Nosferatu - A Symphony of Horror – review

Director: David Lee Fisher

Release date: 2023 (limited) 2024 (general)

Contains spoilers

David Lee Fisher ran a Kickstart for his version of Nosferatu back in 2014 (starting October 29th to be precise). It was a remix of the classic 1922 film, something he had done before with the Cabinet of Dr Caligari. To explain remix, I’ll quote the Kickstarter page:

“OUR GOAL is to produce a feature-length, faithful homage to this classic masterpiece through use of an updated story structure, plot pacing, visual effects, and importantly sound and music. We believe this “fresh take on an old tale” will bring something new to devoted fans, and excite an entire new generation of audiences as well.

“By scanning a vintage print, we were able to shoot our actors on green-screen, then layer them into digital sets recreated from the original film's imagery.”

Doug Jones as Orlok

The film was set to (and still does) star Doug Jones, whose physical prowess under heavy makeup was always going to be a selling point for the film. Unfortunately, it vanished… However, when Eggers’ version of the film was announced I suspected it would make an appearance, and lo… just in time for Halloween and a couple of months before Eggers’ is released it does appear (On general release, it apparently had a limited release in the US in 2023). And, it isn’t bad. Certainly the way it is built is clever, Jones is as good as one would expect but there are issues too…

Hutter and Ellen

Starting in the fictional German town of Wisborg we meet the protagonists of the film, young married couple Thomas Hutter (Emrhys Cooper) and his wife Ellen (Sarah Carter). She is the pure character of the original film, and I liked her saving a spider (which then bites her and her defending that it is its nature), but Hutter… the change to his character is one of the things I disliked about the film, unfortunately. 

Emrhys Cooper as Hutter

Hutter, in the original, comes across as an innocent fool and I recognise there was plenty of scope to expand him. Now there is no reason why a character cannot be reinterpreted, and it might work, but in this case, for me, it did not. This Hutter is incredibly money/status obsessed – he is drawn to go to Transylvania by the promise of copious amounts of money, he wants to be the richest man in Wisborg and he covets the riches his friend Wolfram (Jack Turner) has. Later it appears that he either doesn’t love Ellen (or at least doesn’t understand that love) – he doesn’t respond in kind when she says “I love you”, he has casual (off screen) sex in the inn, cheating on her, and there is a “Hutter finally understands love redemption” element introduced to the story.

occult letter

Before Hutter gets his orders from his employer, Knock (Eddie Allen), we see the realtor receive a letter from Orlok (Doug Jones). The insides being wet with blood, which Knock gets on his hands, was interesting (from a symbolic perspective), the occult writing glowing as his hand brushes the letter was inspired. Eddie Allen played the role of Knock really well and was a highlight for me.

Ellen's later apocalyptic dream

There is a connection between Orlok and Ellen already (she dreams of a tall, frightening shadow), which suggests he is coming to Wisborg as much for her as anything else. Hutter leaves Ellen with Wolfram and his spinster sister, Ruth (Joely Fisher), and Hutter gets a train, rather than rides a horse. This brings him more in line with Harker, from Stoker’s novel, of course. At the end of the line he finds an inn and, as mentioned, manages to cheat on Ellen before finding the book with vampire lore. Unlike the original, he actively steals that, rather than it seeming to follow him, showing his lack of innocence yet again.

shadowy wings

It is interesting that a blind man (Thomas Ian Nicholas) is introduced, and he falls victim to the deathbird – we see the shadow of wings. This replaces the werewolf/hyena aspect of the original and later we do see Orlok with gossamer wings that seem formed from shadows. When Hutter has to walk to the castle he is picked up by Orlok’s carriage and Fisher chooses to have it move at a speeded-up pace, rather like the original. Cutting back to Wisborg, the reason for making Ruth a 'spinster' sister is revealed when she makes a (pretty subtle) lesbian pass at Ellen – like a misplaced Chekhov’s gun that’s never fired. I also found Ellen dreaming of being pregnant whilst an apocalyptic Wisborg burns a strange choice, which I felt Fisher should have expanded upon.

exposed to sunlight

There is an interestingly pagan aspect, with protection runes being used (and Ellen said to have learnt from her mother who was of Romani descent) – her relinquishing such a stone invites Orlok physically to her. Jones works really well as Orlok, as if there would ever be a doubt. As for the other performances… in the main it felt like most were acting in a way they felt a silent actor would have acted when faced with sound and this made many of the performances a tad stagey, Eddie Allen's Knock notwithstanding. The concept is clever and whilst there were aspects I disliked (at the head of that, the changes to Hutter’s character – though I recognise that others might like the change – and the random lesbian pass due to it not having a narrative reason for being there), I thought the film interesting. The score worked well but, whilst worth your time, the remix struggles to get anywhere near the genius of the original film. 6 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Amazon UK

Spooky+ - review

Director: Chad Heffelfinger (segments)

Release date: 2022

Contains spoilers

This is a portmanteau film, with the wraparound starring the inimitable Doug Jones playing himself. He is getting ready to go on a blind date when the TV comes on and this film demands his attention, filling his glass magically and causing popcorn to appear.

The film segments themselves have been described as spooky for a younger audience but they are, without a doubt, accessible for an older audience too. They perhaps don’t achieve the depth of storytelling that great shorts do, but they are well shot and fun enough.

hunting kit

The first segment is the definitively vampire segment, and the name of the segment is, in and of itself, a spoiler as it actually appears at the end of the segment. Nevertheless, it is called Biff the Human Slayer but starts with a pair of wannabe vampire slayers in a car – their credentials offered by the view of the vampire hunting kit they have in the car. Freddie (Cody Buchanan) drives as Ryan (Ben Michaels) snarfs a burger, offering some to Freddie who, as a vegan, rejects it.

knocked over

They hit someone (Ivan Asen) and get out of the car to check on him, spot fangs and decide there is only one thing to do… The only trouble is, their credentials as vampire hunters may have been exaggerated. Before they can do it they are intercepted by Biff (Cody Heffelfinger) and he is, as the title suggests, a human slayer… this is an obvious reversal on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Biff bites

The segment itself was fun enough but it was a tad one note and I felt as I watched it that it was more like the start of something than a segment in its own right… and it is. The segment has since become the first episode of an eight part web serial and I will look at that on TMtV going forward. There was one other segment in this, which felt vampiric at the very least.

the creature

Dirty Dishes sees housemates Alex (Rachel Amanda Bryant) and Kaitlin (Sarah Uplinger) at odds over the living arrangements, especially focused on a pile of unwashed dishes. However, they seem to come together that bit more when a creature, credited as the Stalker (Cody Heffelfinger) tries to get in the house, eventually succeeding. The look is vampiric, with sharp teeth and glowing eyes that can mojo a victim. He also appears to go for the neck – so a definite feel of the vampire, even if it isn’t named as such. 

 the inimitable Doug Jones

Dirty Dishes was a strong segment due to the juxtaposition of the normality and banality of domestic strife and the clearly supernatural. All in all I think Spooky+ deserves a decent 6 out of 10 – scoring is as always for the vampire segments and is balanced between the juxtaposition mentioned in the vampiric segment with the fact that, whilst fun, Biff felt less standalone.

The imdb page is here.

Honourable mention: Universal Dead

Universal Dead is a web series, in three parts, directed by Vernon Mortensen, released in 2010 and available to view here.

It is a zombie web-series and features a presentation, five years after outbreak, in which a scientist, Dr. Henry Vataber (Doug Jones, Hocus Pocus, Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Hellboy Animated: Blood & Iron), tries to convince a Government doctor, Dr. David Macavoy (Gary Graham), of his theory about the outbreak.

look - fangs

Vataber is a physicist and the third law of thermodynamics suggests that the zombies should not be able to self-power nor should they be able to consume and not poop. His theory concerns higher dimensional involvement and is really rather clever as a concept. I also – on a zombie level – liked the idea of a bite check, forcing visitors to the base to strip naked, in order to check for bites, before letting them on. Why, however, the honourable mention… a silly question given the illustrative still with this paragraph. Yes, we get something fanged at the end, a mere glimmer of further concepts. I do hope more gets done with this as it really was rather fun. The imdb page is here.

What we do in the Shadows – season 1 – review

Director: Various

Release date: 2019

Contains spoilers

Taking its cue from other mockumentary films in which vampires have been followed by a film-crew going about their day to day lives, What we do in the Shadows (2014) was a solid vampire film, with a firm grasp of the genre and a joy to watch, being a genuinely funny comedy.

It is unsurprising, though welcome, that it has spawned a spin-off TV series. Same universe, same premise (a film-crew following vampires) but a new group of vampires and a new location – the series relocating from New Zealand to Staten Island.

main cast

Our vampires are Nandor the Relentless (Kayvan Novak), Laszlo Cravensworth (Matt Berry, Snow White and the Huntsman) and his wife Nadja (Natasia Demetriou). A further vampire in the household is energy vampire Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) and Nandor’s familiar Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) is also resident. Their lives are turned upside down when an ancient vampire, Baron Afanas (Doug Jones, Universal Dead, Hocus Pocus, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron & Night Angel), comes to stay and wishes to know why they haven’t claimed dominion over the New World.

Laszlo, Nadja and Nandor

The show, like the movie, has a genuine love of the genre – poking fun but in a knowing way that works really well. We get another werewolf pack, and a neat way of duelling them, erotic topiary and Laszlo having to shout bat when he transforms into one, a vampire orgy and Colin almost meeting his match with an emotional vampire (Vanessa Bayer). Through Guillermo we discover the frustration of being a familiar, waiting for his master to turn him (and also some nice comedy moments with him as with the vampires).

council members

The episode to mention, however, is 7: the Trial, that sees the vampires brought before the vampire council and, having first met vampire criminals Garrett (Dave Bautista) and Vasilika the Defiler (Alexandra Henrikson), it becomes a who’s who of guest stars from the vampire genre. Firstly Taika Waititi, Jemaine Clement and Jonny Brugh reprise their characters from the What we do in the Shadows movie. All the other council members we meet are named for their actor so Tilda is played by Tilda Swinton (Only Lovers Left Alive) and we also get Evan Rachel Wood (True Blood), Danny Trejo, Paul Reubens (Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992 – the movie)) and by skype the daywalking Wesley Snipes (Blade, Blade 2 & Blade Trinity). It’s a smorgasbord of screen vampire fun and underlines that this revels in the genre it spoofs. 7 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

Hellboy Animated – Blood and Iron – review

Directed by: Victor Cook & Tad Stones

Release Date: 2007

Contains spoilers


This is the second Hellboy animated to be released and, as you can guess by it being here, it contains vampires. The film is feature length and has the stars of the Hellboy live action movie performing voice acting duties. The DVD itself comes with a plethora of extras – two of which I’ll get to at the end of the review and a 32 page comic. Now, I was a little excited about the comic as it is a story called the Yearning and has skeletal creatures lusting for blood at the beginning. However these are bone ghouls and not vampires.

The other thing to note is that the edition I received from Play.com is an exclusive boxed set that comes with a Hellboy bust-up toy. A little diorama of Hellboy Vs. The Bat God, the toy has nothing to do with this actual film but, well hey… I’m a sucker for a toy in a DVD set!

At the head of the feature, the credits come over some marvellous 3D animation of a graveyard, though the film itself is in standard 2D. The story proper begins with Hellboy (Ron Perlman) stalking through sewers. He ends up in battle with a minotaur type creature, with a metal arm, and aided in his fight by Abe Sapien (Doug Jones). A fight scene later and Hellboy is victorious – though his efforts have been observed and a woman’s voice questions why he opposes his own kind.

Now the film does something interesting. We get a back story regarding Professor Bruttenholm, or ‘Broom’ – voiced in modern times by John Hurt and as a younger man by James Arnold Taylor – the story focusing on his first real field trip and his battles with the vampire Erzsebet Ondrushko (Kath Soucie). What the film does is run the sequences in flashback in reverse chronology, according to the extras an almost accidental format born of the feature being under length.

One should note that Erzsebet is obviously based on Erzsébet Báthory, and so why they did not use that name is beyond me.

The first flash back we see is Broom with members of the Transylvanian constabulary, the fiancée of a young missing woman and a priest, as they make their way into Erzsebet’s lair. In the main room skeletons hang from the walls, or are in situ on the rack and the priest seems to have visions of the girls alive and tortured.

Broom notices fresh blood on the floor and it leads to a wall. They break through the wall and enter a secret room. The missing young lady, Anna (Grey DeLisle), is on the floor, by a bath of blood, with punctures in her neck. On seeing this and Broom's intentions, the priest backs away and runs. Broom has the fiancée stake his love to save her soul.

The remaining men then open Erzsebet’s coffin, but it is empty. Blood drips onto Broom’s hand and they sweep their flashlights upwards. One of the constables is being held on the ceiling, his neck bitten by Erzsebet. Panicking the men run, with Broom telling them to hold. They manage to escape but, off screen, are ripped apart by wolves with glowing blue eyes.

Broom is alone and the room comes alive with blue flamed candles. Erzsebet appears before him and he takes a hip flask from his pocket. She mocks his need to fortify himself with a drink but he flings the contents towards her, the flask is filled with holy water that burns at her face, stripping her of her beauty.

Enraged she leaps at Broom, the momentum carrying them both through a curtain and a window into the dawn. Broom catches the balcony ledge as Erzsebet plummets through the sky, her body consumed by flames. It has all been a dreamed memory and Broom awakens. However, looking in the mirror he feels the back of his neck and has blood on his hand, he sees Erzsebet in the mirror. Hellboy enters and banters, once the demon has left the room Broom realises that his hand is clean but he knows something is afoot.

The genius of this is that, after this and scattered through the remaining film, we move back in time in flashback, rounding out the story and discovering the motivation of the characters. This adds a depth of dimension to them which is fantastically detailed.

In the modern day the BPRD (Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense) agents are being sent on various missions. The final one is to a haunted house (the Hampton House) as a favour to billionaire Oliver Trombolt (J Grant Albrecht), a friend of a Senator. Knowing this is a publicity stunt they intend to only send new agent Sydney Leach (Rob Paulsen) but Broom intervenes and has Leach, himself, Hellboy, Abe and Liz Sherman (Selma Blair) all sent to the house, rather than their originally planned missions. Though he doesn’t share his reasons he carries garlic. Incidentally the comic I mentioned shows the mission Hellboy was meant to go on, which he does after the Hampton House

Investigation of the house shows it is teeming with ghosts, but they all seem to be female, of Eastern European origin and asking for help. Broom reveals that they are all victims of Erzsebet, and realises that someone is trying to bring her back via the artefacts from her castle that Trombolt has bought.

We get more background on Erzsebet. Whilst alive she was obsessed with beauty and killed some 613 maidens to bathe in their blood, but her atrocities only became worse after she died and was raised as a vampire. We discover that she was a priestess of the Goddess Hecate (Cree Summer).

Now, to a degree, this is where things do fall slightly flat. Erzsebet is indeed brought back but her return is for Broom to deal with. Thus something must be done by the filmmakers to distract Hellboy and that something is a fight against a manifestation of Hecate. This, in itself, is not a bad concept – it was Hecate observing him at the beginning – but there is no depth to it. I would say that, compared to the rich back story of the Erzsebet story it seems tagged on. However the bizarre part is the back story is the tagged on bit. This almost makes the film an accidental success.

Vampire lore is pretty standard. No reflection (the reflection at the beginning is part of a dream/vision remember), control of wolves, blood drinking, aversion to garlic, holy water and crosses (which are dependant on the bearer’s faith). They can be killed by stake or sunlight.

The voice acting works well, though perhaps the character Leach distracted from what is a fairly dark story as a newcomer and thus fairly wide eyed and innocent. The soundtrack is fitting to the piece. The actual animation works well, though I wouldn’t say it is the most attractive or stylistic I’ve ever come across.

I mentioned extras on the DVD and there are two that deserve highlighting. You can access Professor Broom’s story, which is the back story from the film but in correct chronological order. There is also an e-comic called Penanggalan. Whilst it is somewhat short, and without a huge amount of depth, its nice to see this rare Malaysian vampire being highlighted.

All in all an entertaining animated feature with good depth – albeit accidentally. 7 out of 10.


The imdb page is here.

What We Do in the Shadows – Season 3 – review

Director: Various

First aired: 2021

Contains spoilers

A most welcome return, and whilst most will know this, for the uninitiated What We Do in the Shadows began life as a New Zealand based feature film (itself based on an earlier short film) and was transplanted to Staten Island for its series run (see reviews for seasons One and Two).

Despite the geographic (and main character) changes it was still in the same universe and characters from the film have appeared in the series. The premise of a film crew covering the lives of a group of vampire housemates remained the same though the characters were original to the series.

Laszlo and Nadja

Three seasons in and the vampires are now beloved characters. There is Nandor (Kayvan Novak), along with his human familiar Guillermo (Harvey Guillén), Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) and her husband Laszlo Cravensworth (Matt Berry, Snow White and the Huntsman) – who is by far my favourite character, and energy vampire Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch). As the season begins the vampires are holding Guillermo in a jail cell (in the basement) whilst they contemplate what to do with him.

Guillermo 'imprisoned'

In the finale of season 2 (having escaped death in season 1, after accidentally killing Baron Afanas (Doug Jones, Universal Dead, Hocus Pocus, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron & Night Angel)) the vampires are drawn to an event, which turns out to be a pretext for their execution by order of the vampiric council. In the meantime, Guillermo had discovered that he was of the Van Helsing line and a born vampire hunter, so he rescued his master and friends – by killing every other vampire there.

In council robes

What the vampires fail to realise, as they slowly (over months) deliberate the familiar’s fate is that the cell can’t hold him and he is leaving by day and doing household chores that the vampires think just happen (as well as buying edible food in place of the raw chicken they've been giving him) . The (main) Vampiric Council get in touch to say that they have decided, due to their apparent ruthlessness, to make the housemates leaders of the Vampiric Council of the Eastern Seaboard of the New World. Laszlo isn’t interested (his reasons for being a vampire are NSFW, though they don't include being a bureaucrat) but Nadja and Nando have to come to terms with power sharing. The new dynamic worked well for the comedy – though for me Laszlo was side-lined to a degree and the show worked its way naturally to a finale that has changed the dynamics (and focus) completely.

the Sire

I need to mention episode 6, the Escape. The Eastern Seaboard Vampiric Council have responsibility for the Sire (Vaios Skretas). An ancient vampiric creature who is believed to be the source of vampirism in all vampires. After forgetting to feed him, he escapes. There is a general panic as it is believed that if you kill a vampire any progeny die – something Laszlo dismisses as he and Nadja didn’t die when Baron Afanas died – then a penny drops and they dig up his charred and half missing remains, which are very much still alive.

Kristen Schaal as the Guide

I don’t want to spoil any more but will mention we find out what happens when housekeeping hoovers up a vampire’s native earth. This was a good solid season that perhaps concentrated mostly on Nadja and Nandor. However, Colin Robinson and Laszlo did get some spotlight, at least. I need to mention Kristen Schaal (Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant) as “the Guide”, the vampire council liaison who was marvellous. The fourth season promises to be interesting given the way season 3 has left off but, obviously, this review is for the season just aired and it was, again, a joy. 7.5 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

Honourable Mention – Night Angel

“From the dawn of history, she has plagued mankind. Many a mother has wept for a baby found dead in its cradle. Many a man has spurned true love for an eternity in her hell. The Babylonians built statues to honour her. The Jews carved amulets for protection from her evil. By many names is she known, from Kali in India, to Pele in Hawaii. She was created from dust when Adam was created, but no restful peace in dust will she find. She is Lilith: the temptress, seducer and destroyer, harlot of demons and enemy of love. And she shall stalk us forever, walking in the shadows, sowing the seeds of discontent, reaping a harvest of souls for her caller of hell.”

So begins the 1990, Dominique Othenin-Girard directed, flick. Now there isn't really a vampire aspect to this film – though there is a little lore correlation – but the quote helps indicate why I have given this an honourable mention. Lilith, as an archetype, is strongly tied into the vampiric mythology – indeed Montague Summers mentions her in his work. The Lilith myth can be varied but we shall look at it in more detail as we explore the film. Incidentally this was viewed via VHS so apologies for the screenshots.

The film itself starts off with Lilith (Isa Jank) rising from the earth as there is a lunar eclipse, at the same time her re-birth fills dreams. At one point she lifts up her hand and it is a claw – this seemed bird-like and I wondered if that was deliberate as Lilith is often connected with the screech owl. She cries and bangs it down and it takes human form. The next day at Siren fashion magazine we see that art director Craig (Linden Ashby) had dreamt of her re-birth when he flashes back to the dream.

A car pulls up outside a house, driven by Lilith. There is a man, Joseph (Sam Hennings), in the car with her – it is his house (he thought they might go to hers) and she reveals that she knows he is married but harbours dark sexual fantasies. She wants to be on the cover of Siren – which he owns. She drives off but, when he is in his bedroom, she appears again and comes on to him as his wife (Tedra Gabriel) sleeps. She slices his chest with her nail, as she rides him, and tastes his blood, when his wife wakes she slits her throat and when the son (Ben Ryan Ganger) enters the room she chases him away with power.

The next day and the magazine is shocked to hear of the triple murder. Sub-editor Rita (Karen Black) tries to keep the show on the road. As there was to be a party for the magazine, involving advertisers, it is to go ahead. Craig is there with Ken (Doug Jones) and their co-worker Rod (Gary Hudson) is there with a date. Rita introduces Craig to her sister Kirstie (Debra Feuer) then Lilith walks in. She makes a bee-line for Craig, licks around a bottle top and acts flirtatious. Kirstie draws Craig back and Lilith uses her powers to make her glass explode.

Ken ends up dancing with Lilith but Rod interjects and they almost fight over her. She leaves with Rod (who has abandoned his date) and Ken follows. He watches through a glass door as they get it on, breaking through and slicing his leg open. Ken follows her into a glowing elevator and falls down the shaft – dying. Craig sees all this in his dreams.

What we get is a relationship blossoming between Craig and Kirstie as Rita is seduced by Lilith and the magazine staff fall under her thrall. She will spread her evil by being on the cover of the magazine, inspiring destructive lust in all who see the picture (indeed at one point Craig becomes hypnotised by the picture as it comes to life). What she also wants is to take the soul of a man in love – in other words Craig – but it is that very love which may protect him.

We get the involvement of a voodoo type woman called Sadie (Helen Martin), who lost her man to Lilith years before and she is our main source of lore but, before Craig speaks to her, he ends up being dragged into Hell in a sequence that features genre favourite Phil Fondarcaro.

He is nearly lost at that point, Lilith going for the heart, but a piece of silver and amethyst jewellery that Kirstie made protects him, causing Lilith to reveal her demonic face. Sadie later suggests that it is the meaning of the jewellery and not what it is made of that is important but we also see Lilith react to a random piece of silver jewellery – the problem vampires have with silver is a well established piece of lore.

Sadie tells them that she was Adam’s first wife but one man was not enough for her – a little different to the myth I'm familiar with, in which she refuses to be dominated by Adam and wishes for equality thus insists that she goes on top during sex, but hey… She also says that to dispel Lilith she must be stabbed in the heart – Sadie has a specific ritual dagger for the task.

At the head of the film we get a monstrous face, brought on when Craig admits his love for Kirstie and this morphs further into a winged form and there was definitely something bat like in the modelling they used.

Not a vampire movie, as I mentioned, this has the elements I listed and also some more succubus type elements in the lust aspects – plus I guess we can safely say that she was a vamp whilst not a vampire. But it features Lilith and this is of genre interest. The imdb page is here.

The Reverend – review

Director: Neil Jones

Release date: 2011

Contains spoilers

Blurbs can lie, its something we have seen on these hallowed pages more than once. Worse than that are front covers. For a moment take a close look at the front cover of the UK release of this DVD…

Ok, given the prominence of his portrait – centre and large – and the large typeface used for his name, you’d be forgiven for thinking that this film stars Rutger Hauer (Dracula III: Legacy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer & ’Salem’s Lot). Now… the blurb (and I quote) “Rutger Hauer (Blade Runner, Batman Begins) delivers a haunting performance as the bringer of death in this terrifying take on the vampire tale…” (their emphasis). His fairly laconic performance is actually all of five minutes long at the head of the film. At least one of the other genre icons in the film, namely Doug Bradley (Umbrage), has three separate scenes (though the first one with Rutger is spent silently floating around the back of the set) even if the screen time is probably even shorter.

the girl and Withstander

So, what do we have… Well it starts with Rutger’s character, called Withstander in the credits, in a car. Of course withstander means adversary and he is actually the devil. There is a girl (Marcia Do Vales) in the car with him and he sends her, in the car, to the village. Now… there are three locations in the film that we hear named, the village (a countryside village), the estate (a suburban sprawl) and the city (a city area) and we will get to the naming of things later. Withstander walks into a building where a group of priests aim swords at him until told to stand down by the Almighty (Giovanni Lombardo Radice, City of the Living Dead) – no guesses who he is.

Almighty and Rev Andrews

Withstander wants a certain young man – the Reverend (Stuart Brennan) of the title – a man who is pure. The agreement is that the Almighty will remove the protection from him and allow Withstander opportunity to show him pain, blood and suffering. This, Withstander believes, will make him turn his back on God and curse him. They fight over the souls of man one at a time. Of course Withstander has already sent the girl to the village where the Reverend is the new vicar.

attacked

He has just finished his first service to a low house and has promised the nosey Mrs Jenkins (Helen Griffin) that he will visit her for tea and cake on Tuesday. Outside it is raining and the girl knocks on the church door asking to see him, soaked to the skin. She briefly flirts and tries to tempt him but then launches at his neck, ripping a huge wedge of flesh as his blood spews across her mouth. He grabs a (conveniently pointed) cross and stabs at her, hitting the mark and he sees her burst into flames as he falls unconscious.

nasty wound

He awakes in the morning and we hear a voiceover as he tries to rationalise what has happened, his own doubts and fears coming into play. I loved the fact that there was a huge rip in his throat. He nearly calls the police but there is no body or scorch marks from the fire. Just in case we hadn’t realised it, she has written “poor little Job” in a hymn book as a clue for him. He heads to the vicarage (in sunlight – the sun has no place in this film’s lore) and by the time he gets there his neck has healed to just teeth marks. He studies the book of Job and then falls asleep.

licking blood from a knife

He dreams of the girl – her advice is to “embrace it” and is woken by Mrs Jenkins, worried as he didn’t turn up for tea… it is now Friday. He seems ill and so she makes him tea, but when she leaves due to a cut finger (and the need to get a plaster) he finds himself licking her spilt blood of the knife and from the work surface. He goes for a walk and meets all-too-obvious-villain Harold Hicks (Tamer Hassan) who “owns the village”. When he returns he is covered in blood – from a dog. He phones Reverend Andrews (Doug Bradley) but says little too him about events, yet despite this he is given the “embrace it” line.

vampire film club

Study is called for, so it is into the estate and an internet café to research vampires and then to a convenient vampire film club run by tart with a heart Tracy (Emily Booth). He runs into her pimp, Prince (Shane Richie), and a second run in sees him attack Prince, drink from him and then stake him – in this the vampirism is spread immediately on bite (even if it takes a while to turn properly as soon as someone is bitten they can be staked and their bite, in turn, spreads the affliction immediately), thus they burn up into conveniently inconspicuous ashes if staked. From here on in the Reverend – who has not lost his faith in God – starts to do God’s work by sermon and by bite. This will, of course, take him on a collision course with Hicks.

eyes turn black

The Reverend has massively (contact lens) blue eyes but when the thirst comes upon him they turn black. Other than that the lore has been pretty much covered. It is a case of the vampire becoming a divine messenger and his Job-like test is one of power and, of course, of simple faith. I found the acting quite pantomime at times but it very much worked as this is a graphic novel in film form. Indeed it says it is based on a graphic novel but then the film’s homepage suggests said graphic novel is coming soon. Compared to some of the performances, Stuart Brennan’s is understated and does come across as a mild mannered Reverend. The performance reminded me a lot of Sting in Brimstone and Treacle but where Sting could suddenly switch on evil, Brennan’s action orientated moments lacks some of the power they needed. That said it wasn’t too bad. Another aspect of the graphic novel-ness was the fact that there were no real names and everyone seemed to be content with that.

God's work

When the Reverend phones Reverend Andrews (only named as such in the credits) he says something along the lines of it’s me, the reverend. When asked which one he simply refers to the village and this is enough to identify him. This, along with the scenery chewing performances and the absolute lack of crisis of faith (within the main character’s development that is – to me he accepts what he is and acts as judge, jury and executioner almost too eagerly with only one dream suggesting he likes it a little too much), offers a surreal surrounding. The use of a rather good and strangely complimentary country and western soundtrack over the pastoral English village just adds to this.

Emily Booth as Tracy

I enjoyed this, it was far from perfect but I liked the simplicity of the violence – and boy did it have violence at times. I liked the use of the vampire as messenger and executioner on behalf of the divine, something we recently saw in Pearblossom. It is a film I am sure many will disagree with me over, but I think it deserves 6 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.