Director: Jake Myers
Release date: 2025
Contains spoilers
Another unusual vampire film I first watched at Grimmfest 2025, this one was definitely geared towards vampire lore even if the central creature is a sentient bacteria… I say bacteria, but in truth it is a SCOBY that is to say a symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast, which ferments tea to create kombucha. Associating vampires with bacteria isn’t unknown, indeed bacterial infection is the source of the vampirism in I Am Legend.
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| Magdalena Conway as Rachel |
It starts with a worker in an office, Rachel (Magdalena Conway), who seems distressed and has some sort of raw rash on her arm. Her mobile rings and it is her mother, Tammy (Charin Alvarez), who asks where she is. She admits still at work and suggests she is going to be replaced. Ending the call she goes to a kitchen area, opens a fridge and looks at the stock of kombucha and then turns to a supply closet, the camera lingers on bleach. Her boss, Kelsey (Claire McFadden), collects her to go to a HR check-in. There, in a room with a striking (and a tad low-key Lovecraftian) painting, Rachel declares she quits and drinks the mug of bleach….
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| gig |
Luke (Terrence Carey) is playing guitar and singing on stage. It is his last song of the set. After, he goes to where his girlfriend, Elyse (Paige Bourne), is sat with a friend. He is annoyed as the record company representative meant to watch the show didn’t turn up. He is approached by Andy (Jesse Kendall) who he used to be in a band with. They have a beer and it transpires that Andy has gone corporate, no longer missing the endless struggle of being a musician. He gives Luke his card, the company Symbio (the same one Rachael worked for) would offer an entry level salary of $100k to creative types, no experience needed.
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| Paige Bourne as Elyse |
Back at Elyse’s place they end up arguing after she asks whether he will go for the job. He points out that she hasn’t continued with her visual art since getting a job in a lab. She decides they should have a break and he should go home. He returns to his apartment where past due bills are piled up and decides to give the job opportunity a shot. He is shocked to discover he has already got the job off Andy’s recommendation. The company analyse other companies' cultures and introduce rituals and purpose brewed kombucha to help create a corporate unity. Kelsey suggests he try their kombucha, labelled Mother’s Secret – he refuses.
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| drinking the kombucha |
His desk has a memorial to Rachel on it, which Kelsey suggests should have been moved and sweeps it away. At that point Tammy comes in and accuses the company of killing Rachel and warns Luke he is next... So, of course he drinks the kombucha eventually, which has astounding productivity effects but also makes changes; he starts getting the rash, has weird dreams, some violent stomach action and becomes addicted to the stuff. Elyse becomes worried and, researching the company, discovers Tammy – who tells Elyse that they are vampires, though she hasn’t worked out how they can walk in daylight. Elyse gets hold of some of the kombucha and discovers it contains blood.
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| vampire kit |
So, the vampirism is apparent on more than one level. Firstly, we have capitalism as a vampire, with its cult like rituals the company could be said to suck the life and creativity out of the employees. I haven’t seen the short that this was based on but, by the write up, the kombucha in that was eating the employees inside out. In this it is prepping them for turning. It contains the yeast and bacteria but also blood, connecting them to Mother (the main giant SCOBY, which is like a tentacled entity) psychically. The actual turning is more on a body snatcher level (so again, corporate capitalism destroying individuality). Elyse gets biocide and fungicide to deal with it. Tammy has crosses (which don’t work) and garlic, which not only works on Mother but also the turned and is, of course, a more traditional trope.
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| emerging from Kelsey's nose |
I enjoyed this at the festival and also watching it again at home. Luke was a character you could get behind and Claire McFadden neatly balanced corporate speak and a somewhat unhinged cult member. Mother is realised pretty well, especially given the likely low budget, and held till the end of the film so as not to over expose. A neat, thread of the comedic runs through it, but not overwhelming. There is a body horror aspect, with the turned revealing their true nature accidentally sometimes – such as a small tentacle coming out of Kelsey’s nose – and the impact of the kombucha on the original body. 6.5 out of 10.
The imdb page is here.
On Blu-Ray @ Amazon US
On Blu-Ray @ Amazon UK
