she might be) and a taste for strippers and prostitutes.
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stalking and blood soaked |
That’s about all the story but the film – which clocks in at a monumental 2 hours – trundles on and on through a turgid sea of woeful acting and copious amounts of not particularly erotic nudity. There really isn’t much more to add. A short review for a long film with little in the way of positive aspects to wax lyrical about. I will dare you to watch the scene of the cop and a homeless lady who screeches, on repeat, “Naked and dead” and not want to throw something at the screen. There is a 'shocking' sexual coupling that you can see coming, with its associated plot twist, a mile away (even though it makes little sense in a plot way, probably because the entire act of seduction is simply disrobing in a non-erotic manner and that’s about it).
Bad.
1 out of 10.
The imdb page is
here.
On VHS @ Amazon US
On DVD @ Amazon UK
2 comments:
Jesus. How do you get the energy to watch these things? Surely there must be better things you could spend your time on.
I sometimes wonder ;)
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