Seymour the Unfortunate Vampire – review

Director: Joe Kane

Release date: 2024

Contains spoilers

This film was, I believe, a reconstruction of a web serial, now pulled into a feature and despite trying to do urban fantasy, in a comedic way, on a budget I was really rather taken with it. There were some fun characters, and it was helped that Seymour (Joe Kane) was rather endearing.

It starts with an almost industrial moment and then we see movement through trees into suburbia where Seymour is outside the house about to smoke a cigarette. His friend Corina (Jacqueline Real) arrives, asking about friend Wally (Wayne Heckler) – he’s inside – and nags Seymour about the cigarette. Once she has gone in he is suddenly confronted by a man, Basil (Chritian Titus), bumming a cigarette. We see the fangs, Basil attacks Seymour.

attack

The titles contain background, talking about humans becoming fearful and destructive towards the supernatural creatures, the Salem witch trials and the council of royal vampires (purebloods we later hear) creating the Shadowlands as a haven. There was then civil war and the royal vampires were defeated. Back in our timeline and Corina and Wally interrupt the attack. Seymour's subsequent turning process involves various visions.

Seymour and Agent Odin

Basil is confronted by Director Hagar (Brimstone) of the Supernatural Rehabilitation Services (SRS). Attacking a human (and turning him) is a big no no. Hagar rips the heart out of his chest and boxes it. Elsewhere, Corina and Wally speak on the phone as they are out and about – Wally is taking no chances, despite Seymour being their friend, he has filled his contact lens case with holy water and bought Garlic powder. Meanwhile Agent Odin (Sal Conca) of the SRS drugs and kidnaps Seymour, ensures he has not fed off anyone, gives him a rule book and a pill box full of blood. I should mention that vampires, in this, have reflections but they can act independently of the physical self.

Wally and Corina

So we follow Seymour getting used to the new way of life, being tutored by Chester (Marshall R. Teague) the werewolf, on the radar of a couple of vampire hunters and learning that he should avoid fairies – they like to drink vampire blood as it is a drug to them and he eventually discovers that drinking fairy blood puts the vampire into a coma. A bit of a spoiler but I did want to mention that the film does jump forward five years part way through, due to this mishap, and whilst it jarred immediately, it did quickly work and drew in a larger conspiracy.

the vampire hunters

As I said at the head, this was fun. It was really inventive and, whilst the budget did show, they did much with little. Seymour, as I mentioned, was endearing and most of the characters worked really well (barring a couple of side characters later on that were there for plot/numbers and not developed in the same way). I would have liked to see more of the vampire hunters – they were fun – and more of Seymour’s family, but they did pack a lot into the short running length. 6.5 out of 10.

The imdb page is here.

On Demand @ Amazon US

On Demand @ Amazon UK