Dracula: Rise of the Vampire – review

Director: Dean Meadows

Release date: 2025

Contains spoilers

First comes the rant – and it does not affect the score. I backed this film on Kickstarter. Now I understand that this isn’t like purchasing, and carries a risk, but when the film is completed and the backers wait over two years past the estimated date before shipping their perks it can be irksome. I recognise when the filmmaker say, “we can’t release the film to you prior to its first official release date due to piracy concerns” (as this filmmaker did), but that wasn’t the basis of the perks as offered, which had no caveat for waiting for commercial distribution, and the despatch of the discs took longer than the film hitting streaming services (including free streaming on Tubi). Still, they have now made good on the pledges, unlike some projects, and at long last I have the numbered, signed, backer only-edition Blu-ray, but my frustration at the filmmakers was tangible for a while. Rant over.

Kurt Dirt as Shaw

Next come the confessions. Firstly, actor Kurt Dirt, who plays cult member Shaw, is a good friend. I was unaware he was in the film when I backed the crowdsourcing but certainly was by the time it was shot. Confession number two is the more I saw about the film, whilst I waited for the eventual release of the perk, the more worried I became about the quality of the film overall. The trailer made me wary, some reviews were scathing, but in fairness (and maybe enhanced by a low expectation) when I finally sat down to watch this, I found myself really taken with it and, of course, low-budget films can be satisfying cinematic experiences.

blood spray

And so, on to the actual review… after establishing shots of London, the film starts with a sermon from new vicar, Father James (Nathan Head), who has just moved to the parish 3-weeks prior. Suddenly several members of the congregation stand and put on masks – later described as Baphomet masks – and massacre the rest of the congregation. At this point we get the first weak link – (what I assume was) cgi blood spatter. Often an issue in budget films, to be honest, this looked like black dust. The cultists (for that is what they are) surround the priest and tell him to give a message – he is coming – before belting him one.

Gabe and Murray

One thing I should mention is that, whilst the establishing shots are of London, the filming took place in Barnstaple, Devon, and some suspension of belief is needed around external scenes. The police arrive at the church, in charge is DC Jessica Murray (Emma Fletcher). As well as the indoor massacre, in the churchyard they have found a body, exsanguinated with punctures in the throat. This is the third body found like this. Though Murray hates to admit it they need some help… Help is in the form of Gabriel Lee (Dean Meadows), and the back story for Gabe is partial but interestingly done. As the film goes on we discover he had been involved, as a cop, in something (supernatural) that left him kicked out of the force and sent to prison for doing the right thing. It is implied, but not stated, that he and Murray had a thing. Murray’s boss, DI Lee (Ailsa Roanne), is Gabe’s mother.

Gabe and Zoe

Before we meet Gabe, we meet a young woman, Zoe (Cerys Piper), who is being chased down an alley by three guys she stole a wallet from. She falls and they catch up but luckily Gabe is nearby. They tell him to do one, call him grandpa and one even draws a knife… so he draws a gun. Now this is a British film, so they don’t think it’s real, this opinion changes when he shoots the one with a knife in the leg. He lets Zoe give him a kicking before taking her to eat. She is homeless and hasn’t eaten for a couple of days and he wants her to stay at his flat, just for a while, what with the three exsanguinated homeless people and something coming… especially given her surname is Van Helsing – she is the last of her line.

Elizabeth and the High Priestess

So what we have is a cult of Dracula (Peter Jakeson) worshippers – they are run by Elizabeth (Eileen Daly, Demonsoul, Razor Blade Smile, Witchcraft X: Mistress of the Craft & Sentinals of Darkness), who is revealed to be Bathory later. Not a vampire according to dialogue but, assuming she is THE Bathory, the blood bathing has given her impressive longevity. It appears she has history with Gabe and, presumably, was involved in the previous unseen case. There is also a high priestess (Pauline Peart, The Satanic Rites of Dracula & Video Shop Tales of Terror) of the cult. The cultists want to resurrect Dracula; they have his blood, his cape, the location of his resting place but need his ring (which the Lee family have) to be able to control him. What was great was the lack of loyalty in the ranks with Shaw (Kurt Dirrt) intent on taking over and stealing Dracula’s favour.

Peter Jakeson as Dracula

The film is a love letter to old horror films, especially Hammer. The dialogue drops in several Hammer Dracula film titles verbatim and a Denham Industrial Estate (named for Dracula’s alias in the Satanic Rites of Dracula) is mentioned amongst other references. Dracula, once resurrected, looks the part, though he sports a Yorkshire accent rather than Christopher Lee’s clipped English or Lugosi’s Eastern European brogue. As well as Dracula and Bathory, the film’s opening credits mention Sheridan Le Fanu alongside Bram Stoker, and the mid credit sequence offers a brief Carmilla appearance. But the film has issues.

vampire attack

The acting veers wildly across the spectrum, a scene with Murray and Gabe was nuanced and well played by both (in the main Meadows plays things straight and hard man, any comedic cracks he makes are character deliberate), Eileen Daly hams it up deliciously and adds a campness that the film craves, but some other actors are stagey, perhaps even amdram, and the dialogue perhaps becomes a tad unnatural in places. ADR does not help and is noticeable. One fight – or more a drubbing of Gabe by the cultists – was well done, but other fight sequences not so much, a bar fight in particular feeling too choreographed, unrealistic and appeared slightly sped up in places.

Eileen Daly as Elizabeth

Yet, I was taken by the infectious nature of the film. It clearly isn’t a perfect film, the budget shows and yet I sat enjoying the experience. Where I had worried that it was going to be a dud I was taken by the love of the genre it showed and the deliberate campness added by Eileen Daly really kept the film afloat (and I should mention that, when his character turned simpering later on, Kurt Dirt added a further layer of campness that complemented Daly’s performance). Where the hinted at Gabe backstory worked, the plotting in film perhaps was a little ambitiously convoluted at times. Yet overall, if you enjoy low budget, like love letters to the genre, and appreciate well-paced campness, there is definitely something worth watching. 6 out of 10 was not where I thought this would be going. But it did.

The imdb page is here.

Whilst I am adding the Amazon links, be aware that, at time of writing, this is on Tubi for free stream.

On Blu-Ray @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Amazon UK

Theatre Macabre: The Vampire – review

Director: Stanislaw Lenartowicz

First Aired: 1971 (IMDb list this as a remake of the 1967 The Vampire, but it is likely the same film with Lee's wraparound and English dubbing)

Contains spoilers

Theatre Macabre was a Polish anthology series, which was dubbed into English for the US market, with stories based on classic short stories and introduced by the always welcome Christopher Lee. In this case the story was based on one by Alexis Tolstoy.

Famously, the Tolstoy vampire story that is used as a basis for film is Family of the Vourdalak but, in this case, the story is the lesser known The Vampire, written in 1841. When I looked at a Volume of Tolstoy’s work I suggest it was “a story that deserves a film”. This is not that film, unfortunately, cramming the story into under 25 minutes. It also changes the lore somewhat but the changes themselves are interesting.

Dashka and her Grandmother

Starting at a ball, a gentleman is charmed by a young lady named Dashka. He is watched, however, by a sinister looking man named Riverenko who calls him over. He tells him to beware as Dashka’s Grandmother is, he confides, a vampire, as is one of her friends also at the dance. You can tell them, he suggests, by the sucking sound they make as a secret greeting (in Tolstoy's original this is described as a clicking sound). He warns the man that he is in mortal danger and that should Dashka stay with her grandmother she’ll be dead in three days.

Riverenko and the man

The man goes back to Dashka, as she talks to her grandmother. The Grandmother complains that Dashka never visits and then, to get her to visit her estate suggests he does also. Suddenly Riverenko is there and points menacingly at the Grandmother (he claims she killed his love at another point) and tells the man to meet him the next day in the Orthodox graveyard. When they meet he shows him a grave that has the Grandmother’s name and picture (but the man catches him out as he actually added the picture to the grave).

stabbing the shadow

Of course, the first evening at the estate sees him attacked by both vampires but he has been given a holy blade. Told that blades cannot pierce their flesh (though this blade subsequently does cut a vampire’s arm), he is informed that the only way to kill a vampire is to stab their shadow in the heart. When he does this we see the wall that the shadow falls on bleed. This method of killing is really interesting but different to the source story, which necessitates ramming a stake between their shoulder blades.

vampire attack

The short episode, unfortunately, does not carry the atmosphere that the story begs for and probably tries to do a little too much within the constraints of the running time. Plus, of course, dubbing does not help. However, it is great to see this Tolstoy story get some filmic love – even if it is not nearly as good as some of the films of the more famous story. Theatre Macabre itself is a mixed bag but consistently lovely to look at. I got the series as part of the Eurocrypt of Christopher Lee collection. The score for this episode is 5 out of 10. 

The episode’s imdb page is here.

On Blu-Ray @ Amazon US

On Blu-Ray @ Amazon UK

Honourable Mention: Frankenstein and Me

This was a 1996 feelgood movie directed by Robert Tinnell and had moments of Hallmark schmaltz but also some very well constructed monster segments and Burt Reynolds (the Cannonball Run),

That monster movie aspect appears right from the start of the film as we see a castle in a storm and inside Frankenstein and Igor, played by Earl (Jamieson Boulanger) and his little brother Larry (Ricky Mabe, Mona the Vampire & Preacher). We get a full resurrection scene, after an interruption by Elizabeth (Polly Shannon, Forever Knight). Of course, we are not really in Frankenstein’s schloss, rather a small town in the Mojave Desert in 1970 and Earl is a dreamer. The daydream, which he is sketching, is interrupted by his nasty teacher, Mrs Perdue (Louise Fletcher, Mama Dracula) who punishes him and then phones his home, informing Earl’s mom (Myriam Cyr, Gothic) that he is a delinquent.

the monster on display

Luckily for Earl, his dad (Burt Reynolds) might be a trucker now but was a dreamer himself and won’t punish his son for that – indeed he actively encourages his sons to both have dreams and pursue them. Larry really enjoys his brother’s stories. Unfortunately, their dad dies of a heart attack early into the film (Burt reappearing in memories within the film) and mom, stressed by having to take a minimum wage job to provide for the family, doesn’t understand her son. At a carnival Earl goes into Zandor’s Hall of Mystery, which purports to own the genuine Frankenstein’s monster. The next day the carnival leaves but don’t notice the crate with the monster fall from a truck… right next to Earl who manages to take the Monster and work out a scheme to revive it…

Van Helsing and Arminius

Which is the main thrust of the film – with a genuinely saccharine ending. However through the running length we get monster movie moments that are either daydreams, actual dreams or a story Earl is telling Larry – this then is the vampire moment, a story told by Earl when Larry is in hospital (after having his tonsils out). It follows Professor Van Helsing – Earl – and his assistant Arminius – Larry as they hunt vampire brides in an old windmill. Van Helsing sends Arminius to hide and wait for his signal with instructions to burn the mill down if necessary. Van Helsing opens a coffin in the room he searches but it is empty – the brides are behind him (there are three brides but only 2 listed in the credits - Martine Marois & Véronique Cloutier – I can’t be sure but suspect the third is Polly Shannon).

the brides

He turns, brandishing a cross that repels them. One, however, picks up a sack of flour and throws it – knocking the cross from his hand. He crawls away and reaches Dracula (Conner Vandeer) who lifts him up and throws him out of a window. However he catches a sail, grabs a lower ledge and is pulled to safety by Arminius. They go back to the vampire lair as the sun is beginning to rise, open the first coffin and Van Helsing readies a stake over Dracula’s chest… The story is interrupted by Mrs Perdue who deems it unsuitable for a hospital (she happens to be there as a patient), although Larry’s roommate, Stan (David Deveau, Are You Afraid of the Dark). was enjoying it and recognised the inspiration as the Brides of Dracula, which Earl confirms.

Conner Vandeer as Dracula

And that is it, a fleeting visitation (with Vandeer channelling Christopher Lee for his miniscule screen time) – a rendition of a young monster fan’s story told to his brother. Of course there are several such scenes with other monsters. The cast do well – including Jamieson Boulanger as Earl, who managed well with a vehicle that he (for the most part) had to carry. The Hallmark-like schmaltz got a bit much and the first act dragged a little but overall this isn’t a bad, kid friendly property.

The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon US

The Dracula File – review

Author: Gerry Finley-Day & Simon Furman

Artists: Eric Bradbury, Geoff Senior & Keith Page

First published: 2020 (tpb)

Contains spoilers

The Blurb: A brand-new paperback new edition of the sold out and beloved classic horror comic!

KGB officer Colonel Stakis desperately hunts for Count Dracula, who is spreading terror in 1980s Britain after escaping from behind the Iron Curtain.

Blending Cold War paranoia with horror staples, Gerry Finley-Day and Eric Bradbury's strip overcame sustained attempts at censorship to become one of the most popular strips in the 1980s best horror comics.

The review: I have to confess that I don’t remember Scream comic – despite probably being the exact age of the target audience when it circulated and, given this collection, that seems a shame. A short run horror comic it does mean that the story in this volume doesn’t conclude. Dracula manages to ‘defect’ to the West, via the Berlin wall and is taken to Britain where, luckily, the MI5 safehouse he is taken to is his old residence when he was last in Britain and so has some of his native soil stashed there.

He is soon terrorising London with the secret services convinced they lost the defector somehow and the police convinced a killer is on the loose. The one person who knows the truth is KGB agent Colonel Stakis who is disgraced in the USSR for his superstitious beliefs and so manages to escape to the UK to hunt the vampire. We get so much of that story, which then moves into a 2-issue flashback of Dracula facing another hunter in the 19th century. That covers off all that is available of the story from the substantive comic, but the title was subsequently maintained as holiday specials from which we get some stand-alone stories of Stakis hunting Dracula.

Lore-wise, I’ve mentioned native earth and this Dracula is vulnerable to sunlight it seems (or at least aims to be in his native earth before the sun rises and does not leave his coffin until it sets). We get transformation into smoke, bats and wolves (and Stakis employing an eagle to hunt the bat form, which was fun). It also mentions garlic, holy water, silver bullets (though a reproduced quiz refutes that as being for werewolf only) and wooden stakes… silver stakes are mentioned also. There are lore errors – lack of reflection is used as a plot point and then, in one of the holiday specials, we get Stakis posing as a policeman and somehow seeing the vampire attack in a mirror taped to the inner brim of his helmet!

The art is black and white, certainly reminiscent of the style of the time and could be best described as gritty, which suited the vibe. Dracula’s artwork does have a bit of a Christopher Lee vibe to it. The new cover art for this collection is fun, what with the attack on the pin stripe berk, but perhaps one of the original Scream covers would have served better. The writing for Dracula posed him as arrogant and quite pompous (“You dare strike at me!”) and this reminded me of the Marvel persona for Dracula.

This was fun, it's not a massive book (the comic didn’t run long enough) but it was a nice discovery for me and I suspect a lovely bit of nostalgia for others. Thank you to Sarah for the volume. 7.5 out of 10.

In Paperback @ Amazon US

In Paperback @ Amazon UK

Vamp or Not? Island of the Burning Damned

So, this is a 1967 British sci-fi/horror that was directed by Terence Fisher, starring Christopher Lee and guests starring Peter Cushing. I was contacted by Clark, who asked whether I had seen the film (under its title Night of the Big Heat) and looked at it as a ‘Vamp or Not?’ Given the director and stars I have mentioned it should be great, thought I, but Clark cautioned, “It's dreadful, you'll love it”, and he was right.

It starts with a meteorological station, on the island of Fara, and a car with its soft top down drives past. The driver, Angela (Jane Merrow), is clearly feeling the heat. Meanwhile a man, Godfrey Hanson (Christopher Lee), is checking a camera. It is melted. He sets up a new one but is observed by a tramp (Sydney Bromley, the Fearless Vampire Killers). The tramp has a gander at the equipment once Hanson has left and then heads to the cave where he lives. There is a high pitch sound and he looks fearful as he dies…

Jane Merrow as Angela

Angela has broken down as the car is overheating and a van, driven by Tinker (Kenneth Cope), stops. Angela can’t understand, she had the water checked on the mainland and he asks if she has put anti-freeze in it. She has and that’s the problem – as it is causing the overheat – but, she insists, you need anti-freeze in winter. As we discover it is winter throughout the UK but Fara is having an unseasonal and localised heatwave. He puts water in her car and tells her to let it cool down. By the time she reaches local inn the Swan he is sat outside enjoying a pint.

Cushing and Lee

The Swan is run by Frankie (Sarah Lawson) and the only customer indoors is Dr Stone (Peter Cushing). Angela introduces herself, she is looking for Jeff (Patrick Allen), Frankie’s husband and novelist, and she is his new secretary. Jeff has popped over to the mainland and Hanson comes in asking if Jeff has returned with his parcel. He is due any time. As it stands, unknown to Frankie, Angela and Jeff had a fling and she has followed him to the island to continue it (it sounds as though he moved there with Frankie to get away from her). The heat is rising (literally), folk start acting odd and only Hanson suspects the truth.

attacked

Hanson is a scientist and he believes that the island is being invaded by an advance force of aliens. They are increasing the heat to make the island hospitable. They start attacking energy sources, including animals and humans. I’ll let Hanson explain, “we’ve been sending out high frequency impulses to explore space… …to these beings, they represent a life force… …these beings are composed of high frequency impulses in heat form. They transfer like any form of high frequency…” so they came through the station’s scanners and then materialised, physically, in the atmosphere. At one point Hanson suggests they are from another planet, at another from “where the cosmic gases ferment”. There is so much scientific techno-babble it is untrue. The aliens, they discover, are attracted by light (another energy form) but why ‘Vamp or Not?’

a creature

Essentially, each attack sees them drain the energy (from a car battery, for example) but also from the animals they attack (be it sheep or humans). They do this by causing the animals to burn, through the sound one assumes, and extracting the energy from the combustion – Hanson suggests they are looking for an energy source to keep them alive. So, essentially, they are eaters of energy. They look like blobs that glow and the men try to use explosives to destroy them (of course, that is another energy form). How can they be killed, let us just say that we have a methodology akin to War of the Worlds – not a virus but the Earth has a method of combating the invading force.

winter heatwave

So, Vamp? Well they do consume energy – any energy (there is a logical flaw with them wasting energy by heating the planet up – assuming they somehow generate the heat) and so it depends how generous you want to be about their vampiric nature (my inner jury are still out). However, if you are happy to go down that route I can tell you that Clark was absolute right, this is dreadful but I did love it. The imdb page is here.

On DVD @ Amazon US

On DVD @ Amazon UK

Muerte: Tales of Horror – review

Director: Christopher Ambriz

Release date: 2018

Contains spoilers

Muerte: Tales of Horror is a portmanteau film that mostly felt custom made but is actually a stitching together of a few shorts all directed by Christopher Ambriz. I said mostly as the chronology around the events (especially given actor/character overlap) felt a little off. However mostly it isn’t a bad indie effort – strong story originality and some pretty good gore effects for an indie give the film strength, whereas cinematography and some of the performances let it down.

the comic

The wraparound is concerned with a group of girls who intend to get revenge on a boy, Carter (Michael Jay Anthony Salinas), for one of the girls, Spencer (Maggie Stubbins), and go to a magic store to buy spell ingredients to that end. Also in the store is Zak (Eric Lee Delagarza), who has been sent to steal divining gear (a mat and crystal) for Carter. He also steals a comic – entitled Muerte – and the shorts are from the comic and somehow the stories, when read, project into the real world. The segment we are interested in is called the Date though there is genre interest (at the very least) in other sections.

Will McCann as Matt

So, set in the near future, the Date sees bartenders Matt (Will McCann) and Roy (Eric De Los Santos) ejecting a drunk woman from the bar. Back behind the bar they watch three women come in: Katie (Katie Loftin), Lori (Jessica Lee Golden) and Ashley (Ashley Lopez Delagarza). After some snarkyness with Lori, Ashley leaves and Katie goes to the bar. She and Matt hit it off and, when Lori turns her attention to another patron (Peter M. Howard), Katie gives Matt her number and they arrange to go on a date the next night.

Katie attacks

We see the two prep to go and eventually decide on Italian but when the pizza comes Katie nearly chokes – due to the garlic (Matt assumes an allergy). She runs off and phones Ashley who is in the middle of drinking two women – Ashley suggests that Katie return to Matt and have a drink. She does this and takes Matt off to somewhere private and then sinks her teeth in. There seems to be blood at first but quickly she is sucking on something green and not palatable. He is a machine, it turns out, she manages to rip his face to circuitry and metal below.

revealed as a robot

He seems unaware of his nature but his programming kicks in and he goes into attack mode, recognising her as a vampire. She is staked and dies. Roy comes in – he is Matt’s handler and explains that he is a cyborg, designed for vampire hunting. Later, as he fights his own programming, we discover that his wife and child were drunk by Lori and he, himself, shot by her. The vampires (unaware that Matt is a machine) want revenge for Katie and he is being sent out for the next hunt…

cross

Whilst the blood before green gunk didn’t make much sense (either it would be one or the other one feels), this was actually a nice little twist on the genre. The gore effects were very well done and Katie Loftin was particularly natural when it came to her performance (though others were perhaps a lot stagier). The vampires in this die through staking, can be slowed by blessed bullets and poisoned by garlic. Crosses will ward them and a staking with a cross causes the flesh to slough from the bones.

Mario Aguilar as the Cucuy

The other interesting aspects of the overall film were the inclusion of the Hispanic bogeyman creature the Cucuy (Mario Aguilar). In this appearing to be somewhat of a sineater (through the eyes), he is depicted with crooked fangs and we do see a vampiric style neck-bite. Not a vampire as such but interesting nonetheless. The segment Mirror also sees a possessed/curse mirror that causes a narcissistic stupor to overcome the owner who also becomes murderous as the mirror desires blood – making it somewhat of a vampiric object.

vamp face

Those segments aside, as I mentioned at the head of the review the film is rather original and it is entertaining – though stitching the bits together feels a tad confusing. The gore effects are well done for an indie production but many of the actors are somewhat stiff and stagy (exceptions notwithstanding). If you bear in mind the very budget nature of this it isn’t bad and certainly deserves 5 out of 10. Tightening up the story connection and some stronger performances would have pushed this upwards, as would slicker cinematography.

The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Amazon UK

Danger, Dames & Dangerous Games – review

Director: Alexander Salazar

Release date: 2016

Contains spoilers

At first glance the title looks silly – but don’t worry its purposefully so as Danger, Dames & Dangerous Games is a low budget urban fantasy, with a slice of noir but, more importantly, a comedic heart.

It does carry with it some controversy as I have seen that many have likened it (closely) to a book series entitled Monster Hunters International by Larry Correia. Having not read the books I can’t say and perhaps you’d offer your opinion in the comments section. Nevertheless, I will judge the film on its merits and the merits are good – though there is an issue with the version I watched.

the confrontation

The film starts with main character Marvin (Justin Marshall Elias) monologuing, in a film noir way, facing a window and then… grey screen and an exclamation mark… and we're suddenly in the middle of a confrontation with a vampire, Sherman (Michael D. Anglin), in a warehouse. This is either a broken upload on Amazon Prime or a deliberate digital grindhouse moment. As this misses the exposition of the fact that Marvin is an accountant (not a detective), that the artefact the vampire is looking for (the Aegresco) has chosen Marvin and is now in his blood (and how that happened), and the relationship with the vampire and a co-worker, Kingsley (Susan Gordon), who is dead in the room. Of course, you pick up on these as you go through the film (though not how the artefact chose him) so perhaps this was deliberate but the break is so glaring I suspect not. The technical issue has not impacted my scoring.

awaiting combustion

So, having been beaten by the inhumanly fast vampire, Marvin manages to grab a silver pin and (with a glow in his hand, which turns out to be the Aegresco) he stabs at him and the vampire vanishes. He awakens, wrapped in bandages with a beautiful dame in the room – actually credited as the Dame (Shanna Vincent) – who essentially gives him warnings. He is out again and comes around to two FBI agents in the room, Agents Dwayne (Robin Lee Canode) and Nixon (Christopher Heskey). They tell him that he died for a moment and, if vampire venom has resurrected him, his citizenship will be revoked and he will be killed. They open the curtains and he doesn’t combust.

vampires

Marvin then finds himself thrust into a world of gangsters and fantasy creatures, including articulate zombies, half-trolls and homeless elves. It seems his parents have been kidnapped and everyone wants the Aegresco, especially the vampire who wants to conduct a power ritual and take on the vampire elders. Marvin is hapless and yet bungles his way through, whilst avoiding cats – he fears and hates cats. The film is absolutely filled with holes – it even makes a comment to that effect as a knowing aside – and yet it is such good fun. This is down primarily to the actors.

the Dame and Agent Dwayne

They all sincerely seem to be having fun, with a lot of satisfied looks to camera or the odd lick of a fang adding together to make things great fun. However, it is Justin Marshall Elias who absolutely makes the film. He manages to combine bungler with handsome leading man, his noir voiceover is perfect and his timing impeccable. The film is worth watching for him. It might be derivative of another intellectual property (as I mentioned, I can’t say either way) but it is a satisfying budget flick. 6 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Amazon UK

Honourable Mention: The Boy Who Left Home to Find Out About the Shivers

I am absolutely torn on this one. Part of Shelley Duvall's Faerie Tale Theatre, this was an adaptation of the Brothers Grimm’s The Story of the Youth Who Went Forth to Learn What Fear Was. It has a bit of an all star cast and my reason for including it are two-fold – one reason might be a ‘Vamp or Not?’ for something that is essentially a fleeting visitation and the other is, at best, of genre interest.

After Shelley Duval introduces the show, the story is narrated by Vincent Price and follows the adventures of Martin (Peter MacNicol, Dracula – Dead and Loving It). Martin feels the odd one out in his Transylvanian village as he does not (and never has) felt fear, unlike his superstitious father (Jeff Corey) and brother (Gary Springer). When the sexton (Jack Riley, The Night Dracula Saved the World) dresses as a ghost to try and scare Martin in the church belfry, Martin nonchalantly pushes the trespasser down the stairs, injuring him, and his father sends him away with a little money and orders never to tell anyone who his family is.

Christopher Lee as King Vladimir V

Ten miles later and Martin has reached the kingdom of King Vladimir V (Christopher Lee), he sees a note directing him to the inn as the King has a problem of a haunted castle. The King is indeed there and it is revealed that he is the son of Vladimir the Impaler, also known as Vladimir Ţepeş AKA Bad Vlad. If someone can spend three nights in the castle then they would break the curse, win the treasure, win the hand of the Princess Amanda (Dana Hill) and rule as King. Martin accepts the challenge – but not for the prizes, rather to see if he can feel a shiver. Amanda falls for Martin, though he thinks she works at the inn. So, our genre interest moment is the fact that Christopher Lee plays Vlad Ţepeş’ son (though the numbering is wrong, of course, and Vlad was never a king).

fangs

The night that interests us is the second night. Having just been missed by (and been oblivious to) a falling axe and a razor-sharp pendulum, Martin is sat by the fire when a disembodied phantom head (Gary Schwartz, The Nightmare Before Christmas) rises from the flames. The first thing I noticed was the fangs! His body follows and interacts with the head but Martin feels no fear. When he puts his head back on his shoulders he becomes corporeal and Martin teaches him how to scream menacingly. More spectres appear (none with fangs), become corporeal and, after failing to scare Martin, they all end up bowling (using bones as pins and a skull as a ball).

Martin and Attila

Was he a vampire? The fangs suggested so, and he was monstrous in visage, so perhaps he was a vampiric ghost – or perhaps he was just a ghost and the fangs were an affectation? Honestly, I just really wanted to feature the episode so I’ll leave it to you to decide whether you think the fangs were enough to qualify? The episode also features Frank Zappa as Attila the hunchback and David Warner as the innkeeper and it is a fun little way to spend just under an hour.

The imdb page is here.

Cuadecuc, vampir – review

Director: Pere Portabella

Release date: 1971

Contains spoilers

In the introduction to The Cambridge Companion to Dracula, editor Roger Luckhurst talks about Cuadecuc, vampir and calls it “probably the most provoking adaptation of Dracula you have never seen”. He describes the reception thusly, it “was shown at the Cannes film festival to acclaim but was immediately banned in Spain. Although there is nothing explicitly stated, the fascist authorities that tightly controlled cultural expression got the message loud and clear. Count Dracula is meant to represent the undead dictator Franco”.

fascism drains Spain's vitality

This rebellion is difficult to see as a viewer not part of the region, nor under the regime, over forty years after its release. To this outsider, it is in the title that the rebellion of the film is revealed. I watched the Blu-ray release of the film in preparation of the review – and that is titled Vampir Cuadecuc, but I have used the original inverted title for the review. The word cuadecuc means ‘worm’s tail’ in Catalan but it also describes the unexposed end of a film reel. When it was filmed, the Catalan language had been brutally banned by the Fascist regime in Spain and using it (or even reading it) could be punished by a public lashing or jail sentences.

high contrast black and white

For those who are unaware of this film then you must understand that when Jess Franco made Count Dracula (1970) he allowed Pere Portabella and a small crew to film the filming. This does not make Cuadecuc, vampir a ‘making of’ Franco’s movie. It is much more (and less, in some ways) than that. Portabella makes a movie of Dracula, vampirising Franco’s production. However, he films in a high contrast black and white and this brings Dreyer’s Vampyr aesthetically to mind. The use of film as the medium of vampirism also brings Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens to mind, in which the death of the vampire is reminiscent of the death of film exposed to the sun.

Christopher Lee

But as well as telling the story – visually, the majority of the film is without any dialogue, only changing at the end where Christopher Lee speaks to the camera, explaining the run up to the death of Dracula in the novel before reading that extract. However it is the moments that are behind the scene where the film finds its deepest expression. An actor plays to the camera before Franco’s filming starts, Lee removes his face covering (as the coachman) and gives the camera a cheeky grin and a wave, we see someone with a smoke machine walking the path before Harker’s coach thunders along the (now) foggy road to be filmed. One of my favourite images was Lee led in his coffin as a crew member sprays fake cobwebs up his body.

spraying cobwebs

The film has a near perfect crap bat moment as Portabella films Franco’s bat effect, making no effort to hide the wires the rubber bat flies along. Bizarrely Klaus Kinski does not appear in the film (he plays Renfield in the parent production), which seems odd given the power of his performance. There is no dialogue but there is sound. Carles Santos creates a soundscape of tonal and ambient movements, sometimes taking modern (at the time) pieces and letting them play as a theme and then destroying them. Industrial noises invade the scenes and the soundtrack is strangely very modern (to now) in an avant-garde, experimental way.

a bride

Now you might be thinking that it sounds awful and on paper it might be that it should be, or at least be nothing more than a fleeting curio of cinema. However, it is a mesmerising mood piece that sucks the viewer in – or at least it did with me. I will say its likely to be a love it or hate it art film, but I was taken by it, I found it a much stronger piece of cinema than that constructed by Franco. Perhaps the music, the black and white and the stronger photography in general, the post-modernism that doesn’t recognise that a fourth wall even exists, the underlying rebellion. I don’t know. But for me this gets a strong 6 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.