Monday, May 31, 2010

Tales from the Crapper – review

Director: Various

Released: 2004

Contains spoilers

I have not been too complementary about Troma films – after all they are crap (though they have been known to pick up some gems from other production companies on occasion). However there is a certain something about some of them, in the right company, with the correct amount of foaming or distilled beverage imbibed. They will never be good films (generally) but they can be amusing.

This is neither a great movie, nor amusing. This is an anthology film with all the merit of a dead racoon, splattered on the highway and allowed to rot and then bake in the sun. Yes, it is that bad.

not bad gore
The first story – the Case of the Melon Heavy Alien Man Eater was so bad I jumped through it. This is followed by the vampire tale, Tuition of the Terror Twat. It actually starts off with a sliver of possibility, as we see a man handcuffed and a dancer who then takes his face off. It is gory, but the gore is reasonably done.

vampire bite
Just in case we are not sure what we are dealing with the camera then pans across his eviscerated corpse until it rests on a section of gore and arrows appear pointing to tell us “important: Vampire bite!” So there you go, the film is part of the vampire genre and so I have to watch the damn thing!

Essentially the story is that Timmy loses his college tuition and orders a stripper, Amanda (Julie Strain, Morgana and Blood Thirsty). He is so drunk he has misread the amount and can’t pay her but his friends take her home then have the idea of having a stripper party to raise money for Tim’s tuition.

vampire stripper
The party goes ahead but, of course, Amanda and her two friends are vampires and a wholesale slaughter of all the guests is the order of the day. There really isn’t that much else to say, a whole lot of gore and nudity and nothing even floating near the area of plot. Lloyd Kaufman states (in a voice over) that plot is unnecessary where one has lesbians. That may well be true, to a degree, but this completely misses that degree.

another Ron Jeremy cameo
The only other thing to mention is the cameo by none other than Ron Jeremy and Ron Jeremy spotting seems to have evolved into a new sport on the blog. There really isn’t anything else I can summon up to say about this filmic car crash.

0 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.



Christine said...

It seems to be aptly titled. Troma films are from the crapper, hm?

Taliesin_ttlg said...

Those they produce, at least... though there is something to be said for a group of drunken film watchers laughing away at Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town!

This really is the bottom of the pile though...