Friday, June 29, 2007

Vamp or Not? Blood Sisters of Lesbian Sin


With a title like that I believed I was going to settle down to watch a bloomin’ awful film and with a description that I’d read, which ran: “Three sexy, lesbian vampires with insatiable appetites for the women of Earth have appeared from the depths of hell to conquer the world one sexual conquest at a time! Only one man can stop their reign of erotic horror -- Johnny Blake (Justin Gorrence). But will he give in to their temptations?” I am sure I can be forgiven for believing that I was in for some Vampiric badness. Note pad in hand I settled down to watch…

The short lived vampireThe beginning was positive. A man and woman in bed, a figure at the window. The woman awakens and strips as she heads towards the man who has entered the room. He bites. Her partner awakens and has his neck broken for his troubles. Neighbours break in to find the couple dead. The vampire returns to his crypt, opens his coffin to find it occupied. He seems to know the man, he calls him The Monk (Justine Gorrence). The Monk has a sword and beheads the vampire…

Sister AvariveOkay, so far so good. We have a vampire, the acting is awful, the sets pathetic. A night of bad movie entertainment awaits… But wait… This is a ‘Vamp or Not?’ This is, except for a brief mention later, the end of vampiric involvement. Whoever wrote the synopsis I have quoted did not watch the film. Indeed this Greg Griffin directed film was entitled Sisters of Sin until Troma got hold of it for distribution – at that point it seems that someone who had not watched the film sensationalised the title.

The Monk controlledWhat we have is paranormal bad guy hunter The Monk, aka Johnny Blake, who meets Catherine Coogan (Lara Dans) - a woman with a problem. Her two sisters vanished and she is being hunted. They are the daughters of the virgin priestess of Asmodeus, who was raped and kidnapped by their Dad (Martin King). Actually she is who she says she is but she is not in danger. She is Sister Avarice, and one of the bad guys, testing Monk before blasting him with a red light to take him over, in order that he can retrieve her sisters’ rings of power for her.

Karen with Sister AngerWith the help of his secretary Karen (Heather Lee McIntyre) he goes after Sister Anger (Alisa Christensen) first. She is the one lesbian sister it appears. Then he goes after Sister Lust (Jenna Johns). Can he resist Avarice in time to save the world? Who cares?

The Monk and Sister LustThis is as poorly acted, scripted and directed as I’d suspected when I sat down to watch… but sometimes you just want to watch a bad movie, it makes the good ones better. It had pretensions to bigger and better things that made it amusing in a bad B flick way, but these girls are witches not vampires. The main story has nothing at all to do with vampires. The brief mention I touched on was when we hear that The Monk’s mother and sister became vampires ten years before, that’s how he got into the business. Can we say Captain Kronos rip off.

The Monk, himselfA bad film with no redeeming vampires in the main plot and the one we do get lasts 2 minutes at the head of the film. Perhaps that would have made for a Honourable Mention (or dishonourable in this case), but as the main plot had suggested vampires, I have to say Not Vamp for the main.

The imdb page is here.

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