Friday the 13th: The Baron’s Bride – review (TV episode)

Director: Bradford May

First aired: 1988

Contains spoilers

I must admit to not being too familiar with this series. Not connected to the famous film franchise it is about an antique shop. It seems the owner made a deal with the devil to sell cursed antiques. When he dies his niece Micki (Louise Robey) and her cousin Ryan (John D LeMay) inherit the shop and together with Jack Marshak (Chris Wiggins) they try to retrieve said cursed items.

In the case of this season 1 episode it happens to be a cursed cape. Yes, that’s right a vampire cape with the uncanny ability to make the wearer irresistible to women and a jewelled brooch on it that enables time travel. Of course, when they head to the home of Mrs Simmons (Dianna Barrington) they do not know about the vampire aspect.

She has a room for rent and is showing it to Frank Edwards (Tom McCamus). He finds the cloak laid out, puts it on and discovers that she has chosen him to be her companion. She is, of course, a vampire. She puts the bite on him just as the heroes arrive and run to the rescue. In a rage she throws Jack and Micki across the room.

Ryan looks like he is legging it but the next thing we see is a room for rent sign stuck out of her back. It is a cracking piece of non standard slayage. Unfortunately Frank has taken to being a vampire like a duck to water, he has also taken a shine to Micki and grabs her. Ryan leaps to the rescue and they are all transported to London 1875.

Funny thing, but 19th century London is in Black and White, would you credit it, seems like humanity had not invented colour! Well, come on, I know this was aired in ’88 but it seems a bit hackneyed now. 19th century London is also the home of the really bad mockney accent, it seems. Frank legs it and Ryan and Micki meet the nice Irish couple Abraham (Kevin Bundy) and Caitlin (Susannah Hoffman).

Hold on a second… vampires… 1875…. London…. Abraham…. Could his surname begin with an S? But surely then his wife would be called Florence… So it can’t be or, perhaps, Caitlin is destined to be a goner! Well that would be telling but what I can say is we get a brief window interlude, a heroine (Micki) who is obsessed with the vampire and little else. Except…

Well there is a lovely moment, day has broken and the cape is off and we can’t really tell whether the corrupted look of Frank is down to the sun or lack of cape at first. There is actually some pathos to this moment. When he puts the cape on we realise it is that which makes him look handsome and then wonder how Simmons maintained a human look without said cloak.

Anyway, short story even shorter they do end up back in their own time, with the cape and, hey, discover that Bram was short for Abraham and, to hammer it home, we get them looking at an ornate copy of Dracula. Thing is, it would have been better if they hadn’t bothered with this scene and just let us assume it was meant to be Stoker. Never mind.

This isn’t brilliant stuff, the accents are rubbish, the story slim and it still manages to have plot questions if not holes. The moment of pathos aside, this is below average as a vampire piece. 2.5 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.