Friday, September 05, 2008

Malibu Beach Vampires – review

coverDirector: Francis Patrick Creighton

Release date: 1991

Contains spoilers

For those of us who thought that vampires were pale creatures of the night, with a tendency for the melodramatic and a love of the gothic it seems, according to this film (and I use the term loosely), that we were wrong. It seems that vampires are a group of girls in bikinis dancing on a beach.

dancing vamps in bikinisIt seems, also, that they come from another world… the underworld. They come up, sprout fangs and right wrongs by biting the corrupt and, rather than sucking blood, injecting truth serum that kills if the truth is not told.

fangsThis, therefore, is what happens to a Colonel, a Congressman and a TV evangelist… or so it would seem. You see, whilst spreading a liberal dose of excrement that was meant to be political satire, the makers of this turkey utterly forgot to add a plot. Barely vampires, in what is barely a film, I really cannot find much else to say. 0 out of 10. Avoid.

The imdb page is here.

3 comments:

gilligan said...

This would appear to be a perfect example of where an entire film rides on a alluring title (i.e. Snakes on a Plane). It's worked for the fringe movie industry since the drive in movie days, and I guess it still holds true.

The magic is when the movie lives up to the title and sometimes that can be a tall order. Could ANY movie live up to the title "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!"?

Ryne said...

I'm glad you found it as hard to watch, and review, as I did.

Whew... it literally made me not want to watch movies.

Taliesin_ttlg said...

Hi guys, sorry its taken a while to reply - intermitent problems have become no net connection at home!

Gilligan, no movie could live up to the title "faster, pussycat! Kill! Kill!"

Ryne - we suffer for our art, as they say. Trully awful piece of piffle. Up there with the worst.