Short Film: Blood for Dracula

This Richard Redmond directed short film comes in at just over 10-minutes and was posted to YouTube in 2015. It is a spoof advertisement for ebaybodyparts dot com.

It starts with Dracula (Douglas Zimmer) chilling next to a crypt as he spies Moira (Lori Franzese) in the cemetery. Moira comes over and asks whether he is the actual, factual Dracula (he confirms in his faux-Lugosi accent that he is Count Dracula) and offers the observation that he looks sad.

Douglas Zimmer as Dracula

Dracula admits that he is, indeed, sad and is questioning his undead status. He laments being able to not get wholesome blood – there are too many contaminants these days and lists out hormones, drugs, alcohol and disease amongst a long list. Unfortunately, one of the throwaways is anti-trans (he mentions men who are women and it being confusing… I’d like to think it was a deliberate satire but, and bearing in mind this is amongst factors as to why blood has gone bad, I think it was just a poor line that underlined a lack of trans awareness and thus managed to Other being trans).

Lori Franzese as Moira

Anyway, that line aside, Dracula also points out that the sub-optimum diet has had side effects such as allowing him to go out in the sun. Moira asks him why he doesn’t use ebaybodyparts, who not only supply body parts but also blood, guaranteed disease free and with their DNA service he could get blood of a Transylvanian heritage. That’s great, of course, but Dracula isn’t tech savvy and he still has access to eye mojo…

At the time of writing an IMDb page could not be located.

The Panther Women – review

Director: René Cardona

Release date: 1967

Contains spoilers

In truth, when I started watching this Luchador movie I wasn’t expecting to review it, I was just looking forward to some Mexican nonsense with lycanthropic Panther women. It is just that, but it also had an aspect where I felt that there was at least the use of tropes and the more I thought about it the more I knew that there was a vampiric aspect. The film itself kind of felt like a clone of a Santo movie, but it is great fun if absolute nonsense.

the cult

After credits where we see stills of a female wrestling match we cut to the cave-like lair of a satanic cult whose spiritual leader, in ages past, Eloim (Ángel Di Stefani) was killed by a man named Pietrasanta using the Sword of the Druids. The cult has killed the descendants of Pietrasanta and there are four left and it has been decreed that they must die by the full moon. What we later discover is that they are going to use the blood of the descendants to resurrect Eloim’s corpse.

out for drinks

Cut to a wrestling match with the tag team of Golden Ruby (Elizabeth Campbell, Wrestling Women Vs the Aztec Mummy) and Loreta Venus (Ariadne Welter). The latter is one of the descendants of Pietrasanta and her uncle, Professor Rafael Pietrasanta (Jorge Mondragón, Santo in the Treasure of Dracula), and cousin Ramón (Genaro Moreno), are watching the match. They invite them for drinks after the match and we discover that Ramón is a widower with a daughter, Paquita (Elena Saldívar). However, he has recently found love again – we recognise his new lady friend Tongo (Tongolele) as one of the cult.

transformed

After drinks they go back to the Professor’s house and (never one to miss tipping off a victim) a letter has been left for the Professor saying he is going to die. He tells his son and the wrestlers about the legend of Pietrasanta and actually has the sword. The younger guys don’t believe it. That night the professor decides to put the sword over Paquita’s sleeping form. A shame as we later discover it serves as an apotropaic against the cult and so he may not have died if he's kept hold of it. As it is he is subsequently jumped by one of the female cult members transformed into a panther (in a cut price outfit sort of way).

El Angel with radio watch

The gang are interviewed by cop Arturo (Eric del Castillo, the Empire of Dracula). It seems that a wildcat attacked the Professor (or so the cops believe) but Ruby tells Arturo what the Professor told them and the cop decides to get a friend to help with the case. That friend is El Angel (Gerardo Zepeda, Santo vs. la hija de Frankestein & Santo and Blue Demon vs. the Monsters). Now El Angel is a masked wrestler, inventor, crime fighter with a radio watch (very Santo) and a new cape of his own invention that is bullet proof and fire proof – that’ll come in handy.

using blood to raise Eloim

So the vampiric element is around Eloim being brought back with the blood of his enemies and he is reanimated by pouring the blood from the first two murdered descendants into his coffin. He needs the blood of the others but, as we see him, he is a desiccated corpse and one might call him a revenant. The blood is, of course, from a certain family of victims but it is blood nonetheless. The Sword of the Druids can kill him again – causing him to burst into flames when stabbed.

almost a revenant

This is nonsense but it is such good fun. El Angel wears a mask because justice has no face. We get a cowardly policeman sidekick as comic relief and wrestling in and out of the ring from El Angel, Ruby and Venus. Like many Luchador movies, it isn’t great cinema, but it is fab for a watch. Definitely check this one out, as derivative as it might be it is worth your time – though probably as a film it deserves 5 out of 10, the fun is greater than the sum of its score.

The imdb page is here.

On DVD @ Amazon US

On DVD @ Amazon UK

Alberto Breccia's Dracula – review

Artist: Alberto Breccia

This edition: 2021

Contains spoilers

The blurb: In this wordless, full-colour collection of satiric short comics stories, an internationally acclaimed cartoonist chronicles the waning days of the most famous vampire of them all. Alberto Breccia's Dracula is composed of a series of brutally funny satirical misadventures starring the hapless eponymous antihero. Literally defanged (a humiliating trip to the dentist doesn't help), the protagonist's glory days are long behind him and other, more sinister villains (a corrupt government, overtly backed by American imperialism) are sickening and draining the life out of the villagers far more than one creature of the night ever could. This is the first painted, full-colour entry in Fantagraphics' artist-focused Alberto Breccia Library, and the atmospheric palette adds mood and dimension. It also includes a sketchbook showing the artist's process. Dracula has no co-author, and so Breccia's carnivalesque vision is as pure Breccia as it gets. Created during the last of a succession of Argentine military dictatorships (1982-1983), this series of short comics stories ran in Spain's Comix Internacional periodical in 1984. The moral purpose of Breccia's expressionistic art style is made explicit; he shows that every ounce of his grotesque, bloated characters' flesh and blood has been cruelly extracted from the less fortunate.

detail

The review: It was Adrien who turned me onto this and I am so very glad he did. This is an English edition though the comics themselves have no dialogue – the titles and in-art phrases (such as graffiti) are translated and yet, despite the lack of dialogue, these are so expressive. Breccia was an Argentinean comic creator who lived through the various dictatorships – the chapter I Was Legend most openly satirises this. He could also see the US hand behind the scenes – the first chapter the Last Night of the Carnival includes a superhero (clearly styled on Superman) interfering with Dracula’s activity and yet failing himself, with the superhero clearly representing the view the US has of itself (not forgetting the necessary collective swig of the kool-aid to summon said view).

This Dracula seems to be symbolic of a time before the dictatorship – corrupt in and of himself and yet ineffectual when compared with the modern (at the time) regime, making him a figure of farce but also, rightly, the repository of undead memory. The artwork is what makes this and Breccia’s style is glorious, making the hardback edition a truly beautiful edition to a collection. This, however, is one to explore yourself. This edition contains a sketchbook to explore Breccia’s methods. 9 out of 10.

In Hardback @ Amazon US

In Hardback @ Amazon UK

Short Film: Teething

I think that the thing I liked the most about this 9-minute short by Glen Matthews, released in 2020, is the fact that they managed to get over the fact that main character John (Hugh Thompson, Chapelwaite) has some form of neurological disorder without saying so in dialogue. It is projected in his motor-function skills and frustrated reactions and it is all power to Hugh Thompson’s performance.

As the piece starts, we see him pull his car up and get out, drawing his jacket from the back seat. He enters the hospital he works in and nurse Mary (Ayesha Mansur Gonsalves, Hemlock Grove) starts speaking to him.

Hugh Thompson as John

He doesn’t respond, concentrating as he is on punching a code into a keypad, she speaks about her frustration with her ward, Bethany, and her crying – though she realises that she is teething. The film then, for a short while, follows John and between the direction by Matthews and the performance we are shown a picture of the man and it is lovely film work. At the same time we do see Mary walking the halls carrying the swaddled baby.

the vampire

John is drawn to the nursery as the baby’s cries begin again. He does shout for Mary but, concerned, turns on the light and we see what had been a dark shape revealed to be a creature, fanged and clearly having fed on Bethany, blinking in the bright light… What will happen with the creature, could a baby survive and where is Mary… all points are answered in the very worthwhile short film.

The imdb page is here.

Dracula on Holiday – review

Director: Robbie Moffat

Release date: 2021

Contains spoilers

This is a strange one, and no mistake. A Scottish film, set in Scotland and clearly shot (in part) in Scotland, but when the primary characters go to the village near which they are staying, the scenes were shot in Marazion, Cornwall – recognisable by landmark buildings (and the name of the town on one establishment’s sign). Why this was the case is unclear, after all there are plenty of picturesque villages that could have been locations in Scotland. Not that it’s the hugest issue in the world, but it struck as odd.

breath-taking landscapes

The film starts off with a voice-over by Lucy (Suzanne Kendall) who talks about it being a time for change and that her love, known as miserable, was – she hoped – going to change in outlook and attitude as they went on holiday to Scotland. This is a chance to rediscover life, it is suggested. This is followed by a voice-over by Renfield (Chris Bearne) who muses that his master is a serial killer.

Lucy and Renfield

They arrive at a train station, Lucy and Renfield on foot and a coffin contains Dracula (Ed Ward). A couple of blokes (described as gypsies) arrive and carry the coffin as the other two follow – Lucy sheltering beneath an umbrella. Eventually – having stopped several times – the gypsies push the coffin down a hill. Vlad emerges from his coffin – his hands hiding him from the direct sun. However, despite the rude awakening he is rather taken with the land.

waking Dracula

This feeling is only increased when they reach the castle he believes they are to stay in (there are lifts in the dialogue directly from Stoker’s novel at this point) but they do not stop there. They continue to a small cottage – this is the holiday home that has been booked and Vlad is not impressed. Nevertheless, he tries to make the best of it for Lucy’s sake. Renfield has purchased some blood sausage for them and, despite reservations, Dracula discovers he really likes it.

the Time Warp...ish

So there isn’t much in the way of plot, rather a series of interrelated encounters including meeting Flora (Edith Glad), daughter of one of the village undertakers, and another vampire, Wilmena (Apple Yang), wife of the other undertaker. Lucy becomes quite taken with young Flora. We discover that Lucy and Dracula aren’t married as his estranged wife will not give him a divorce. We also get Dracula in cape and speedos on the beach and a bootleg version of the Time Warp that was so blatant they might get away with copyright issues as it was arguably parody.

Wilmena and Lucy

For the most part the acting is pure ham, so much so that stagey seems too generous a word and yet the affectations worked in an odd way. It would be fair to say that the primaries seemed to be enjoying themselves and spread the luvvie-ness in thick slathers. The humour is inconsistent but does work some of the time. This was non-offensive for the most part but it won’t set the world alight either. 4 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

Short Film: Shallow Graves

This short comes in at 13.5-minutes, was directed by James Stark and was released in 2020. It is a neat little film that manages to use familiar film scenarios to broadcast its general direction and allow it to build a world that feels impressive for the short run time.

Lawrence and Johnny

It starts with Johnny (Corey Landis, Dracula Reborn) and Lawrence (Juan Blasquez) digging a grave in the desert, there is banter between the two and we get the impression they are “wise guys”. They go to the boot of the car, retrieve the body of Valentine (James Chrosniak) and lay him down in the ‘bed in the dessert’.

out of the grave

They drive to a nearby gas station and Johnny goes to call the hit in to their boss. Meanwhile, as Lawrence eats, he sees a familiar Hawaiian shirt go past. Valentine is up and walking. Lawrence tries to shout for Johnny when the man, blood on his chest, goes into the gas station and emerges with sun glasses and walks away. Johnny eventually returns to the car and is disbelieving of the news… the car fails to start…

James Chrosniak as Valentine

Valentine gets to a diner and, despite the blood on his chest, waitress Maya (Adelaide Lummis) takes his order – cereal without milk, he prefers it that way. Of course, there must be a reason why he is ambulatory (and given the nature of this blog you can guess). Things come to a head when Drew (Mar Sudac), the wayward son of the new sheriff, comes into the diner with his cronies and starts harassing Maya and, of course, Johnny and Lawrence could come in at any time…

cereal, no milk

This was great fun – the wise guys and the delinquent did use standard movie tropes but that shorthand helped concentrate the viewer on the broad brushes of the story. It was done with a sense of class and the vampire aspect was neatly underplayed.

The imdb page is here.

The Name of Fear Collection: Tales of Anton the Undying – review

Author: Scott Harper

First published: 2022

Contains spoilers  

The Blurb: Rome may have fallen, but its greatest hero still fights to keep the supernatural world in check.

Once a powerful gladiator, Anton is now a vampire enforcer tasked with eliminating creatures that expose the secret supernatural society hidden within our world. But not all monsters are willing to lay low—some passionately yearn for a return to the good old days when they fed openly and dominated humanity. These diehards will go to any lengths to achieve their goal, even if it means destroying Anton. But Anton guards a terrible ancient secret, and those foolish enough to challenge him soon discover there are things even monsters fear.

The review: An original series of stories by Scott Harper, what this collection lacks for in length is more than made up for in crisp, pithy prose that were a joy to read. The author develops an urban fantasy world, with vampires very much at the top of the food chain and primary character Anton the enforcer, or Cacciatore, for his sire and Mortark (or supernatural leader) Bregit. The vampires are powerful in this and thus the enemies they face equally powerful and the stories give a great grounding in the world the author has shaped for the novels. We also get a strong background for Anton – a gladiator before being turned – and all this conspires to make a fine opening for, what I assume to be, a series of stories.

The lore sees a vampire’s aptitude impacted by their first kill and, after the use of a stake to paralyse, they are killed through the trusty triumvirate of behead, immolate and scatter the remains in flowing water (the latter helping to dissipate the dark magic that animates them). They are shapeshifters and can slip through small openings or increase their size.

I really enjoyed this foray into the world of Anton the Undying, was heartened by the inclusion of a mythos aspect, with an old God, and look forward to future stories. Tempered with the fact that the volume is short, 8 out of 10.

In Paperback @ Amazon US

In Paperback @ Amazon UK

Vampir – review

Director: Branko Tomovic

Release date: 2021

Contains spoilers

Very much a folk horror vibe with this low budget exploration of the vampire, and rightly so as writer/director/star Branko Tomovic wanted to explore the folklore as came out of Serbia. What that essentially left us with was a film that relied more on atmosphere than narrative – though the lack of express narrative is absolutely deliberate and builds into that atmosphere. It has the languid pace, perhaps, that is not uncommon with some folk horror and I suspect that how much a viewer will get out of the film will depend upon how much they like such pace.

walking in to the village

It starts with a view from inside a car as it passes through the Serbian countryside. As it pulls up, we realise it is a taxi. The driver (Dusan Jovic) addresses the passenger Arnaut (Branko Tomovic) but Arnaut does not speak Serbian and the driver makes no attempt at English. However, he does make it clear that he expects being paid and Arnaut to depart the cab. Evidently the driver will go no further and this is, of course, a genre trope we are familiar with.

Gorica Regodic as Vesna

Arnaut walks to his destination where realtor/broker Vesna (Gorica Regodic) awaits him. She speaks English and shows him round the house that is to be his home. As the conversation goes on we discover that he is of Serbian descent but grew up in Germany, where his parents had emigrated to and he had lived in London for some time. The blurb on the IMDb page suggests he witnessed a crime in London and has chosen to move away.

taken for the tour

He is then taken out the back of the house and shown the adjacent graveyard. This is to be the site of his new job – custodian of the graveyard. The locals like to put out offerings to the dead and gypsies have, in the past, stolen the offerings and this has escalated to grave robbing. He is to make his presence known a couple of times a day, to put the thieves off desecrating the graves. The graveyard itself, crowded and overgrown, adds a whole layer to the atmosphere.

dance

Vesna leaves, having told him there are provisions but he finds very little and so walks into the village and goes to what looks like a café of some sort. However, he is told that there is no food and so he orders a beer. The waiter brings him a glass of red wine (as others there are drinking) and he watches a traditional dance. When it finishes the lights go off, the patrons leave and the place is closed.

portraits

The film develops by deliberately building an uncanny atmosphere. For instance, he finds a book (in Serbian) which manages to launch itself on the floor and, inside it, he finds a series of photographic portraits but the subjects’ eyes are scratched out (later Vesna comes searching for the book). On the second day he goes into the village and buys (in an ill-stocked shop) eggs, bread and meat. He eats part of the bread going home and it seems fine but, once home, when he cracks two eggs both have large amounts of blood in them and then he sees that the bread is utterly mouldy and the meat in the fridge is rotting and crawling with maggots – all within moments of getting home.

village women

At night things become more disturbing – at one point he awakens to find an old woman (Eva Ras) forcing her stick in his mouth and then bleeding from her mouth into his and, on another evening, she actively tortures him – and yet her smile suggests there is a reason for her attacks. The only English speaker he meets is the priest (Joakim Tasic) who admits that his church is not well attended and might not be the friendly ally he appears to be. The language barrier that Arnaut faces is also faced by the viewer as none of the Serbian is subtitled and this helps generate the paranoid atmosphere underlying the film. Sometime we only have Arnaut’s reaction to rely on – with us not seeing what he evidently sees.

the bite

There is a vampiric attack in this, as the film moves to its climax, but for the most part it is an exercise in atmosphere, be that generated visually through the village/graveyard, through the odd villagers (for instance the three young village women who stare at him at one point), through the odder incidents and in his paranoid reactions as everything builds. Arnaut is left out of touch with the outside world (there is no mobile reception in the village and no means for him to get to the next village). But through this there is no great narrative story and that might put some viewers off, the languid pace might also. If you can enjoy that in a film then this is an interesting folk horror film. 6 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon UK

On the 3rd Day – review

Director: Daniel de la Vega

Release date: 2021

Contains spoilers

When I say contains spoilers, I mean great big blooming ones as this is a film that deliberately hides its vampiric credentials until the end. So, from me to you, apologies – apologies as just putting the film on this blog spoils it, but perhaps not as much as the act of putting the film on Shudder (and on the US Blu-Ray I understand) in dubbed form has actively attempted to murder it, with some of the worst dubbing I’ve been witness to for a while. Overall, however, I’d rather spoil this and let you know because, despite the atrocious dub this is worth watching, with some great visuals (though dark for screenshotting), a Eurohorror vibe and a really neat variant of the mirror trope.

Gerardo Romano as Enrique

The film starts with Cecilia (Mariana Anghileri) getting young son Martin (Octavio Belmonte) ready to go on a trip, the fact that she lets him forgo showering and doesn’t answer when he asks if dad, Fernando (Diego Cremonesi), is coming lets us know something is wrong. Elsewhere a man, later revealed to be a priest named Padre Enrique (Gerardo Romano) is told to transport something – hopefully for the last time.

the crate

The pair end up travelling along different sides of a night time highway. For genre fans the crate in the back of the van will be ringing clanging bells as to the nature of the contents. Cecilia passes a stranded driver Lucia (Verónica Intile), who tries to wave her down for help. She drives past but then looks back, distracted, and spins off when she sees the truck coming at her. The truck hits the car...

at the service station

Cecilia, who we last saw wide eyed as the truck bore down on her, opens her eyes in a disused building. She is wearing her coat but her top below it has vanished. She looks to escape. Elsewhere we see a couple of elderly gas station attendants preparing dinner. These two underline what I mean about poor dubbing, the voice acting is (I’m afraid, and sorry) third rate. The old man is putting food out for the dog despite the dog having vanished recently. He sees Cecilia stumble towards them. Cutting to another scene, we see Padre Enrique leave his truck, immediately after the crash, and Lucia is over the bonnet – he comments that it is not her blood (on her).

threatening Cecilia 

Cecilia is in hospital and slowly wakes up. In another room the on-duty Dr. Pastori (Lautaro Delgado Tymruk) deals with an elderly patient. He hears a disturbance and it is Fernando who is demanding to know where his son is. As things develop Pastori is told that Cecilia didn’t surface until three days after the accident and Martin’s whereabouts are unknown. The film plays with a nonlinear aspect and so we see Padre Enrique who seems to be torturing/questioning Lucia somewhere whilst also seeing what happens with Cecilia. She seems to see Martin in mirrors and has flashbacks as she pieces her memory back together. It appears that, panicking whilst hiding in the elderly patient’s room, she smothered the woman, though when the body is found her face is twisted in fear.

the Ancient

Pastori gets drawn in, trying to help the woman, taking her to a hypnotist (Osmar Núñez) to try and recover her missing memories, the abusive Fernando goes missing and an aging detective Inspector Ventura (Osvaldo Santoro) is also trying to find her and piece the mystery together. The answer is clearly occult – that much is evident through the film and, being here, it all surrounds a vampire called the Ancient (Mathias Domizi), who was imprisoned in the crate.

Verónica Intile as Lucia

When we finally see the Ancient, we get a very tall, Nosferatu like creature, with long clawed fingers. It is a fantastic look and works exceedingly well. There is significance to Padre Enrique suggesting it is not her blood to the insensible Lucia and we see that a blood transfer is needed to turn someone. There is a price to immortality and that lies in mirrors, which show the vampire their victims looking back at them. I really liked that as a piece of lore. Religious objects ward them, sunlight seems to burn and, to be sure they're dead, decapitation is the order of the day.

scared to death?

Again, you have my apologies for the massive spoilers but this film does deserve to feature here and take its place on vampire filmographies. It looks wonderful, I enjoyed piecing the nonlinear aspects together and we know, deep down, what is going on (one way or another) but need the film to confirm to us. It is such a shame that the dubbing is there – I really feel it harmed the film and has likely cost points (I’ll know when I get to see it in the original Spanish). You should note also that there is an end credit scene. 6.5 out of 10 (and hopefully more if an undubbed version gets released).

The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Shudder Via Amazon UK

Short Film: Feed Your Muse

From director Brendan Beachman, this 2020 short is just over 18-minutes in length and, despite broadcasting its punches, builds up a nice atmospheric film with a neat little twist in the tail.

Andrew (Zachary Ray Sherman, Blood Wars), is an aspiring writer who has a block. He tells a friend about a yard sale that is due on soon.

The sale is stuff from the estate of a local writer who hit it big with one novel but then stopped. Andrew can’t understand why he wouldn’t write a second and figures there must be manuscripts or notes that he could perhaps use himself. He gets to the sale but the author’s daughter (Jocelyn Hall) suggests there is no undiscovered writing. Andrew spots a strange looking statue – she hates it, her father bought it in Greece and called it his muse.

The statue

The direction of travel isn’t hard to spot. Andrew buys the statue and puts it in his room. He starts to suffer from sleep paralysis, feels tired, drained and has a mark on his chest but is writing, and the writing is inspired. A return to the daughter indicates that after her father finished his book, he put the statue into the attic and never looked at it again. Andrew is working towards a book deal but at night, more and more, he seems to see the statue move until one night it (Kyleigh Hoye) is on his chest…

Zachary Ray Sherman as Andrew

This played neatly with the idea of sleep paralysis and the myth around creatures sat upon the chest. The creature has a long tongue with a barb, which is reminiscent of a couple of myths and I’d suggest the implication is that it is sucking blood but also that there is a transference of lifeforce – this is Faustian in that, in return, he is being given inspiration (noting that American Horror Story connected vampirism and artistry recently, also). The mention of Greece obviously connects to the mythological Muses. All in all, this is a neat little short.

The imdb page is here.

Stay Out – review

Director: Jeff Carroll

Release date: 2022

Contains spoilers

This is a low budget film that, in its just under 70-minute running time, does plenty wrong and yet has something that might have been built upon. It involves the Polonia Brothers – as a production company and one of them is involved within the filmmaking also. They are known, of course, for their zero budget films and I can say, at least, that this is better than their dreadful How to Slay a Vampire.

opening fangs

Before I go into the film proper, I have to point out that this seems to want to riff on Jordan Peele’s marvellous Get Out – the titles are similar, the poster art is reminiscent of the earlier film and there is a race aspect, along with a look at interracial relationships. This film opens with some (I assume stock) footage of Miami and that then moves into some more nightmarish imagery that includes fangs. If the rest of the film had carried the tone of the opening, then this would have been a better effort.

Caitlin and Tyshawn

After the credits we are in a car driven by Tyshawn (Fransley Hyppolite) – a note on the actors, I hope I have attributed them to their roles correctly, neither the IMDb page nor the closing credits connect them to character and I had to google and hope to find corresponding pictures to identify most of them. In the front is his girlfriend Caitlin (Celine Alva) and Paul (Dante' DiGiacomo) is in the back with girlfriend Nikayla (Bianca Glemaud). They are off to spend Spring Break in Miami. To the viewer it becomes quickly obvious that the opening Miami shots were indeed stock footage… but stock footage with a much crisper and superior standard of photography.

Paul and Nikayla

They lose GPS and start to discuss racism – assuming the area they are in is white supremacist. Here I had one of the biggest problems with the film. Not the messaging around racism but the dialogue, firstly for being badly written – and delivered, though to be fair it might have been the quality that impacted that, given it didn’t feel natural at all. Secondly this was incredibly on the nose – Get Out could conceivably be accused of being on the nose also but it was first and foremost a brilliant deconstruction, fantastically acted, inventive and incredibly well written. This, however, just throws the concepts it wishes to discuss at you without nuance – the message is good, the conveyance of the message clumsy.

Jenna

I need to mention that the scenes in car seemed odd because there was no view through the windows. Be that as it may, they get a flat tire. They fix it (no sign of a jack in any scene with a wheel, by the way) and then they get another flat. There’s no cell service and so they walk to a motel (that looks more like a community hall with bar). In the hall are the two oddly acting custodians Jenna and Bradley (who Tyshawn describes as being robot people) and, having been told there will be no rescue until the next day, they get the beers out and aim to make the best of it. 

The gang

One by one they vanish and the first to go is Paul, who looks for a toilet and doesn’t come back. Nikayla goes looking for him and we get a convoluted journey through locations that would appear to be unconnected with the building the primary location is in and utterly failing to correspond with the outer establishing shot. Along corridors she goes, then in a lift (up, I’d hazard) and then immediately down stairs, outside amongst abandoned looking vehicles and then through corridors again. It feels wrong. Anyway, she finds him unconscious, tied and being bled into blood bags…

female vampire

As for the vampires… At the end of the film we get a highly suspiciously delivered exposition (one of the friends wakes and the male vampire decides to tell her everything for no good reason) that reveals they are Nosferatians from a planet with a black sun – so they cannot go out in our sun. They find blood vastly improved due to human sun exposure, however. They have also worked out how to posses bodies, to allow them to walk in sunlight (another Get Out parallel with a mind taking over a body). They seem to have also created zombies that appear at the finale.

everyone caught by the vampire

So, too on the nose with its messaging, a rather blunt instrument, and really poor use of locations that seemed to be mashed together without a care as to whether it felt right. There are day for night shots that feel more like day and confuse the timeframe the film purports to be in. The dialogue feels unnatural (for Bradley and Jenna this is purposeful but it is the dialogue for the protagonists that really lets this down). Yet, despite it all it didn’t outstay its welcome and I wanted to like it. 3 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Amazon UK