Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: Revenge of the Monsters: Review

Directed by: Nicholas Filippi

First Aired: 2000

Contains spoilers

This is yet another Buzz Lightyear (Patrick Warburton) that features the robotic energy vampire NOS-4-A2 (Craig Fergusson).

This time around we begin with outtakes from the episode Wirewolf, enough to remind us that Ty Parsec (Steve Hytner) had been bitten by NOS-4-A2 – itself not an issue due to the fact that he is not a robot. However the unique radiation of the moon Canis Lunis caused him to turn into the robotic wolf, the wirewolf.

The flashback is a projection by robotic ranger XR (Neil Flynn) and the rangers are in a hearing. The commander of Star Command, Nebula (Adam Carolla), decides there is no choice but to relieve Parsec of duty as he may be a danger to others – despite the protests of Buzz’s crew. Suddenly XR’s evil prototype XL (Bob Goldthwait) breaks in to kidnap Parsec. As the Rangers jump on XL, Buzz tells Parsec to run.

Ty does indeed run, straight into the clutches of NOS-4-A2, who places a pendant of Canis Lunis rock around his neck. He transforms into the Wirewolf and NOS-4-A2 hypnotises him into submission. Suddenly the Wirewolf breaks into the chamber and frees XL and with NOS-4-A2 they make their escape. Buzz would be after them but NOS-4-A2 has drained the energy from their ship.

They head to the palace of the evil Emperor Zurg (Wayne Knight), where NOS-4-A2 vampirises the robotic hornet guards and usurps the throne. Zurg is left with the hope that Buzz will save the day (and thus he will be able to take back his empire of evil). Meanwhile XL has to build a weapon, which the wirewolf is a key component. The beam from the weapon will turn those struck into wirewolves also. With half his crew turned it is looking tough for Buzz.

The joy of the episode is it is, again, filled with knowing nods towards standard horror/vampire genre staples. In this case it is the relationship between vampire and werewolf and the werewolf being the tortured soul. It is no big spoiler to say that Buzz saves the day – I won’t spoil exactly how – and through this we get a stake through the heart moment for our robot vampire.

Is this the end for him? It is difficult to say. There are two episodes with NOS-4-A2 that we have not looked at yet, though they might come before this. However, according to IMDb, whilst this episode aired after Wirewolf it was actually from a series prior to that containing Wirewolf… confusing but not a reason to not enjoy this for what it is. 5.5 out of 10, the kids will love it and adults will find it a guilty pleasure too.

The imdb page is here.

The Forsaken: Desert Vampires – review

Directed by: J S Cardone

First released: 2001

Contains spoilers

This is yet another movie, which has languished within my collection un-reviewed for quite some time. Not because of the quality of the film but just because I hadn’t got around to it.

I was once told that this film was, allegedly, a remake of Near Dark. If that were the case then it failed, however I have found no evidence suggesting that it was a remake of that excellent piece of vampire movie history and so we shall henceforth ignore that and move on. Not that this is particularly original as a movie, in its own right, but it isn't Near Dark and does manage to hang together well enough in its own right.

We begin with a girl, Megan (Izabella Miko), in a shower and covered in blood. Perhaps it was just a gratuitous excuse for a quick bloody boob shot but the scene was peppered with flashes of violence and blood, of knives and guns and defilement. This is important as much as we get quite a few moments of flashes – due to the telepathy shared by the vampires in this.

Sean (Kerr Smith) wants to go to Miami, for his sisters wedding. To get there he manages to get the job of delivering a $50k Mercedes. His trip seems okay until, having just had a boob flash by a girl in another car, he gets a blowout. At a garage he is told that the rim will need bashing out and it’ll take a day to get a tire. His wallet has vanished – but he has money in an envelope for a wedding present. He gets a motel and, following a strange dream, notices a car outside and strange noises, almost animalistic, from the room next door.

In the morning he picks up his car (the motel room next to his seems to be attracting flies and there are smears of red on the drapes, he doesn’t notice that but does notice that the car has gone). A hitcher, Nick (Brendan Fehr), asks for a ride. Sean refuses (it’s a stipulation of his delivery contract) until Nick offers to pay for gas up to his destination. A brief misadventure occurs with local law enforcement but nothing too serious, however it is clear that Nick sees himself as a disenfranchised member of generation X.

They stop at a rest stop and, when they get out of the bathroom area, there is a group of people around the car – and they are clearly our vampires. Now the film doesn’t make all the names clear but they are Kit (Jonathon Schaech), Cym (Phina Oruche), Teddy (Alexis Thorpe) and the daylight servant Pen (Simon Rex). They need a jump start, which Sean gives. He asks them if they were at the motel but they deny it. As they guys drive away Cym states that Nick is a hunter, Kit knows this.

They go to a bar to eat and Nick has a very rare steak. He goes to the bathroom and Sean spots a girl looking nervous – Megan – one minute she is there, the next she has vanished. When they get outside she is clearly worse for wear and trying to get a bus with no ticket. A waitress comes out as she has not paid for her coffee. Nick pays for the coffee and tells Sean to get the car. Reluctantly Sean goes along with things. They get a motel room and Nick says she is infected – he’ll explain but he needs ice. He strips her, finds the bite (just below the panty line) and places her in a bath. He sends Sean foreven more ice.

Out in the desert some youths are having beers and firing a gun, generally doing the things that youth do in this sort of flick. The vampires appear and ask for a beer. There is an altercation that leads to Kit punching through the torso of one of them and removing his heart. Back at the motel Megan reacts, as the violence begins, even bleeding from the nose. She starts to scream and Sean has to put his hand over her mouth as Nick deals with the motel owner. Nick tells Sean she is infected with vampirism – it appears she bit Sean’s hand and he passes out.

In the morning, when he comes around, Sean is not feeling good but will hear nothing of vampires. As it is they killed the motel owner and took a room the night before. Nick takes Sean to their car, knocks out Pen and has Sean open the boot. Teddy leaps out at him and then the sun takes hold of her and she quickly burns up. It is then explained that Nick is also infected, holding the infection off with drugs.

It is a telegenetic virus, thus there is telepathy between the infected and should a source be killed, before full turning, the infected will be cured. The source, in this case, is Kit – a Forsaken, one of 8 French knights. 9 knights survived a battle at Antioch. During the night the demon Abbadon came to them and offered them eternal life – 8 gained that eternal life by sacrificing the 9th. They were so ashamed that they hid the next day in caves (hence the sunlight bit). Over the intervening centuries 4 have been killed and 4 remain; 2 in the Americas. Killing vampires involves either sunlight or beheading, Forsaken must be killed on sanctified ground.

There is a connection between Megan and Kit, thus Nick is using her as a homing device and wants to head to a nearby Spanish Mission. The use of an infected person as either a vampire lure or tracker is nothing new. Let’s face it Stoker invented such an idea in Dracula, with the link between the Count and Mina. However, I was reminded, given the setting, of the plotline in Vampires - not to worry the Vampires' sequel, Vampires Los Meurtos, would go on to steal Forsaken’s “drug cocktail holding back the infection” idea.

The film doesn’t do too much new, but what it does it does with competence. The acting seems very down to earth and there is some nice meaningless violence. For some reason Jonathon Scheach, in looks, reminded me of Chris Sarandon in Fright Night and I was kind of taken with the idea of a French Crusader, turned vampire, creeping around and singing Metallica (Enter Sandman). We could have done with a deeper look into his character.

The soundtrack was loud and brash – perfect for the MTV generation it looked to represent. The film itself was never going to win major awards but it does everything it sets out to do. The film set itself up for a sequel but, given it didn’t happen closer to its release, I doubt one will ever emerge. 6 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

Honourable Mentions: Body Double

This is a Brian DePalma flick from 1984 and probably the best way to describe it is the bastard offspring of Hitchcock’s Vertigo (1958) and Rear Window (1954). That is if the child hit puberty during the eighties and decided that all the excess of the eighties were worth adopting and making its trade mark.

DePalma manages to take the voyeurism of Rear Window and make it incredibly sordid, to the point were hero of the piece Jake Scully (Craig Wasson) seems somewhat tarnished and his antics – at one point – become almost painful to observe for the viewer and yet it is drawn in such a way that we can't help but watch him watching.

The film is also amusing referential of Hollywood, the acting profession and the porn industry, for instance, when Jake is asked if he has done anything good (as an actor) he mentions a role in Hart to Hart – which Craig Wasson had been in. The film manages to be rather surreal at times. The set of a porn film actually transmogrifies into a Frankie Goes to Hollywood video and Holly Johnson himself is there singing Relax to Jake, who is playing a role in said porn film. Paul Rutherford from the band is also there.

Jake starts off the movie by having a really bad day. As a camera pans across a film set graveyard, going through the earth to the coffin in which a vampire lies. The eyes flick open and we here the director, Rubin (Dennis Franz), giving instruction but Scully does not respond – he is claustrophobic and the coffin set is a problem for him. Soon he has gone home to find his girlfriend enthusiastically riding another man, falls off the sobriety wagon and, eventually, loses the role in Vampire’s Kiss.

Things seem to pick up when he meets Sam Bouchard (Gregg Henry), another struggling actor who is going away and needs to sub-let the rather plush home that he is house sitting. He points out the neighbour in the nearby mansion, Gloria Revelle (Deborah Shelton), a woman who likes to perform for herself and who can be seen, voyeuristically, through a conveniently positioned telescope. This is the cue for Jake to be drawn into a most surreal murder – but the surreal nature of the situation actually works in the film’s favour.

We get a little more vampire action at the end, as we see some more of Vampire’s Kiss being filmed – including the use of a body double for breast shots. This also allows us to have a full on Crap Bat Syndrome moment – with visible wires and everything. Interestingly, we see the credits of Body Double running over the take of Vampire’s Kiss in a way that really worked nicely.

Interesting, if uncomfortable, crime thriller with an appearance of Melanie Griffith as porn actress Holly Body and a bit of a vampire moment book ending the films – albeit the filming of a vamp movie.

The imdb page is here.

Trailer: Daybreakers

This is one that has been on the radar for a while and has such acting names as Sam Neill, Ethan Hawke and Willem Dafoe involved. Everlost over at Vampire News picked up on the trailer.

Set in the near future where a plague has turned most of the population into vampires, the main resource is running out – humanity and the blood we produce. To a degree it sounds almost like where I am Legend might have left off after society had been rebuilt (and if there had been more than one survivor) and by the look of the trailer it seems to be what Ultraviolet failed to be.

Originally slated for a September 2009 release, some websites are suggesting this has fallen back to Jan 2010, but the trailer has piqued my interest and I actually think I might let myself get a little excited about this one.

First Impression – Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)

Based on the anime from 2000 and completely ignoring any of the lore or background the subsequent series Blood + introduced (as the series is deemed alternate universe), this Chris Nahon directed film is the latest vampire offering to hit the big screen and, given the pedigree of coming from the producers behind Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, I was hoping for something a little special.

Unfortunately, what I ended up with was a film desperately looking for an ending, some general storyline clichés, bad cgi and a bit of a problem with the actual action. This does include spoilers but the story was thin enough to mean it doesn’t really matter.

The film, set in 1970, starts of with promise, a scene on a subway train in which Saya (Gianna Jun) despatches a demon (the term chiropteran is lost). The scene was faithful to the anime and gave an opening atmosphere that worked well. She is met by her contact from the mysterious Council, Michael (Liam Cunningham), though subordinate Luke (JJ Fields) believes that Saya has killed a human and is out of control. The undercurrent of distrust is not explored deeply enough in the film and so when said distrust is used as a plot device it feels too plot-lite.

Saya is a halfling – as they term it in this – half demon/half human and like her demonic brethren needs blood to survive. The Council provide bottled blood for her and in return she despatches demons as she searches for the one called Onigen (Koyuki). There have been three murders at a school on a US airbase and Saya (despite being older than all the Council operatives put together) is sent undercover. At the school we meet Alice (Allison Miller), daughter of base commandant General McKee (Larry Lamb).

There is a lesson where Frankenstein is discussed and Alice’s insights into the nature of the monster is obviously to make her open, as a character, to interacting with Saya later. Saya quickly gets a sense that two of the students are not all they seem. Alice is left to 'spar' with said students by aikido instructor Powell (Colin Salmon, who was in the Tales of the Crypt episode Cold War), clearly they aim to kill Alice. Saya has checked their records – for what purpose, given the records will be forged, isn’t actually revealed – and comes to the rescue, locking Alice out of the room and killing the demon girls.

The blood is very cgi but I could live with that for the point is made that demon and human blood are different. The fact that it looked almost lumpy worked – it just didn’t work later, when we saw human blood and it looked the same! Alice has spied the events and gets her father but the Council operatives (posing as CIA) are already on the scene, cleaning up. Alice follows Powell who very quickly reveals he is a demon – as is everyone in the bar he is in.

Saya to the rescue once more and a rather large action scene that was marred a little by fast cuts and some camera shakes, though it also went into slow-mo at times. All told it wasn’t that bad, compared to some, and some of the film techniques were clearly used to disguise the fact that Gianna Jun is not a martial artist. However, I just expected more from a film from these producers. After Saya has despatched a lot (and I mean a lot) of demons, Powell changes into his true form and nicks off with Alice. This leads to a roof top chase that was spoiled by the fact that the cgi was so bad. The true demon form was badly created and the actual interaction with the set looked too cartoony. Following this he tries to fly off and we get a runway chase, which takes us to where the original anime ended (of course there were elements not in the original during this first section, as described).

And here we fell over. It became a film looking for a plot, a purpose and an ending. Some of the flashback scenes to Saya’s youth worked – especially a ninja demon battle involving her companion/trainer Kato (Yasuaki Kurata). There was a Luke and Darth moment with Saya and Onigen that was just so obvious as to be clichéd and thus not a spoiler – after all her half demon side had to come from somewhere. There is a set piece with a truck that seem lifted from Underworld Evolution, which then morphs into the train piece from Wanted – though was more satisfying and less film damaging than the Wanted scene.

The ending just kind of petered out. The film wanted to do clever things – the human character is called Alice and there are references made to Through the Looking Glass but the script failed to capitalise on this. There was a moment when, despite having seen her fight and heard her called halfling, Alice feeds an injured Saya her blood and we wonder why she would do that, where did this knowledge that Saya would need this come from? The acting wasn’t brilliant, though that might have been as much to do with script and direction as it was to do with the actors' skills. Gianna Jun seemed dour, perhaps even stoic, and distant but that works for the character.

It sounds like I am down on the film but it certainly isn’t the worst film I’ve seen at the cinema this year – Lesbian Vampire Killers will take some beating where that dubious honour is concerned – but it failed to be what it might have been. The imdb page is here.

Vampire Assassin – review

Director: Ron Hall

Release date: 2005

Contains spoilers

There are two things desperately wrong with the DVD cover of this film. Firstly it is how much the figure on the cover resembles Blade, long leather coat, shades, katana and glave. If I were Marvel, I’d be a little concerned that my copyright had been impinged. The second thing is that if this is meant to be main character Derek Washington, as played by writer, director Ron Hall – well let us just say there are some delusions with regards body image.

We are in low budget vampire land again and this one, let me tell you, was a struggle. I mean I really just wanted to fall asleep as I watched it, but not in the pleasant embrace and warm cocoon of the lullaby, rather in a desperate attempt to relieve the boredom that spread through my bones at an alarming rate.

It starts off in a scene from the past as vampire hunter Gustoff Slovak (Mel Novak) hunts down loads of vampires. Note the electricity arcing from them when they die… why? There is never an explanation so I guess it is down to the fact that they wanted a death effect but didn’t have the budget to pull off dusting. Looks silly though… Anyway, it was a night that would change everything for hunters – or so we are told. Why? Because Slovak tastes the blood of a vampire… Would it cause him to turn? Well that’s not much of a secret as we find out in a couple of minutes that he is the baddy of the movie.

Washington is a cop in a car and tries to summon his teams. No one answers – something has gone wrong, he tells himself and subsequently us (in case we missed it). Does he call for backup? Oh, no he’s straight in there with no regard for his own safety as that is just the type of guy he is. In the house there is a small fountain (presumably producing blood) as well as blood on the floor, with a ring… the significance of which was lost on me. Slovak appears and uses telekinesis to push Washington over. He is found by other cops and put on administrative leave for talking vampires.

Now, online I discovered that his father had been murdered and he was witness to it as a child (we know his father is dead from the dialogue, but little else). As a result he has a fear of blood – that one wasn’t evident at all. Seems that Slovak was called Jackoff – which, whilst not the same as the imdb character name, seems more relevant (EDIT: of course this was some wag's idea of a Wikipedia edit joke and it has been corrected since) – and a counterfeiter. All this came from the Wikipedia stub - none of it was related by anything within the actual film.

In film he meets an internet news person called Samantha – she was a pointless character generally. He tries to enlist the help of a group of slayers, who start off saying they ain’t cheap and within seconds are trying to kill him for no good reason… that is until he slips, or bumbles more like, through a door and then they declare that they have underestimated him. Don’t forget about them, he’ll fight and kill them all later, even though they are all meant to be vampire slayers!

He goes against Slovak on his own… Attacking the vampire isn’t difficult as he knows where he lives! However he gets himself captured – and as an aside at least they kept him locked down with chains, rather than use a small amount of tape as in Vampire in Vegas. He is rescued by a student of famed vampire hunter Master Kao (Gerald Okamura) and becomes a reluctant student of the weird old guy.

Why reluctant? Well it seems he feels that he can do this on his own – except he clearly can’t, he had to be rescued once already and he went to the mercenary vampire hunters for help. Whys and wherefores are lost, however, in the on rush of inconsistencies and bad dialogue – on rush is generous, to be honest, its more like playing spot the story and when you do realising that it is inconsistent with the last bit you managed to spot. He was right to be reluctant, however, when it turned out that Slovak trained Kao – but I’d given up trying to work out any rhyme or reason when that one was revealed.

As for lore. We do not get too much. A bite will turn someone anywhere between 24 – 48 hours. Unless you are a cop, bitten in an all out assault on the precinct (that looked suspiciously like a warehouse). In that case you’ll turn in minutes so as to add peril for the hero, and then you might even turn if the vampire shot you rather than bit you! Slovak has telekinetic powers, but none of the other vampires appeared to have such gifts. Slovak can stop bullets by flicking his cape – which just had me thinking of batfink ("Your bullets cannot harm me! My wings are like a shield of steel!" - and all that) that brief thought of a childhood cartoon character was probably the most enjoyable bit of this for me!

Washington can chant incoherently and make water become blessed. How? Who knows and, in fact, who cares? I have already mentioned lightning exuding from slayed vampires and I think that’s about all folks. The acting was wooden throughout and I suspect that Samantha was dubbed. The martial arts was poorly choreographed. This is a turkey, avoid. 1 out of 10 awarded for the sheer audacity of the DVD cover. Incidentally, the cover of my edition is exactly as that pictured above but for a flash that says "full screen" and the title is shown as Vampire Assassin in singular rather than the plural as the cover pictured shows.

The imdb page is here.

On DVD @ Amazon US

On DVD @ Amazon UK

Dunraven Road – review

Author: Caroline Barnard-Smith

First Published: 2009

Contains spoilers

The Blurb: “In the sleepy backwater of Dunraven Road, a group of hedonistic friends are trapped in a deadly prison of their own making. When Zach, their enigmatic leader, brings his long term plans to fruition and paves the way for a sadistic vampire cult, their fragile world begins to break apart. Fuelled by dangerous passions and an insatiable craving for ‘red’. The group must decide whether to succumb to the sweet lure of the abyss, or stand and fight for their very survival.

The review: In her acknowledgments, Caroline Barnard-Smith refers to her own book as “this strange little novel” and indeed it is that – though that is not necessarily a bad thing. Indeed this is quite an unusual piece. As the novel begins we are in a world (despite senior citizens being killed in a manner that the press calls Vamp Attacks) focused upon the beginnings of a fledgling vampyre type group – one that we know will become murderous at some point.

Most of these young people are hooked to a drug called red – a liquid hallucinogen with very addictive qualities and the thickness and consistency of blood (we later discover the source of this). However what I found was that the characters were fairly non-sympathetic. Zach is a sadistic and petty character, his friend Justin came across as a doormat, the two girls Kirsty and Sapphire come across as victims and a criticism could be that there isn’t a strong (human) female character. We also have Paul, a junky and self destructive artist, unrequitedly in love with Sapphire and beholden financially to Zach, his dealer.

The non-sympathetic nature of the characters fit within the bleak worldview of the disillusioned and disavowed generation X, but made it difficult to find one to pin your attention to. Paul and Sapphire are placed in the centre of our world view as a reader but I did struggle to care for them. Enter the vampires.

We end up with two groups, the Ancient Order are evil vampires manipulating events for their own ends. These are our real vampires (as opposed to the good vampires I will mention, rather than as opposed to the mortal wannabes). The lore is sparse:

“…‘Shouldn’t the sun burn you, or something?’

“‘Myths and fables… …Same goes for garlic and wooden stakes in the heart. Fire will hurt us, or starvation.’”

We also discover that a trauma to the brain is also deadly. The vampires can take on the form of another person and they use red as a way of making victims placid. However the Ancient Order are not the force they once were. There are few new vampires created and feeding in a world where technology seems pitied against them, cameras line the streets and DNA can be tested is proving more and more difficult. They are shades of what once they might have been.

The kin are good vampires – actually described as vegan. They subsist on a concoction made of fruit juice and herbs. In fact the concoction actually seems to have kept them rather healthy. They fear the Ancient Order and hide in plain sight amongst humanity. There were interesting characters amongst the vampires who, perhaps, could have withstood some more exploration – though their enigmatic nature was perhaps the point.

There is a very strange and unusual form of slaying that is introduced but I will not spoil the book by saying any more. Its unusual nature, however, fit in well with a book best described as quirky. 6 out of 10.

The Legend of Blood Castle – review

Director: Jorge Grau

Release date: 1973

Contains spoilers

I have read that this is one of the most accurate tellings of the Erzsébet Báthory story. It is not. Not for the inaccuracy twixt film and history/legend but because it isn’t the Báthory story at all. It is made clear in the dialogue that this Erzsébet (Lucia Bosé), who is a marquise not a countess, had an infamous ancestor who bathed in virgin’s blood also called Erzsébet. Indeed her surname isn’t given but we can assume that she and her husband Karl (Espartaco Santoni) share the name Ziemmer.

Thus this is inspired by the Báthory story – and the main character is inspired by her crimes – allowing Grau to move into uncharted territories and giving a license to do what he liked with the story, with impunity, though he takes many elements of the legend. He also plays with other traditional vampire myths and historical vampire stories. It is this rich detail that really makes this film, although there are times where there are so many concepts one wishes that he had paused for breath and explored them a little more, and the detail starts in the first scenes as the opening credits roll along.

We begin with a procession of villagers and a naked boy upon a white horse. Karl, watching from a window, calls this the Test of the Horse and it is an immediate launch into traditional vampire detection methods – where a virgin horse ridden by a (naked) virgin is used to find the vampire’s tomb. This occasionally appears in films (in a variant, at least). We saw it in the 1979 Dracula and also referenced in Subspecies. This sets the tone of the film, exploring a lot of traditional elements whilst also referencing the more modern vampire that came from literature.

The grave of the vampire is found and dug open. We see the corpse, arms upwards fingers bloodied (as though trying to get out of the coffin after being buried alive, I’ll return to this). Without thought he is quickly staked and blood comes to the mouth. We see a young girl, Irina (Raquel Ortuño), approach a guard. She asks him to collect some of the vampire’s blood for her when the crowd has gone. She gives him a bribe and a pitcher in which to collect it. Witchcraft? The film does have hints of witchcraft but this part is based on traditional vampire myth.

We see Irina and her friend Inge (Ghike) making bread with the blood. This is blood bread – a traditional vampire deterrent and we can quote the entry in the Vampire Encyclopedia: “The custom found in parts of Poland centuries ago, where bread was supposedly made from the blood of a vampire. Considered a powerful means of protecting one’s family from attacks of the undead, the bread was made by gathering a small amount of blood from inside the coffin of a destroyed vampire, normally possible because of the great amounts of blood that were said to gush from the body. The liquid was then baked into a kind of bread. Consuming it was said to make the person invulnerable to the vampire.” Interestingly Inga is not meant to be there, she is not of the household, but then the housekeeper (Ana Farra) gets more upset when it is apparent the girls method of making the bread is incorrect.

A magistrate (Ángel Menéndez), with a name in the English language dub suspiciously like Helsing, arrives at the inn. He is intercepted by Karl who craves intelligent conversation. At the castle Erzsébet complains about becoming old and the housekeeper mentions the acts of her ancestor – whose husband preferred making war. Karl prefers his falcons and we see a glimpse of Karl becoming obviously excited as a falcon rips its prey apart. In the inn Karl goes to bed. The innkeepers daughter Marina (Ewa Aulin) is clearly interested in him and an old witch, Carmilla (lola Gaos), gives her a love salve. She goes to Karl and he is interested, but he grabs her neck violently and it is clear he is a psychopathically sadistic individual – she leaves his room. In the morning the witch looks at Karl and tells Marina that death is in his eyes. The reference in character name to Carmilla needs no further comment.

The magistrate is there for the posthumous trial of the vampire and this is interspersed with the actions of Erzsébet. For convenience I shall split these up. The vampire’s corpse is in the courtroom and his name was Plogojowitz (imdb suggests Plojovitz) – a reference to the case of Peter Plogojowitz, a historical vampire case from 1725. He is questioned (of course he does not answer) and witnesses are called. Of those officiating Karl seems amused by the concept of a vampire but Doctor Silas (Silvano Tranquilli) is fiercely unconvinced. He mentions plague and Plogojowitz being buried alive (presumably because of his bloodied fingernails). Later he quotes Voltaire who stated that vampires were actually userers and their ilk who “did not live in cemeteries, they preferred beautiful palaces”.

Carmilla talks of a parchment, potion and pendant she sold to Plogojowitz. The pendant was cursed, all who wore it died within a year, thus she never wore it herself. The most damning evidence comes from the widow Plogojowitz (María Vico) and her daughter Nadja (Franca Grey). Nadja states that her father came to her after his death and kissed her – not as a father kisses a daughter. He then bit her neck, to drink her blood, and shows the cut left behind. Later Karl realises that the marks are from the broken links on a chain she wears. Plogojowitz is sentenced to be beheaded, his head burnt and the ashes scattered in the river. After the trial Karl determines to wear the pendant to disprove the curse and collects the potion and parchment from Plogojowitz’ home.

Meanwhile Erzsébet has, in anger, struck Irina and the resultant nosebleed splattered her hand with blood. For a few moments it seemed that the skin became whiter. She tries to use dove’s blood – something Irina uses to firm her breasts – but it has no effect. The housekeeper suggests maiden’s blood is necessary. During these scenes we get more evidence of Karl’s instabilities as he seems to be on the verge of violence with Inga before letting her leave his home.

Erzsébet experiments by arranging for an infant girl’s hand to be cut. She rubs the blood on her face – even licking at the blood from the corner of her mouth. Later we hear that the experiment was successful but, of course, how could she possibly avail herself of more blood. Interestingly, unlike Hammer’s Báthory adaptation, Countess Dracula, Grau does not have Erzsébet getting very noticeably younger. This might all be in her own head and when she later ages, it is how she sees her own reflection. It seems to me, given how strong the references and research was in the film that this was a commentary and vampires and reflection - though in this case it meant that she couldn't stand her own reflection.

Suddenly Karl is dead and placed in the family vault. Then Erzsébet helps the man from his coffin – it is clear he is alive and well. The jump jars and almost feels as though part of the story is missing. Actually the events leading to this are relayed at the end of the film but it did make the story jerk cinematically. Essentially he fakes his own death, using Plogojowitz' potion to put himself into a deathlike trance, and has agreed to help Erzsébet get the blood she needs, thus renewed youth, in return he gets to leave (it seems with Marina). It is clear that Plogojowitz was buried alive, having imbibed the potion, though I wish Grau had explored this more.

Of course I mentioned that it was clear that Karl was psychopathically a sadist and he seems to gain the (possibly sexual) release he needs from being able to act like a vampire and become a murderer. The villagers all believe the marquis has returned from the dead. There is an interesting moment, when he kidnaps and murders Nadja, that had bats being found on her otherwise empty bed – he had left the shutters open on the windows – causing the mother to scream. This, like the Dracula and Carmilla reference, was for the modern audience (boys later torture a bat calling it a vampire to underline this point) as bats were not really part of traditional lore. He becomes more and more comfortable with his role and we see both controlled and frenzied stabbings as well as an actual biting the neck open.

However, Erzsébet’s sanity struggles with the enormity of her crimes and her own guilt. She becomes haunted by the dead, although it is clear that these were meant to be no phantoms but figments of her own imagination, hallucinations born of the guilt she felt. Indeed, in many respects, Erzsébet could be seen to be the victim here – married to an emotionally distant husband, himself fighting his own violent urges, and encouraged by the housekeeper – whose motivations are unclear (but probably thought she was doing the right thing by her mistress). Of course she is still a criminal, a murderess though she did not kill any of the girls herself as she arranged their deaths for her own vanities.

There is so much referenced in this that the film is a vampire fan's joy. The film itself, unusually, has very little of the gothic sumptuousness that one would expect. Grau draws a cold film around us – and this works as the subject matter suits such coldness. The jump in narrative is problematic on first view – though after that one knows that the narrative has been less jumped and more delayed. As for the DVD, Mya Communications should be commended for making this available – but one thing irked.

Two scenes are restored into the English dub from the Spanish. As such they are subtitled, fair enough. The DVD has the Spanish, Italian and English soundtracks and yet no subtitles for the film (other than the two scenes). Other than that, ideally a digital restore would have been done but, all in all, it is great that they have made this rare piece of vampire cinema available. 7 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

Vampire in Vegas – review

Directed by: Jim Wynorski

Release date: 2009

Contains spoilers

Jim Wynorski is a prolific director with, looking at his imdb page, an eclectic directorial career which careens between low budget horror and softcore porn. We know him through Not of this Earth, Transylvania Twist and Vampirella – all of which have received low ratings when I’ve reviewed them. Tony Todd is an actor whom I have much time for and yet the times he has appeared on this blog... well one has to question why he got involved with such films as Bloodwars and Absence of light. We were not necessarily onto a winner with this flick, therefore…

The film begins with a hooded figure, candle light and much wandering around collecting bits of flesh in a cup. However there is a voice over and it is marvellous. It is splendid because the shadowy figure is Sylvian (Tony Todd, though in this scene we do not see his face and thus physically it might be James Richards Sr – Todd’s stand in) and the actor’s voiceover works. It’s the advantage of having a good actor, Todd’s voice is fabulous and his delivery excellent. The fact that the scene looks more than a little cheap is forgotten under his velvet tone. He gives us a bit of vampire society background as he makes a concoction to feed to a captured vampire – note that the captured vampire has rows of fangs, all the vampires later are of the two side fang variety – as he experiments, trying to create something that will allow himself to walk in the day. He fails – but that was then and this is now…

Out in the desert, near Las Vegas, a couple are camping. They hear screams – it is just before dawn. They investigate and see three women tied to stakes and a limo parked nearby. In front of the women is Dr VanHelm (Delia Shepherd) – a biochemist working for Sylvian – she has administered her latest concoctions and is waiting for the sun. In fact the sun less rises, than is high in the sky already and emerges from behind cloud – an issue in the film one feels. One of the vampires burns to dust, one melts to goo and one explodes. As the campers phone the police VanHelm is told that she is failing – she has three days to get a result.

Jason (Edward Spivak) and Rachel (Sonya Joy Sims) are about to get married. He is going on a camping trip with his buddies Dino (Frankie Cullen) and Eddie (Jonathon Conrad) – except his buddies are secretly going to take him to Vegas – and so, of course, they’ll soon discover that vampires are real! Dino’s gal Nikki (Brandin Rackley) doesn’t trust her bloke and so has put a GPS tracker on him so that she and Rachel can find out where they have really gone – that is called stalking in my book! The boys will get attacked in a vampire strip club (as you do or, at least, as many a horny young film character does) and Rachel and Nikki will get got as they stalk them into said club.

Now we throw into the mix two cops, Stanton (Ted Monte) and O’Hara (GiGi Erneta), who start investigating what seems to be a nothing case (alleged combustion of bodies in the desert) until they discover that the ash is human with bone fragments two hundred years old and the goo is human also – DNA matching a missing persons case. They are quickly converted into believers in vampires and go to see an acquaintance of Stanton’s – a mechanic who happens to confirm that vampires are real – it is a leap of faith (some mechanic or other who happens to be vampire slayer) tied to a plot hole (Stanton says that the vampires have killed 7 already and, given the film hasn't shown them 7 deaths, we wonder who, how and where!)

Why does Sylvian want to daywalk? He does so because he wants to run for Governor – and later President but by then he believes that vampires will rule the world (that's his modern reason anyway). His campaign is being run by Renfield (Bill Sunflower) and, mentioning Renfield, lets look at the lore (and the inconsistencies therein). A bite from one of these vampires will turn you – that is established – and the only way to prevent it happening is to kill the vampire who bit you. Yet Renfield (and a bent cop) are kept in line by being bitten – they call it their fix – but one wonders how they then do not subsequently turn.

Vampires can develop CGI wings and then woosh off faster than the eye can see, so no flying effects needed. Staking (as well as sunlight) seems to be a good method of killing these vampires – Jason gets one with a pencil. Drinking vampire blood, as a human, will also give you vampire powers. Presumably you are then turned or maybe not, as we get one person who has not been given the daywalk serum, in daylight with vampire powers but not burning. This might be another inconsistency or, more generously, he might not be fully turned. We don’t know.

Garlic affects them and also causes vampire goo to shimmer. As big a problem (as the lore/story inconsistencies) is the cheapness level of this film. The vampire expert shows the cops some stakes that he says are of such quality that they will not break on you but look exactly like bits of tat cut from cheap lumber (which is what they are). Sylvian needs to get some O –ve blood for VanHelm (because being a bio-chemist for a company with Government contracts precludes her getting it for some reason) and it comes in a baggie in the hospital.

Talking of Van Helm – her lab is a warehouse that you can knock on the outer door of, no security or anything like that. She has electrified fences in her lab to conveniently get fried on (like that would happen – remember this is not the mad scientists lair but a big company’s laboratory). When she has Jason strapped to a table because he has O –ve blood, he is less strapped and more gaffa taped – but the tape barely reaches over him – seriously sit up and he’d be free. At that point it was clear they just weren’t trying.

Plot inconsistencies, cheapness and some poor performances plague a film that is redeemed only by the presence of Tony Todd. His moments keep you mildly interested as his quality shines through, but all in all I’d have been no poorer as a human if I had never seen this film and no less entertained. 2 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

Hanno Cambiato Faccia – review

Director: Corrado Farina

First released: 1971

Contains spoilers

This is a vampire movie – though if you only give it a cursory look you might miss that fact. It is also one of the better films in which vampirism is a simile for capitalism and, in 2009, given the state that the neo-liberal capitalists have left the world’s economy in, its about time this film had a general DVD release, restored and subtitled.

The key to the film is in the title ‘They have Changed their Faces’ and whilst this is a cynical look at the evils of capitalism the actual key components are taken straight out of the how to film vampires handbook. Indeed there are moments that owe their very existence to Bram Stoker and Dracula.

Welcome to the world of Dr Alberto Valle (Giuliano Disperati), who works for Auto Avia Motors (AAM). He arrives at work and is called to the Vice President’s office, who takes him to the CEO of the company. The CEO tells him that the company’s owner, Engineer Giovanni Nosferatu (Adolfo Celi), has asked him to visit his villa in the mountains. Obviously the owner’s name needs no comment but I will say that the soundtrack, in parts, seemed reminiscent of the score for The Fearless Vampire Killers, I suspect deliberately so. Alberto drives through the Mountains until he reaches a village.

He calls to some peasant ladies, asking if a gas station is nearby. They ignore him. He steps out of his car and looks around. We are in the desolate village near the vampire’s castle – and a better location, than that shot, I doubt they could have found. He approaches an old man and asks about a gas station but is ignored again. A woman (Francesca Modigliani) says that she can take him, if he gives her a ride. Beneath her coat she is naked from the waist up. He asks who she is and she walks off. He gives her a lift and it turns out she is called Laura.

They reach the gas station, a place shrouded in fog. An attendant fills the car up but as soon as Alberto mentions Villa Nosferatu the attendant scarpers. The journey continues – with Laura reading his palm (it says he is something important, like a CEO). They arrive at the Villa and the gates are locked. Laura states it is a strange place, cold and no birds sing. A side gate is open but he will have to leave the car. Laura asks him to stay and make love to her, but duty calls. She says she’ll wait for him. He leaves the car keys with her – she should leave them on the dash if she goes. As he walks the path to the house two white cars flank him, though the drivers say nothing. We’ll discuss the cars soon.

He enters the house and the door locks behind him. He is turning the handle frantically when Corinna (Geraldine Hooper) appears and asks whether he wants to leave. She is Nosferatu’s secretary. She leaves him a moment and he takes a seat – an advert about the chair plays through speakers. When he is taken to his room and has a shower an advert plays about a shower tonic. Outside lots of white cars patrol and then, as night falls, he meets Giovanni Nosferatu. Dinner, it turns out, is made up of four pastes – all nutrient rich, but without flavour. Nosferatu had the flavour suppressed – food should be for energy, pleasure is inefficient.

Nosferatu excuses himself and Corinna takes Alberto for a walk in the park. He seems to see a body – she says it is a log, but he cannot approach as the cars prevent it. Inside Nosferatu is in his shooting range, we note that the targets grunt when hit. He offers Alberto the job of CEO of AAM and explains that he has many interests and needs the right men at the helm – Alberto can think about it for as long as he needs. When the house is asleep Alberto hears walking about, investigates and then explores. He walks along a corridor with capitalist mantras being played and finds a room with a nursery behind glass (including several babies) and a file. The file has his picture as a baby and states he will be CEO of AAM.

Shaken, he returns to his room. Corinna is there (she says the babies are those of employees, indicating it is a crèche like facility) and why shouldn’t Nosferatu research his employees. They end up in the shower together and then in bed together. When they make love a condom advert plays. However, contrasted with this scene, is one of Laura being dragged from the car and into the house. She is in a room and Nosferatu approaches her. He leans towards her neck and it might be a bite, we just cannot see that well.

I could go on but there are three scenes only I wish to mention – two for their vampiric overtones and one because it shows the brand of capitalism Nosferatu controls. The first is when Alberto discovers a half buried, abandoned graveyard. In it is a crypt and he enters it. The crypt has been abandoned for years, it seems, but he finds a coffin with the name Giovanni Nosferatu on it. There is a date (Alberto presumes of birth) of 1801 but no second date. I loved the way the filmmakers juxtaposed the ultra modern of the house interior with the decrepit, and atypical, gothic crypt.

The next scene was a business meeting that Alberto eavesdrops upon. It is of the chemical division – an area that is getting ready with a new LSD product now they have ensured it will be legalised, a concept that reminded me of Brave New World. One of the board is a Cardinal (ensuring that they are aware of the church opinion and we are rather pointedly reminded that the Vatican supported Mussolini through conversations before the meeting starts). Another member claims, during the meeting, that he has not had to discipline any staff as there are no disciplinary problems. Reading in breaks is prohibited for workers and Nosferatu has pictures of a worker reading in the toilet. Another couple (actually married) who work for the contraception division have been photographed having sex at work – when the manager suggests they use the pictures as an advert for Nosferatu contraception we see more pictures of them buying baby clothes. The manager is told to leave the villa, on foot. The woman is to be aborted, the man sterilised.

Walking out on foot means being run down by the guard cars and this leads us into the final scene I wish to mention. Alberto accuses Nosferatu of being a vampire and quotes the business man – myths do not die they get transformed. Nosferatu is dismissive of the idea but asks what Alberto will do, stake him? At first Alberto mentions the newspapers and the police, but Nosferatu owns them. He then suggests urban terrorism against the businesses and Nosferatu allows him to leave. As he walks, and the cars prowl, then chase and herd him back to the Villa, one is reminded of the scene of Harker trying to leave Castle Dracula and the wolves being at the door.

This is an astounding, dourly cynical film that side sweeps at the evils of capitalism and the dangers of power through money. This Nosferatu may have bitten Laura – we do not know, but we do discover she changes into conformity because of the incident – but he certainly sucks the life blood of society. He controls production, supermarkets, infrastructure, newspapers, the police and the clergy. Corinna will not enter the village church (and a peasant woman crosses herself when she sees her) but this is not further explored and just left to our imaginations and genre preconceptions to fill in the gaps.

It is cleverly written, well acted and excellently shot. The dull colours in the cinematography suit the mood of the piece and Farina manages to keep a sense of tension running through the entire film. One to really go out of your way to find – as obscure as it might be.

8 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.