Director: Tiago Mesquita
Release date: 2019
Contains spoilers
It is always a good idea, when outlining a narrative, and subsequently plotting a story, to actually have a story that is any way, shape or form (even vaguely) comprehensible. That is something these filmmakers could have done well to remember.
It would also be nice if DVD covers had to have a modicum of truth. So this one (UK release) has a clumsy quote that says “
Werewolves Vs Vampires action packed”… the werewolves are there… there is
a vampire, the figure of Charlotte Beckett is made to look like Selene in
Underworld (and connecting the two, well that’s a stretch especially on a qualitative level) and the great big werewolf – ok that’s just a lie. And Big Ben – the film is set and filmed in Brussels!
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Laurent Lesseigne as Randall |
We are in Europe a couple of years in the future (2022) and, because of Brexit, Europe has gone to a full federal state… ahem… wishful thinking maybe. Harry (John Flanders) is the campaign manager for the current president, Richard Sherman (Kristoffel Verdonck), who is facing an election. He is confronted by a man with machine gun and balaclava, who is revealed to be Randall (Laurent Lesseigne). It looks like a robbery but both men are werewolves and Randall is packing silver bullets.
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Charlotte Beckett as Kristy Wolfe |
Harry does fight back and here we have problem number 1, their eyes glow in a clearly post-production glow and fangs appear and… we’ll that’s it. There is no further transformation. No blooming giant wolf/wolfman form. There is very little point to making them werewolves… To this point we will return. Anyway, 'professional' Randall leaves Harry still alive, just, with a cell phone and so, with his dying breath, he calls his niece – PI Kristy Wolfe (Charlotte Beckett) and tells her who killed him.
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Lindsay Lohan as Patricia |
Now, if the name hadn’t given it away… well Kristy is a werewolf too. She is approached by the President’s First Lady, Patricia (Lindsay Lohan), who is a vampire (but is married to a werewolf as they love each other – I know that would sound an obvious reason for marriage but it is explicit in dialogue). She wants to hire Kristy as she fears the president’s life is in danger – despite the fact she was already investigating Harry’s death. What makes werewolves and vampires different? Well vampires have fangs but their eyes don’t glow!! Honestly, that’s about it – clearly werewolves are born (no clue if someone can be turned) and as a result of the one vampire bite we see we are told of that person being turned. But we only see the one vampire. The fact that we have them at all is fairly meaningless – you could have done all this without the supernatural element – and the wolves may as well be vampires for all the difference we can see.
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bloodied |
Vampires and werewolves can read each other’s mind and so, at one point, Kristy gets a potion made that will protect her mind – its made from ancient vampire blood and might have a negative physical impact (that we don’t see). Other than that we see her wandering around, failing to kill her target (Randall) on the first attempt, dodging the head police detective but sleeping with one of his men and being targeted for attacks (and what appeared to be a fatal response to a mugging when she is drunk). There are ill-defined political shenanigans going on and packs of werewolves attacking joggers (first time two late night joggers, the next time a whole flock of them - but don't get excited, they are dismal and embarrassing slaughter scenes) to distract the police from the real objective – attacking the President.
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the (First) lady is a vamp |
The story is ill-defined, we get factions and political intrigue that is lazily and boringly drawn and keeps the viewer from connecting with the film. Then, with the supernatural side being superfluous to the point of being pointless, you get a big old pile of meh. Lindsay Lohan turns in a credible performance but poor dialogue and characterisation causes Charlotte Beckett to struggle to take the viewer with her despite best efforts. The rest of the acting is nondescript at best. There is some truly awful green-screen work, the action is tame and the atmosphere lacking. And at best, this gets
2.5 out of 10.
The imdb page is
here.
On DVD @ Amazon US
On DVD @ Amazon UK
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