Thursday, October 02, 2014

Taliesin's Worst 100

I’ve had a Taliesin’s Top 100 for some time, it’s a living list that changes as new reviews reveal films that deserve to be in that upper echelon of vampire films. What I never did was compile a worst 100 – until now. Things to note:

This runs as #1 being the worst.

These really are the worst – the absolute stinkers from the reviews over the years (though the worst does not have a review – even I could not watch it) and, in many cases, there is very little to separate one from another. Yet even then there will be something in some of these that appeals to some viewers. Sharp eyed readers will notice that I actually reviewed Blade: House Of Chthon as 0 out of 10 but that was for the set and not the content and so it does not appear.

These are all judgement calls on my part. Also, if I haven’t reviewed it yet then it can’t appear on the list. For that very reason any of the various, incredibly awful, adult vampire movies out there have not appeared as the TMtV policy is not to review such films.

Honourable (or perhaps Dishonourable) Mentions do not qualify for this list. In the Top 100 I did include ‘Vamp or Not?’ entries, but have decided not to do so for this list.

TV shows/episodes do qualify for the list.

I am hoping it will be dynamic as I see/review films not on the list.

One thing is certain, you will disagree with the list, iro inclusions, omissions and order.

  1. Geek Maggot Bingo
  2. Acid Head: The Buzzard Nuts County Slaughter
  3. Robo Vampire
  4. Barely Legal Lesbian Vampires: the Curse of Ed Wood
  5. Gypsy Vampire: The Final Bloodlust
  6. Counter Destroyer
  7. The IronBound Vampire
  8. Dominion
  9. How to slay a Vampire
  10. Tales from the Crapper
  11. Nosferatu in Brazil
  12. Sorority House Vampires from Hell
  13. the Dark Gift
  14. Malibu Beach Vampires
  15. Bluberella
  16. Treasure Chest of Horror
  17. The Spanish Inn
  18. Ankle Biters
  19. New Breed
  20. Dracula's Orgy of the Damned
  21. Party Day Massacre Stories
  22. Haunted Hotties
  23. Vampire Dentist
  24. Witchcraft VII: Judgement Hour
  25. Red Lips
  26. Mama Dracula
  27. Immortal Kiss: Queen of the Night
  28. I, Vampiri: Trilogy of Blood
  29. NightShadow: A Vampire's Chronicle
  30. Blood Slaves of the Vampire Wolf
  31. Gypsy Vampire's Revenge
  32. Gypsy Vampire 3: Freaky Friday
  33. Tender Dracula
  34. Devil's Dynamite
  35. Artifacts of Time
  36. Demon Queen
  37. Vampires and Other Stereotypes
  38. Scarlett Moon
  39. Night Hunter
  40. Skin Eating Jungle Vampires
  41. Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft
  42. Die Hard Dracula
  43. At Dawn They Sleep
  44. Vampire Blues
  45. Track of the Vampire
  46. Horror of the Blood monsters
  47. Saturday the 14th Strikes Back
  48. Psyched by the 4D Witch
  49. Vampire Ticks from Outer Space
  50. Gypsy Vampire
  51. Demons - season 1
  52. Zombies: the Beginning
  53. Red Lips 2: Bloodlust
  54. Vampire Sunrise
  55. Shira: the Vampire Samurai
  56. Addicted to Murder 3: Bloodlust Vampire Killer
  57. Dracula in Love
  58. Vampiyaz
  59. Bloodspit
  60. Vampire Cop
  61. Vampires on Bikini Beach
  62. Avia Vampire Hunter
  63. Vampire's Call
  64. Vampire's Call 2
  65. Vampire Junction
  66. Project Vampire
  67. Vampire Strippers
  68. Nosferatu vs. Father Pipecock & Sister Funk
  69. The Dreaded
  70. Loved Ones
  71. Sexandroide
  72. Dracula Vampyre in Beijing
  73. Vampire Holocaust
  74. Vampire Knights
  75. Dracula (the Dirty Old Man)
  76. Vampire Honeymoon
  77. Addicted to Murder 2: Tainted Blood
  78. 1313: boy crazies
  79. The Sisterhood
  80. My Son the Vampire
  81. Shower of Blood
  82. Son of Dracula (1974)
  83. Vampire Assassin (2005)
  84. Bitten: Victoria's Shadow
  85. Taintlight
  86. Vampire Whores from Outer Space
  87. Dracula in Vegas
  88. I Dream of Dracula
  89. Vampiro
  90. Gallery of Horrors
  91. Vampira
  92. Blood Kiss
  93. Dracula Vs Frankenstein (2002)
  94. Dracula Vs Frankenstein (1971)
  95. Blood Freak
  96. Twisted Tales 2
  97. Corpse Master
  98. Fist of the Vampire
  99. The Lost World: Vampires
  100. The Night Seekers


Alex. G said...

So many recommendations, so little time.

Taliesin_ttlg said...

Hi Alex. This list would be less recommendations and more challenges ;)