The Lair – season 2 – review (TV Series)

Directed by: Fred Olen Ray

First aired: 2008

Contains spoilers

I have called season 1 of the Lair a guilty pleasure. A supernatural soap opera about vampires, made for Gay TV channel Here! It was camp and melodramatic, very soap but there was something fun about it. It wasn’t the best programming in the world – perhaps it liked to linger upon hard bodies for too long for my taste (though members of the target audience might well disagree) – but it was certainly better than many other Fred Olen Ray efforts.

It is sad to report, therefore, that rather than strengthening itself, the series actually lost focus in season 2. As we look at the main story threads you’ll see why, and it has a lot to do with too many supernatural creatures being thrown into the pot over its extended (from 6) 9 episode run.

By the end of season 1, hero of the show Thom (David Moretti) had led a raid on the Lair (a vampire run gay sex club) to rescue his boyfriend Jonathon (in season 2 played by Ethan Reynolds) – not realising it was a trap as Jonathon was now a vampire. Indeed through the first season each episode was a flashback detailing how Thom ended up trapped in a prison in the Lair, during the raid, until the final episode when he escaped and had his final showdown with the vampires.

In the ensuing showdown, the Lair’s human servant Frankie (Brian Nolan) is shot as is Sheriff Trout (Colton Ford). Cutting to season 2, Trout has survived but is temporarily blind and Frankie was still alive when buried by evil vampire Colin (Dylan Vox), subsequently died and returns in season 2 as a vengeful spirit. Colin had walled vampire leader Damian (Peter Stickles) alive/undead.

Why so? Damian is the first vampire, created by a curse on a portrait of him painted by his lover whom he killed (a lover who he believes has been reincarnated as Thom). He cannot die whilst the paining is intact but the other vampires will die if he does (other than that, standard vampire rules apply with reference to burning in sunlight, being staked, repelled by crosses etc). For someone to be turned they must be drained, die and be willed back by a more powerful vampire. I should add that Thom’s friend Laura (Beverly Lynne) is in jail awaiting trial for murdering her abusive husband (whilst she was under vampiric command).

So that is where the show starts and the vampire storyline continues on through season 2. Damian wants to escape his prison – albeit that he is now desiccated – and so is appearing in spirit form and trying to persuade Thom to free him. The urging, and a little help from Frankie who wants Colin to die, gets Thom – eventually – to raid the Lair again and dig old Damian out. Of course the fact that he is carrying a mummified mess under his arm doesn’t stop Thom pausing, during his escape with Damian's body, to voyeuristically watch some sex play – but we are in the world of the Lair!

Of course Damian now needs reviving and Thom has to do that. For some reason – having placed Damian in his bath – this involves lighting scented candles before getting in himself and cutting his own chest, collecting the blood in a goblet and pouring it onto Damian’s rotten lips. A cut on wrist/hand and hold it over said goblet wasn't an option then! But, weirdness aside, the vampire storyline is bobbing along nicely, albeit not particularly overflowing with originality, and the addition of a ghost doesn’t distract from it.

The problem is there isn’t enough story to cover the 9 twenty minute (if you discount credits and plot reminders) slots. Even the Laura situation (almost forgot for most of the episodes) is resolved in about 2 minutes. So Ray threw in two additional storylines that served only to scattergun the plot all over the show. The first concerns Ian (Matty Ferraro) a nervous young man who just so happens to be… a werewolf! Yes, for the entire run of the series there is a full moon.

Ian happens into the blind Sheriff Trout’s home who offers the intruder a place to stay! Luckily, as he is blind (and then later his eyesight improves to the point where he can see blurs) he doesn’t notice the blood that Ian has to wash off in the mornings, following his wolfy rampages. Indeed Ian awakens naked with blood on his hands several times through the season and is being hunted himself by someone who knows what he is.

The other story involves botanist Jake (Matthew King) – who I thought was dubbed – and his assistant Tim (Johnny Hazzard). Jake gets a rare orchid, attached to a cursed rock (which itself had a connection to Damian that wasn’t explored). The orchid responds to moonlight – though this does not relate it to the werewolf story, despite them converging towards the end. The orchid is rather triffid like though – spraying a killer fungus that was more like acid and also seems to be sentient, taking over Jake’s mind/will.

Werewolves and Triffids, they really did dilute the mix and they weren’t strong stories either. That’s not to say the vampire story was particularly strong or original but it was more so than these. They distracted from the vampire story and, subsequently, the show lost focus. 3 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

Wolvesbayne – review

Director: Griff Furst

Release date: 2009

Contains spoilers

This is a film that was aired, Stateside, on TV (as a sci-fi original) recently and a friend in the US, Suzi, mailed me to tell me about this cheesy B flick. As it was the film is also out on DVD – in Thailand – and so I got opportunity to watch this and the first thing to point out is that it is actually a (loose) sequel.

Some time ago we looked at a flick called Dracula’s Curse. That was written and directed by Leigh Scott and this was written by Scott. Rhett Giles reprises his role as Jacob Van Helsing – though most of the cast in this has changed. Now, the reason I suggest that this is a loose sequel is because whilst it is set in the same universe it has little connection story wise. The sequel nature of this is where the film does allow itself to fall down as I will later explain.

The head of the film explains that the Van Helsings have chronicled the battles against creatures of the night through the centuries and recorded details of how the vampire Lilith (Yancy Butler) once controlled the vampires but the vampires rebelled and tried to destroy her. She was too powerful to be utterly destroyed and so her essence was captured into an amulet that was split and scattered through the world.

We then see a security guard being left for the night by a co-worker. The co-worker is killed at his car by a fanged gentleman, for his keys, who then breaks into the building and steals one of the amulets of Lilith from a display. The first guard is taken as well. Cut to daytime and we see a man, Russel Bayne (Jeremy London), enter a shop. He is a developer (and somewhat of an a-hole) and he is trying to persuade Alex Layton (Christy Carlson Romano) to sell her shop. She refuses. As he leaves she senses danger and tells him, he suspects a threat and then that she is a dippy new ager.

A woman drives down a road at night and hits a naked man (clearly to the audience a mid transform werewolf). She skids to a halt but he has gone and then her car won’t start. Bayne drives along and she flags him down – he calls roadside assistance for her and then continues on his way but then, in his rear view mirror, he sees her attacked by something hairy. He goes back, leaves his car to help her and is attacked for his trouble. He awakens in hospital 48 hours later. When the cops speak to him they tell him that tests have been inconclusive around physical evidence and, for no good reason, the word werewolf is mentioned.

The security guard is tied up and a couple of vampire girls, Zafira (Stephanie Honore) and Xandrea (Sarah Ann Scultz) have their fun. Their master, Von Griem (Mark Dacascos), says the time has come and has the guard thrown to their pet werewolf Epoch (Jordan Turnage). He puts the stolen amulet into the crate containing the desiccated corpse of Lilith – she starts to reform. Meanwhile Van Helsing and his sidekick Sadie (Taylor Roppolo) turn up at Alex’s. They clearly know each other of old, though Alex is not a hunter, they ask her to keep an ear out for anything re the amulet.

Russel is eating Sushi at home when he drops the plate and realises he is bleeding from the mouth. He looks in the mirror and has fangs. He panics but the transformation continues and he becomes a werewolf - the transformation is shot in such a way that the last part is in silhouette, thus avoiding too many effects. In the morning he awakens and his T-shirt is muddy and there is blood on his hands. In his living room is a butchered pig carcass. As the day goes on – and his sharper hearing drives him to distraction – he decides that source of this is Alex, and that she has cursed him. He confronts her but she kicks his ass. As he leaves the shop his words make her realise what has happened.

He is at a restaurant but it all goes wrong with his date. He is then approached by Zafira and Xandria, asking him to go 'party' with them, but is forceably rescued by Alex. As the movie progresses we discover that she is also a werewolf but can control her transformations – part transforming at will. She must train Russel, who the vampires want because he has (unbeknown to himself) one of the amulets – his Grandfather was a hunter. The bad vampires are taking over the vampire nation and Lilith wants to dominate the world.

Lore wise - for the werewolves we discover that lycanthropy is a retrovirus and, even when they learn to control it, the moon still makes them a little loopy. For the vampires all is fairly standard – and related in the first film – with one new piece of lore. Sadie is ‘an immune’ – as such her blood is poison to vampires. Van Helsing uses this to torture Zafira.

This wasn’t that bad in the grand scheme of things, it was cheesy – but hey most of us like a little cheese. If it failed it was due to its sequel nature more than anything. Many of the characters – Van Helsing for instance – seemed like cardboard cut outs, and this was because there was no character development… in the case of Van Helsing this was because the character had been developed in the earlier flick. I watched this aware of Van Helsing's background, some of the vampires who were mentioned and the world they all inhabited. A viewer who had not seen Dracula’s Curse would feel this was more than a little flat, I am sure.

Likewise Von Griem is a two dimensional baddy – and whilst Dacascos hams it up wonderfully we know nothing of his background and motivation. Lilith is an atypical take over the world villain, with little nuance, though Yancy Butler does what she can with the role. The werewolves are better developed – but it still isn’t perfect.

Another problem is that the story, at its heart, is fairly simple and run of the mill. Compare this to Dracula’s Curse that had many a sub story and was carried by its story-telling and we have a problem. That’s not to say that I hated this but that it fell towards mediocrity because of it – it was fun, but there are more fun things out there, it was cheesy, but the cheese was not enough.

I say that and I probably got more out of this because I had seen the first film. A new viewer is likely to be left fairly cold. Can I suggest that you watch Dracula’s Curse first – perhaps even watch these back to back.

All in all (with knowledge of Dracula’s Curse) 5.5 out of 10 – it would probably have been lower without that background.

The imdb page is here.

Tomb of the Werewolf – review

Director: Fred Olen Ray

Release date: 2004

Contains spoilers

As well as directing guilty pleasure the Lair, Fred Olen Ray directs some right twaddle. On the other hand, Spannish horror icon Paul Naschy has made a career out of becoming a werewolf (amongst other things) films and amongst Naschy’s excursions as the cursed Waldemar Daninsky is Werewolf Shadow, which was directed by the great León Klimovsky. It seems a shame then that this reimagining of the Daninsky story should be created by an old hack like Ray.

Typically, like many of Ray’s productions, the cast is peppered with actors more famous for porn roles – indeed Ray’s films do seem to fluctuate between B horror movies and softcore porn. This film starts with a girl (Jenna West) bound to a tree as she is approached by Elizabeth Bathory (Michelle Bauer, who we last saw in Morgana). Bathory summons the devil (Brian Carrillo) and told that she must make sacrifices to Satan and, for immortality and to maintain her looks, she must bathe in their blood. She slices the girl’s throat and rubs her face in blood.

Modern day. We see the end of the show Current Mysteries, hosted by Melanie Charles (Danielle Petty). Watching it are Melanie and one of the shows producers, Tony (Leland Jay). He is called to a meeting by studio executive Gilchrist (Don Donason). Before he goes there is just time for a quick sex session – I mention because the fast cut away before any action actually took place didn’t jar with this scene, it further established the two as a couple. However every subsequent, gratuitous, sex scene (straight and lesbian) fast cut away before we actually saw much more than a breast – as though Ray was (strangely) embarrassed to add such scenes in and yet needing to simulate a Euro-sexploitation. Actually it was atypical softcore 'titilation' but nevertheless it jarred.

Tony is introduced to Richard Daninsky (Jay Richardson). He is the last of the Daninskys and has just inherited the European castle. There is talk of the castle containing a treasure and so Daninsky has brought a book with the family history. The idea is that Current Mysteries will go to the castle, with a psychic investigator, and film an episode looking for the treasure. Tony takes the book home and Melanie starts to read it and we get a cut scene back into the life of Waldemar Daninsky and his bride Eleanor (Stephanie Bentley).

Waldemar and Eleanor were deeply in love but then she was struck down with the Black Death. Waldemar was approached by Bathory who stated that she could save Eleanor – for a price. She demanded a kiss and bit Waldemar’s lip. That night, as he watched his beloved (who seemed not much better, to be honest) the full moon shone and he transformed into a werewolf. He killed Eleanor.

Tony and Melanie arrive at the castle and meet up with their crew, Christie (Jacy Andrews), Leslie (Beverly Lynne) and Steve (Frankie Cullen). They also meet creepy house keeper Elizabeth… yes Bathory herself is the housekeeper. After the obligatory lesbian scene, cut short as described above, the filmmakers and Richard settle down to dinner. Then psychic Amanda arrives and we can clearly see that she is Eleanor returned.

As Elizabeth leads Richard to the castle crypt, to show him a secret, Amanda dreams of Waldemar. She dreams of him hunted, in wolf form, and captured by a mob. Of him imprisoned and then killed by having a silver cross stuck through his heart… For those not au fait with the Naschy films' general lore, werewolves can be killed, rather like vampires, by putting a silver cross through the heart. Remove the cross and they come back to life, unless the cross was wielded by one who truly loves the werewolf.

So, Richard is in the crypt and Elizabeth gets him to open up Waldemar’s tomb and there is said silver cross. She tells him to remove it but, when he refuses, she gets him to look at her necklace – which turns out to be a hypno-necklace! He takes out the cross and faces away from the tomb so doesn’t see Waldemar coming back to life (with fresh blood at his hairy old mouth, at that). Of course Richard is wolf food. So… the wolfman is up and at ‘em and Bathory is going to need one of her special baths sooner rather than later. Our intrepid film crew is in all sorts of trouble.

Of course, Bathory is our focus and there isn’t too much lore to give you – except one really weird bit. She bathes in blood (and also licks it up) and is clearly immortal. Because Daninsky killed Eleanor she is stuck at the castle (this isn’t further explained but I’m guessing that as the reward for his soul wasn’t paid – ie Eleanor getting better – it screwed the deal) until he gives Satan 6 souls, and he had killed 6 by the time she says that. The weird lore is surrounding the hypno-necklace as it turns out that pulling the necklace off makes her eyes glow, electricity spark and her blow up!

The film is poor, badly acted, had little to no atmosphere and a story that – despite some meandering – has been done several times before and much more competently within the Naschy back catalogue. Naschy himself has little to do in human form, just lurking around in the background and looking much older than the portrait of him that hangs in the castle. It was a waste of a man who three years later absolutely proved that he still had it, in the excellent short the Vampyre. I do have to say, however, that Michelle Bauer has aged very well indeed and looks absolutely fine in this.

The bottom line is, if you want to watch a Waldemar Daninsky story then go for one of the European productions and avoid this straight to DVD monstrosity. 1 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

EDIT 4/5/15: The film has been re-released (region 1) as the Unliving and the cover states it is uncensored and uncut.

It certainly does have extended sex scenes that maintain a degree of modesty but are certainly longer and more explicit than the first release (perhaps not as pained as a quick fumble then fade to black but undoubtedly gratuitous also). It is also around about 15 minutes longer.

As I re-watched I, at first, wondered whether I was a little harsh with the score but, honestly, with the impact on the Naschy legacy, the plot holes and the logic fails the score probably stands. However, if you are wanting the film for your collection you should go for the Unliving edit.

Changeling – Dark Moon – review

Author: Steve Feasey

First Published: 2009

Contains spoilers

The Blurb: Can Trey Laporte control his killer instinct?

First he discovered that he was a werewolf.

Then he joined forces with wealthy vampire Lucien Charron in a battle against the evil powers of the Netherworld.

Now Lucien lies in a coma and his gorgeous daughter wants her dad back. Trey is the only one who can save Lucien’s life.

But to succeed he must face his biggest challenge yet: a portal to the Netherworld, an Icelandic zombie, an evil sorceress, and Trey’s nemesis, the dark vampire Caliban.

The Review: Normally I don’t like to miss books out from a series, I’m a stickler for trying – whenever possible – to reading books in order. I have not, however, read the first book of Changeling but as I got the opportunity to get this book for free from Amazon – on their vine review programme – I launched into this with no pre-knowledge of the ongoing story.

This in itself is a test of a book as one then wonders whether the author will make the book accessible to a new reader not already invested in his series. I had no problem getting up to speed with the story or the lore behind this book but found myself facing some, in places, rather clumsy editing.

There is a section that discusses Gwendolin, the mother of primary character Alexa, and we become confused as to what the author is trying to say as it appears that Alexa both knows her to be alive and thinks her dead. In another part of the book a passing character (of no plot consequence) changes name from Liam to Brian and back and forth over a couple of pages. As I say, sloppy editing and one wonders, given that this is printed by a larger publisher, why they feel poor editing can be overlooked in a children’s book.

For make no doubt, this is a children’s book and if it failed, for me, it was because it remained at that level and didn’t straddle the nuances that separate children’s fiction and adult’s fiction. However I did feel it was probably (editing aside) a book that someone in the actual target audience might enjoy.

As for vampire lore we get very little. We do discover that vampires can mist, or move at such a speed that they seem to vanish from one place and reappear in another and that whilst they can rapidly heal, a bite from one of their own kind might often be deadly and it is a festering wound – from instance Caliban bit Lucien (in the previous volume) and that injury has the good vampire trapped in a coma. Luckily there is an artefact that can heal netherworld creatures.

All in all, probably fine for the kids, adults will find it lacking in character believability and more sophisticated nuances, plus Macmillan need to check their editing processes. 4.5 out of 10 reflects a low level mediocrity generally and I may have been generous.

The Twilight Zone – Red Snow – review (TV episode)

Director: Jeannot Szwarc

Release date: 1986

Contains spoilers

In this episode segment of the Twilight Zone, from season 1, we find ourselves in the USSR, travelling with one Col. Ulyanov (George Dzundza who you might recall from Salems Lot) of the KGB. As things begin we see him intercepting a dissident who has banned books and a letter to his mother. Ulyanov tells him he will end up in a gulag and yet, when everyone moves on, he posts the letter to the man’s mother.

Along with young agent Vladimir (Andrew Divoff) they meet with the Minister (Rod Colbin). Vladimir argues that exile to the gulag is too lenient and the man should be executed and the Minister agrees. When the younger man leaves the room the Minister explains that the young man has many friends in high places and passes Ulyanov a file about two party members dying in a gulag in Siberia. Ulyanov has cultivated no friends in high places, no one knows the real man just his efficiency – he is to go to Siberia to investigate the deaths.

It is midday when he arrives and the town is in darkness, wolves howl in the snowy forest. He is met by Party Secretary Povin and taken to the inn. The band stop playing as he enters and he announces that Moscow has forbidden the playing of gypsy music and so they must cease playing it – next time they are in Moscow. This seems to break the ice but a man, Titov (Vladimir Skomarovsky), calls them party snobs as they go past him. Povin remembers himself and introduces Mayor Titov. Titov wonders why he would investigate, one man was ripped apart by wolves the other cut his own throat.

Ulyanov arranges to meet Povin in an hour and steps outside. He sees a woman and asks her name, she seems familiar. She is Valentina (Victoria Tennant) an exile, but she says he wouldn’t know her. He meets Povin and, after a while, gets her file. According to that she was exiled by Stalin – 50 years before. Povin suggests that she is the original Valentina’s daughter. He checks the frozen body of the ‘suicide’ and – despite being in ice – realises that there is no blood in the cut on his throat – it was done posthumously. The other body has already been sent South.

Having realised that the supposedly abandoned church seems to be being used, he looks at where the bodies were found. He hears wolves and then it sounds like someone is in trouble. He runs to find a fanged Valentina feeding upon the wolf. He flees from the scene and is smacked round the head by a piece of wood, wielded by someone unseen. He wakes up in a room with Titov watching over him. The mayor suggets that he ran into a branch, in the dark, but Ulyanov is not fooled – he voices his suspicion, vorvolaka, and insists on seeing in the church.

The church is filled with coffins but they are empty. They are empty because it is dark, says Valentina who enters with a group. Povin has been turned – at his own request – and the human Titov explains that the vampires came during the war, exiles from their own land. They were feared and hunted at first but then the human exiles realised they had more in common than not. Now they protect them in the church during the summer and the vampires protect them during winter from the wolves and the occasional brigand. Valentina wants to kill the KGB man, though Titov thinks he could be sympathetic. It ends up with Titov and Ulyanov running from the church.

They are in the woods when they are attacked by wolves. The vampires come but too late for Titov. Ulyanov gives up but points out the vampires have no safe haven any more, Moscow will send more and more investigators and they will eventually win, they always do. He is a man resigned and Valentina suddenly realises the measure of the man who has tried to fight the system from inside but has been worn down. She offers him the power to fight back. When we see him next he is in Moscow again and he has told the minister the agreed line that the two were killed by Titov, but he has been eliminated. When the Minister leaves the room Ulyanov reveals fangs.

And that was the whole of the segment but it was worth relaying in totality because it was an excellent little story, set in the USSR and very well acted by all concerned. Indeed, one feels that the story could have been easily stretched to a feature. There was enough within it to have been of interest for longer. Worth catching 7 out of 10.

The episode's imdb page is here.

:)Q

Musical Interlude

The show Key of Awesome is part of Barely Political .com and every week there is a new music video.

This week they are singing about Twilight and the video is embedded below for your entertainment.

A bit of plugging…

Issue 5 of the always entertaining Ethereal Tales has just been released.

Also the Ethereal Tales audio book is now out and available. It includes my story, Setting the Record Straight, a revisionist look at Dracula. My story was wonderfully read by Sascha Cooper and at three cds in length the audio book is great value (and has a few other vampire tales on it).

Both the new zine and audio book (as well as back issues of Ethereal Tales) can be purchased from Cute n Creepy.

The Flemish Vampire – review

Director: R Kan Albay

Release date: 2006

Contains spoilers

It is always nice to discover the more obscure vampire movie and, to be honest, this Belgium vampire flick is pretty darn obscure – at least over here in the UK – being the first Flemish vampire movie (according to the DVD case). The film tries to do something a little unusual with the genre – kudos for that – unfortunately it also manages to fall flat on its face, as we shall see.

The film begins with a written explanation in respect of Vlad Tepes and hints that Tepes, after fighting the Turks and being betrayed by the West, led an army of vampires on a bloody rampage. Pope Pius 2nd, King Charles and Sultan Mehmet 3rd met and formed a secret alliance to destroy his evil. The three men who came along with Mehmet were djinns – they never returned home.

After this we are in the modern day and we see various people who, to be honest, seem to have little to do with each other at first. We see a vet named Frank (Miel Heirbaut). We see a young woman who, much later we discover, is named Anne (Monica Verhofstadt) and is the daughter of Frank and Ursula (Angel Van Saet). We also notice that some of the exposure is overly bright and this is not good.

We see Frank return to his surgery, where he receives a phone call asking him details about vampire bats – I guessed by his son for a thesis. We also see what appears (and turns out to be) preparation for a play. In the actual theatre are Tony (Brahm Shah), Veronique (Sofie Dykmans) and Jack (Youri De Bruyn). Outside the door people cannot get in as the door appears to be locked. There is an understudy (Victor Zaidi) who will take on the role of the baron in the play – we see him at home. The play is about vampires and angels.

The film cuts back in time and we see a man, Johan (Sven De Rider). His wife seems possessed, his father fears the worst and has called for a friend – whom we see approach the house, with a companion. When the friend reaches the house they go to see the woman. He holds up a cross and she reacts, fanged, to it. The cross is also a stake and he quickly despatches her.

Back to the present and we discover that Anne and Veronique are lovers. Anne has not told her father yet and Veronique is impatient as she wants them to live together. We also discover that Tony wears a Muska – a pendant to protect him from djinn. It seems that he came from a village where belief in djinn was very real and tells that stabbing a dagger into the ground, where a djinn has stood, will immobilise them. Djinn can only be killed when possessing a human.

So, Ursula lets slip about Anne being gay and Frank goes nuts. He calls homosexuality a disease, wants Anne to have medical treatment and is trying to call her, but she is in rehearsals and hangs up on him. Ursula distracts him with her womanly wiles but pulls a dog tag with a cross on it from his neck. This seems to set a train of events off – starting with a mirror smashing, of its own volition, downstairs. We start cutting back in time and discover that the friend, who killed the vampire, was one of the djinn and that he surrendered to Vlad in order that he might die. Frank, in the present, goes to see Anne and tries to wear the dog tag again. However the cross on it burns his hand.

We are really quite far into the film now but we finally get to the crux of matters. Frank is Vlad. He has started passing time by becoming younger, marrying a woman and convincing himself that he is mortal. He lives his own deception. Anne – being his daughter – has her own vampirism awaken when his does (being of his blood). She attacks Veronique – though later we discover that she can chose who will rise as an undead and who will remain dead after she attacks.

The understudy is the last remaining djinn. The djinn goes through life, sleeping in a mortal body and only awakening when Vlad is near. The film seems to culminate in their confrontation but it is disappointing as it is two middle aged men unhappy with each other and issuing threats, with the djinn immobilised. As for Vlad/Frank – well he gets a funky eye and face thing going on, sparingly used it has to be said. Crosses burn and ward – because vampires believe they will – the mirror smashing seemed to be a nod to standard mirror lore and a stake through the heart will kill.

The film hits several problems but lets start with the biggest – it goes nowhere slowly. The filmmakers came up with a brilliant concept of a vampiric Vlad and djinn hunting him but actually the film meanders along, sometimes surreally as we see the play and sometimes rather boringly as we get lost in the minutia of things such as a broken lock (to get to the stage area) that served little purpose. Aspects such as Frank’s homophobia, for instance, added nothing to the film except to make a plot reason for him going to the theatre. There is little pace and less atmosphere. Even in the past flashbacks the atmosphere is lacking, despite the unusual colours used in the photography.

The sound is another issue – dialogue sank into the background, becoming lost at times. It seemed a microphone issue, a problem from when the sound was recorded, and felt amateurish. Even though I was watching with subtitles (as I don’t speak Dutch) this annoyed me. The acting is nothing special and the entire thing becomes a good base idea, looking for a purpose and failing to find said purpose. The flashes to the past seemed unnecessary, though eventually the point was made (that there was only one remaining djinn). I mentioned the surrealism and whilst the film is surreal, in places, it felt like a self conscious effort to add weirdness to the film to try and disguise a lack of narrative.

I’ll give this 3 out of 10 – as I appreciate the idea that lay at the heart of this film, its just a shame it never really made the most of the opportunity.

The imdb page is here.

Weird Vampire Tales – review

First published: 1992 (collection)

Editors: Robert Weinburg, Stefan R Dziemianowicz & Martin H Greenberg

Contains spoilers

Weird Tales was an American pulp magazine first published in 1923. This is a collection of vampire stories taken from EDIT: this and similar magazines and was recommended to me by regular visitor and friend of the blog Anthony Hogg.

There are thirty stories in all and, I must admit that I found the first couple a little bit of a slog but this was due to the use of phonetics within the dialogue to simulate accent. However, this is a minor quibble as the volume as a whole didn’t follow such a line, plus it contained some fascinating stories and some great lore. I, personally, was struck by some of the sci-fi/vampire crossovers and found at least one story I might consider adapting to audio drama script – at some point in the future. Adaptation of stories is nothing new, of course, and in the volume you will find Everill Worrell’s The Canal, which was the basis of the Night Gallery episode Death on a Barge.

I do not intend to go over every story in the volume but do want to look at a few favourite moments.

Edmond Hamilton’s story Vampire Village, which was published under the pen name Hugh Davidson, contains a nice idea. We know that in Dracula there is the concept that on the Eve of St George’s Day all evil holds sway. Hamilton wonders as to why it would be said that vampires would walk on this night, as they can walk on any night? The answer; it is not the normal vampires at large. All over Transylvania are vampires bound within their graves by the actions of the clergy. On that night all of them can rise from the grave, breaking the bonds that bind them for just one night of the year.

In a visual medium, as far as I know, it was Dan Curtis who brought the concept of the reincarnated love into the vampire genre as a main theme in Dark Shadows. I, the Vampire by Henry Kutner is a much earlier written example of the concept being used – dating back to 1937.

Return of the Undead, by Frank Belknap Long and Otis Adelbert Kline, is about a practical joke that goes horribly wrong but has the interesting concept that it is dangerous to look at a vampire right after it has feasted and thus the stake should be thrust through the coffin lid and into the vampire.

Stragella, by Hugh b Cave, has the idea that a tattooed crucifix could ward a vampire and Robert Bloch’s The Cloak was clearly a prototype for the vampire section in the portmanteau film the House the Dripped Blood - especially when we realise that Bloch wrote (that section of) the film's screenplay. When it was Moonlight by Manly Wade Wellman has Edgar Allen Poe as a central character and William Tenn uses science, and a blood substitute, to enable vampires and humans to coexist, long before True Blood, in She Only Goes Out at Night.

This is a fascinating look into some of the more obscure areas of the genre. Yes it is pulp, but pulp can be very entertaining and very genre defining. Recommended as a collection, 8 out of 10.

Vamp or Not? Jennifer’s Body

So Halloween night and I went to a preview of Jennifer’s Body – which, given it was Halloween, was very poorly attended but perhaps the movie going public were down the corridor in the re-showing of American Werewolf in London.

Now it was always my intention, once I'd seen Jennifer’s Body, to do a ‘Vamp or Not?’ When it first started appearing on the radar there was a teaser poster that was clearly rather reminiscent of the branding used for True Blood.

Now, on the surface this isn’t vamp, it is demon. Jennifer (Megan Fox) is taken by an indie band and sacrificed to Satan in order that their dreams of superstardom might come true. Unfortunately they believe her to be a virgin – a supposition that, whilst confirmed by her friend Needy (Amanda Seyfried) and by Jennifer herself, is very far from the truth. The film creates lore that, if a virgin sacrifice happens to not be a virgin, those conducting the ritual will still get their boon (so Satan is rather uncharacteristically generous in this film) but a demon will inhabit the soul of the sacrifice.

Now we have a person killed and brought back due to a merger – if you like – of her soul with a demon. Actually such a demonic basis for vampires does have precedent, in Buffy the Vampire Slayer for instance. Clearly Jennifer is now undead and has also developed cannibalistic tendencies – so what is that all about? Jennifer must eat human flesh – though, whilst they say that, when we actually see her feasting we actually see her cupping her hands into a ripped open midriff and supping.

Remember that many versions of the vampire myth have the consumption of flesh as well as, or rather than, simple blood drinking. Jennifer does develop a maw of fangs when she attacks and ties the attacks in with sexuality – though she also seems to thrive on the victim's fear and hopelessness. The cannibalistic act makes her indestructible, she burns her tongue and cuts her arm purposefully at different moments and both injuries heal instantly. It also makes her look at her absolute best. When hungry her skin pales, she gets dark shadows round her eyes and her hair becomes limp and lifeless. The feeding maintains her undead state and, whilst she doesn’t wait too long between feeds, we can assume a continuing decay if she didn’t.

There is a point in film when Jennifer tries to eat a (cooked) chicken and hurls black demonic bile – why that was the case isn’t actually explored in detail, so we can only assume that normal food is now off the menu. Getting back to blood, there seems to be a psychic connection between Jennifer and Needy (certainly during one kill) and this may be down to the fact that Jennifer pricked her finger as a young child and Needy removed the tack and sucked the blood from the puncture; a scene designed to show the birth of their friendship but with a blood element included.

There is a funky eye thing going on, but that could tie in with a variety of supernatural creatures. We get a further power of levitation as well as a definite neck bite. She can be killed – though this is easier when she is hungry. To kill a demon you must stab the host through the heart – okay, that is straight out of the vampire handbook! We also discover that should someone be bitten by a demon and survive, the survivor gains some demon like powers – such as levitation and super strength. Thus we have the transference of power, which whilst not full turning is again rather vampire genre.

The film does not use the V word, at all. It does use ‘Demon’ and also (but this seemed irrelevant) ‘succubus’. However the basic lore this creates is rather vampire genre reminiscent and whilst screenwriter Diablo Cody might have been trying to not write a vampire genre screenplay, it is essentially what she did. This brings us to the question of was the film any good? A lot of the criticism I have heard levelled against the film was within the dialogue and the fact that no real person speaks in the ‘youth speak’ way portrayed. The dialogue was delivered naturally enough by the principle leads but it did stick out like a sore thumb as being unnecessarily trying to be clever and failing to capture anything like real youth speak. That said I could live with it (and it did provide moments of humour). Unfortunately there was also a tendency for the script to be too self-aware, too obsessed with being clever for clever’s sake.

It did seem to me that, for a film named Jennifer’s Body about a character who clearly (as a character) didn’t mind getting naked, we saw very little of Jennifer’s Body. The horror moments within the film seemed somewhat too sparse also – probably because rather than being a straight horror it tries to be something more. It was nice to have some consequences shown, not only larger consequences but also scenes of Needy mopping up the black demonic bile, for instance, and being left with stains around her nails the next day.

This wasn’t the best film I have seen – not by a long shot – but it was alright and it definitely steals its essence from the vampire genre. The imdb page is here.